[silentlyscreaming]

I have been participating in the DBT program for just over 6 months, and I really look forward to the weekly group sessions, because it's the first time I've ever felt comfortable sharing inner most thoughts and feelings.
DBT had become my 'safe' place, the only place where I felt truly comfortable to be me (besides here, of course )
This morning, one of the women in group lost her temper and threw a tanty and because we weren't responding in the way she wanted, she started throwing things we'd all revealed about ourselves into our faces.
The facilitators let her go, and she continued to verbally attack and criticise us, bringing up things that are extremely painful.
Everyone in group was clearly getting really distressed.
This woman continued her tirade for about 20 minutes, before someone stepped up and told her to shut up.
After the session, One of the facilitators approached me and may as well have said she didn't mean it, get over it!!!

I'm soooo angry!!!

I feel like the sense of security and acceptance I felt there has been snatched away, and now I'm questioning if there is any point continuing with the program, because I know I'll close myself off now.

Sorry, just needed to vent.....................

[Perna]

One has to learn to accept the "bad" as well as the good things about one's self. I'm sorry you had this painful experience, silently, but it did at least happen in your "safe" place? You had already told what she "threw back" at you, you're working on that, know it's an issue, so she can't really hurt you with that piece of information; you're working as hard as you can!

I had a vice president humiliate me in "public" in front of others and it turned out to be one of the best things that happened to me. I was able to see what I was doing, what I didn't like about what he did (and him) and make a very specific plan in relation to his behavior and how I related to him, etc.

Think about this experience and don't indescriminately withdraw; I would use your anger to discuss the situation next week and "ask" the leaders why they didn't curb such wholesale destruction and pain and humiliation and I'd let the woman know you did not appreciate her thoughtless tirade and also let the leaders and woman know if she did it again you were getting up and leaving the group forever. Let them know, in a very focus, calm manner that you were "abuseed" by the behavior of that one woman and you cannot allow yourself to be so abused again in the future!

[sunrise]

That sounds really painful, silently. I don't know what DBT group therapy is, but is a part of it that the group members have to run their own group rather than relying on the facilitators for help? Maybe the faciliators were just waiting for the group to say "enough already, shut up lady." I hope you won't let this one woman ruin the group experience for you. Maybe at the next session, you can raise the topic. Could you say, "last time when Ms. X went on her tirade, I was very hurt, and I felt like the safety and security of our group was compromised because of her behavior. What can we do about that?" And then the group could discuss, and maybe put Ms. X in her place and let her know her destructive and hurtful behavior will not be tolerated?

[Mouse_]

Silent, I think allowing that woman to "rule" the group for 20mins was way to long. I think I would perpare myself with my own boundaires for a "next" time and if that happened again I would "remove" myself from the room for how ever long, and make it clear I will not allow myself to accept the unacceptable.

[pachyderm]

silently:

"This woman continued her tirade for about 20 minutes, before someone stepped up and told her to shut up.
After the session, One of the facilitators approached me and may as well have said she didn't mean it, get over it!!!

I'm soooo angry!!!"

Are you angry at the facilitator saying "get over it" or the whole thing? I am not sure.

[ECHOES]

((( silentlyscreaming )))

That sounds really hard to have to sit through!! If it is part of the process, I hope it works out and is helpful.