[Tbhimscared]

I keep having strange thoughts of being with T sexually... It's not even that it's something I WANT but I just have thoughts of it, what would happen, what would it be like, etc. Sometimes I think about what it would be like to be friends with her or see her in a romantic relationship. Maybe I'm curious to see another side of her from what I see in session?
T and I are both female and I consider myself to be straight so I'm confused why these thoughts are coming to my head when I'm not even interested in women.. anyone have a similar experience?

Yes. For me I think there's an element of desiring a more mutual intimacy (and this is an obvious way to think about that) and/or to level the playing field in an unusual and difficult power dynamic. It's all pretty normal to think about.

Originally Posted by Tbhimscared

I keep having strange thoughts of being with T sexually... It's not even that it's something I WANT but I just have thoughts of it, what would happen, what would it be like, etc. Sometimes I think about what it would be like to be friends with her or see her in a romantic relationship. Maybe I'm curious to see another side of her from what I see in session?

T and I are both female and I consider myself to be straight so I'm confused why these thoughts are coming to my head when I'm not even interested in women.. anyone have a similar experience?

Yes but I am interested in women. I once tried a male therapist to see would I have feelings for him. I deliberately picked an old, unattractive balding man and low and behold I began to think about him a lot too. I really think it’s the dynamic of therapy, the intimacy of it that evokes these powerful feelings.
I also think they are really useful feelings because they allow us to explore what we want from relationships in a safe place- our head.
What is it about your t that you like?

In the clinical literature, transference can cause sexual or romantic feelings between a same sex pair even when the client identifies as heterosexual.

Exactly QM, I have read that before too. I have also read that it is more likely to happen between a female therapist and a female client.

[InnerPeace111]

Yep, you bet. I go through it myself from time to time.

[Tbhimscared]

I like her personality and humour. She's really honest and can be blunt but I'm like that too so maybe thats what I'm attracted to or makes me think that way? I don't know where the transference would be coming from, I haven't really been in a committed relationship before but maybe that's actually it. Maybe it's because she's the person I've been most honest with compared to other people?

[RaineD]

I don't have sexual fantasies about my T, but I have fantasies about taking care of him, like if he's sick or something. I'd think it's totally weird and insane, except I know from Irv Yalom's novel that other people have these kinds of fantasies too.

[Glittering]

Yes. It confuses the hell out of me. We are both female, and whilst I identify as heterosexual (and am married to a man and have a child with him) I am attracted to women sometimes - this has become more pronounced since being with this T. I know that she is in a relationship with another woman and I don't know if this makes a difference in the way I feel about her. She's definitely not my physical type whatsoever. It is so confusing and I'm just very grateful to know it's a thing and not just me going crazy (or should that be crazier?!)

[Tbhimscared]

It's so confusing ugh. I think my attraction started when I saw T too, but I don't remember thinking about these things as much with T1 as I am with T2. its weird but I'm glad others go through this as well.

[Lemoncake]

I have the same thoughts at the moment too.

I often think about my t too but I don’t actually want to be with her like that, it’s more a very young part of me that wants t to love me and care about me.

[Tbhimscared]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

I often think about my t too but I don’t actually want to be with her like that, it’s more a very young part of me that wants t to love me and care about me.

I think part of my attraction is from that too. A younger part of me might see her as an older sister (I have 2 brothers) that I’ve always wanted and maybe that leads to further attachment

[AllHeart]

I experienced that with my same sex ex-t as well and it disturbed me for a long time. I figured it was some Freudian thing -- something to do with my intense desires to please her, fill her needs. Much like a child needing to deeply please her mother in a loving way in order to be accepted which somehow translated into sex for me. I don't know. But, I eventually stopped trying to analyze it, accepted it, and came to enjoy the fantasies.

[Tbhimscared]

Originally Posted by AllHeart

I experienced that with my same sex ex-t as well and it disturbed me for a long time. I figured it was some Freudian thing -- something to do with my intense desires to please her, fill her needs. Much like a child needing to deeply please her mother in a loving way in order to be accepted which somehow translated into sex for me. I don't know. But, I eventually stopped trying to analyze it, accepted it, and came to enjoy the fantasies.

Good idea I never really thought to just try and enjoy them. Maybe I really am gay and this is a window into that! Or it could just be a strange Freudian fantasy and if it is, nobody can see into my head and what I’m thinking so I might as well enjoy what I’ve got