Can you make up a word for the T-relationship?

Complicated

I emailed my T some of the terms we came up with and she thought they were fantastic! She's going to think about which she likes best. But I've been thinking about it, and "heartmates" is the term that to me, conveys best what T and I have. She always says she has a special place in her heart for me. It's not romantic and doesn't cross boundaries like friendship because it's within our hearts. I hope T will agree with me! Thanks, Peaches, for suggesting heartship. Thanks to everyone else too. If you have more ideas, please add them. My T even thought this would make a good therapy article. I didn't send the funny and negative terms though.

It is an odd concept to me, assigning a unique term for the therapist-client relationship, making it something more special. When one is paying for the services of another, I always think of the person paying as the client, and nothing more. But it is neat to see other people's ideas here. I hope whatever term you choose provides you with some comfort, rainbow.

I like heartmates. That makes me smile.

I did not think anyone suggested anything negative. More business perhaps but not negative. I mean, no one suggested charlatan or fake or anything like that.

I know some people will see what I am doing as just another way to feed my obsession. You're entitled to your opinion of course. But my first T, years ago, told me our relationship is different, not friendship, but that doesn't make it less. Besides, this was T's idea! It's not MORE special than client/T but it IS special in a unique way. Thank you. Heartmates already gives me comfort.

Yeah, it makes me feel warm inside!

Thanks! I am not criticizing anyone. That's not my intention at all. Yes, more businesslike. Sorry I worded it badly.

I think heartmates is a good description of the object relations, or inter- i forget the word, i think my t wrote about it. Also what winnicott wrote about. Where the mother helps the infant understand and cope with the infants feelings.

mentor
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Kaleidoscope.

We are kaleidescopes to each other? I assume you mean the therapy itself with patterns and colors. That's interesting. T and I are heartmates in the kaleidescope of (therapy) life maybe.

I'm glad you came up with a term that works for you, rainbow. I am confused why your therapist thinks this topic and responses would make a good article, though, because I think for most it's a business relationship and putting the idea out there that it's a heart thing would be misleading. I kind of think your relationship with your therapist is not like most. While I think that many care, it's more of a business or work-type caring. Mine always stresses the work aspect, anyway. I'm not saying that's bad, just maybe more the reality for most.

My T and I just call it unique..... That We have our own interesting and special relationship going on. We are not friends of course, but we are very friendly, and much closer than a regular T/ client. She says she and I have something just very different than we have with any of people and that God brought us together and its just something very precious. Maybe my word would be precious.

I hope my T likes "heartmates". She's big on the relationship thing. Maybe she thinks I need it but it's also her style: warm and open, with plenty of love! I didn't have this with my other T's. It's freeing for me to express and receive love in therapy. It's part of the attachment work.

Aw! You do have a precious and unique relationship with your T. I wish she would move back so you could see her more.

For me, I'd go with frenepeers (sort of like frenemies but the opposite). I like heartmates but I think the connection is too one sided even though I think more intimate that friends. "Fren" because the relationship is a friendly one (as opposed to an antagonistic one), not because we are friends or aspire to have that kind of relationship. Peers because I don't see the therapist as any kind of authority on me or in any other way. There is such a thing as peer counseling but my understanding of it is that it exists in places like educational contexts with the idea that one student may be ahead in terms of years and school and has knowledge to share from that experience. More like peers as in "peer review", not because I ask the T to critique my life but because it's the closest thing I think to to communicate that we are equals.

I think of Romeo and Juliet when I hear heartmate. I hope she likes it.

I often tell my kids, nieces and nephews when parting, “You’re my heart” with a hand gesture to my heart.

Intimate compadres

alot of these words seem to suggest a mutual relationship which for some, could be misleading.

I guess I can be cynical but if my t asked me to come up with a name, I might see it as simply a tool which would defeat the purpose of doing it perhaps.

I see my T tomorrow. I will post afterwards if she thinks heartmates is misleading. I don't think it is. She can't be my friend even though I wish she could but there is no reason we can't be heartmates. So what if it's a little mutual? It's about love. In this crazy world, love is a good thing. Every day I'm in pain now from sciatica. I don't think T is going to object to a heartfelt connection. I really don't.

I hope you find a word that fits! I think it is a fun exercise

When I think of kashi I think of something kinda whimsical...spirit animal? My patronus?

I am all for love and believe that a therapist can love clients and clients can love their therapist. And if having a name is useful for a person then there is nothing wrong with that. But the harsh reality is, that no matter what name you put on it, it doesn't change the fact that it a professional business relationship and many have gotten hurt by blurred boundaries. And also by trying to make it something that it is not.

At the end of the day, it is what it is.

Rainbow, I went out to my friend google to see what it had to say on the topic and found this article on language in the medical world that you might find interesting. It's not exactly what you were looking for when you posted your question. I did think it was interesting on how language may change how one views their care:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5241771/

I like the word mate here. It needs a prefix to it, not sure what. Just seems that mate can imply a different level of connection from each side. I don't like theramates though, so hmmm. comate??

Personally, I think I think of T as my playmate. We often talk about therapy as "the work", it's also play in a way. Then again, with the process I've mapped out for us, we do play a lot and maybe the thought of T as my playmate is coming from where I am in my process. Come to think about it, yeah, I pretty much am at the place where I see our sessions as play dates too. So, probably just a by product of my process and my place within that process.

Maybe teammate.... on team Rainbow?

I like the name team rainbow.

I like teammate too. And something like fellow traveler maybe?

Doesn't that sound like we're all Communist sympathizers?