If you give your therapist a handmade artwork, where would you want them to put it

Feb 02, 2018, 01:02 PM

I feel the gift receiver has no obligation to the gift giver. I was forced to wear, eat and display awful things as a kid because I needs to show my everlasting appreciation. Now, l get to choose.

I’m not the artsy type, I’m a consumer. I gave my ex therapist gifts when I terminated. A year later, I saw they were displayed on her bookshelf. I was in her office three years later and I did not even think to look around the room and I had totally forgotten about the display.

During the holidays I was at my ex therapist house and the ornaments I gave over the years were on her Xmas tree. Her family did not know I was the former gift giving client. And, a piece of artwork I bought on my travels resides on her piano. If I go again and the things are not displayed I will be fine.

feralkittymom · Feb 02, 2018, 07:21 PM

I think gift giving/receiving is contextual and can be complicated. The desire to have a gift displayed forever seems to reflect a child's attachment feelings. If a T chooses to accept a gift, I would hope they would be cognizant of the context of the relationship and the gift.

For a client not relating within a child's attachment, gift giving can be far more relaxed and flexible and mutually enjoyable, as it can be in other relationships. I think the potential for conflict or difficult feelings arising is probably highest for clients whose attachment is both child-based and unconscious, and with Ts who aren't well versed in the psychological aspects of context in gift giving.

Feb 02, 2018, 07:57 PM

I write my T a lot of poems. I once wrote him a poem that I know he liked very much. He asked whether he could put it on his wall in his private office which is above his therapy room. I said yes.
I think it's nice he wants to do that and I don't mind for how long he displays it. I think a poem can stay with you.

Feb 02, 2018, 09:18 PM

mine puts her up in her house. i have seen it on skype.

velcro003 · Feb 03, 2018, 12:26 AM

i will edit to add that if i gave my T painting, i have zero expectations. she could throw it out right after i left, and as long as i didn't know, i don't care.

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If you give your therapist a handmade artwork, where would you want them to put it

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