My therapist decided to work in that she has major depression (in remission). She wanted my reaction to that—asked me twice. I just said so you know how painful depression is.

Really, I wasn’t interested, and then she said she is lucky that she has two meds that work for her.

I don’t even remember what I was trying to talk about. I do remember thinking it wasn’t relevant to what I was trying to talk about.

Do your therapists tell you their diagnosis? I’ve never had that happen before.

[MoxieDoxie]

Yes mine has done full disclosure including a inpatient stay for his mental health disorder.

No. I'd be weary of that.

No, mine has never disclosed that.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

If he used to struggle with something similar to what I am experiencing, he might mention it. For example once I accidentally wrote down the wrong time for a session and was an hour late, and just waited in the waiting area because I wasn't aware I was late. He told me to knock next time, but also said how that might be scary. And added that some years ago he would have struggled with just knocking too.

But I doubt he'd ever tell me about current issues. And certainly not if it was not relevant to my situation.

[nottrustin]

T discloses a lot about her personal life. I know she has some medical conditions but I am not sure it would be beneficial to a disclose mental health diagnosis.

[junkDNA]

He's told me he has bipolar and takes medication for that

[LonesomeTonight]

My marriage counselor has said a few times, including shortly after we started seeing him, that he has an anxiety disorder. It made me feel like he could understand me more, because I do, too.

But then...I don't know, more recently I feel like it's actually been a negative thing. At times, he seems to act like since he's learned to deal with his anxiety, why shouldn't I be able to? It's like if a former smoker would say to a current smoker, "Just quit--I did it, it's easy!" (forgetting how hard it can be). And he seems to put much of the blame on me for marriage issues, like, I'm just being too anxious, I need to adapt to H, as opposed to both of us trying to make changes/compromise. It's too complicated to get into here, so I'll stop rambling!

[Anne2.0]

I think there's a big difference in disclosures between "this is happening now" vs. "this is what I've been through." I'd be uncomfortable with the first and have heard a number of things from my current and past therapists (different levels of disclosure) about their pasts.

I've found that disclosures about the past are helpful to me in my therapy. They never include excessive detail and there are ways that I learn from them, it helps me normalize my own experiences and it can reveal ways I'm thinking or feeling by having someone relate to my experience.

But like everything else, if your T's disclosures are not helpful to you, tell her. Talk about it or just tell her not to do it anymore.

I'm quite sure my T has been depressed. She told me once that after a life event (she specified) she had a hard time and everything took a LOT of energy.

Pdoc has only said he's never taking clomipramine. He was going to prescribe it to me (after I'd tried a few other meds) and talking about how he doesn't prescribe it much (he's a child/youth pdoc, SSRI 's are their first-second-third line) it's his favourite med. Then he blinked as if only then realizing how he sounded and said he's never taken it himself.
He doesn't talk about himself much. He's not closed, just doesn't volunteer a lot of information on his home life and I don't mind that.

I'm wary of T's who have been through too similar things as I. Afraid they think what works for them works for everybody, and also the 'yeah, but you got through it. I might not, and anyway, I'm in it now." And then there's the fear of not being believed because you have a symptom they don't have, or being thought to be exaggerating because [one of] your symptoms is/are worse than theirs.

Ugh. Therapists shoe-horning their own MH into other people's therapy is one of my bugbears. My first therapist described his episodes of dissociation and I was thinking "why are you telling me this?"
I would tell the therapist you are not interested and ask her to keep her issues out of your therapy.

[InnerPeace111]

No, my therapist has never disclosed her diagnosis to me.

[Carmina]

I had a counselor who would constantly bring up 'me too' when I tried to discuss my problems. Hate that, it's very self centred, shows a lack of empathy and undermines boundaries and trust. On the other hand I can appreciate that in the interests of honesty some therapists might feel able or needing to share their own mental health issues as long as it stays just a brief disclosure and doesn't dominate the therapy. Fact is I know very few people working in mental health who have not had some sort of MH problem, it's probably a big driver in them wanting to help others now they are weller themselves, as long as they are able to separate their stuff from mine that's fine and not make it about them this has advantages, the problem is when they can't and it gets messy (but that's why they should be also having their own therapy or at least regular supervision).

I think we are moving towards a mental health system where survivors and users of MH services should be the ones helping each other, so we will always be in positions where those offering help have also needed help themselves, that's a good thing to me.

[satsuma]

Key tones, for me it seems like a red flag that the therapist insisted on hearing your reaction to her disclosing about her major depression. The therapy session should be focussed on you. How can your reaction to her disclosure be relevant? It makes it sound as if she is trying to use the session to focus on herself, and that is really inappropriate.

Some Ts are careful not to disclose anything at all about themselves. Personally I would find those Ts difficult to work with. My T self-discloses quite a lot about little things, and it helps me to trust him and for us to have a good therepeutic relationship. But I don't think he would disclose about a problem with his own mental health because that would lead to me focussing on him and maybe feeling worried around him or worrying that he couldn't cope with my therapy. And he certainly never insists on me reacting to any disclosure of his. If I ignore it then we move on.

I don't want to say "you must leave this T" because that's up to you of course and also you know the context, and whether this T really helping you overall. I will just say that if this happened to me with a T I had only been seeing for a short while, I would definitely consider trying out other Ts with a view to leaving for a new T.

[maybeblue]

I think it was inappropriate for your therapist to bring up her diagnosis in that way. Self-disclosure on the therapist side should only happen for the benefit of the client. If she brings it up again, I wonder what she would say if you asked her "Why are you telling me that?"

I had one therapist who brought way, way too much of her own personal stuff into my session. Now I'm a little gun shy when they start talking about themselves even a little bit. I have no idea if either of my therapists have any kind of mental health diagnosis, and I'd rather not know. Neither would bring it up on their own. I don't know if they would tell me if I asked. But I'm not going to ask, because I'm selfish in therapy and I don't care. I think if they want to talk about their stuff in therapy then they should be paying me.

[Moreta]

My therapist has BP like me. Sometimes I'd just like to make an uplink to her brain to learn all the **** she knows that I don't know already. haha. She's good at knowing what I'm thinking which is weird, but I guess she's been there too. tbf she only does therapy on the side. She's a professor at a local college where she lives and teaches future therapists.

[SparkySmart]

Originally Posted by key tones

My therapist decided to work in that she has major depression (in remission). She wanted my reaction to that—asked me twice. I just said so you know how painful depression is.

Really, I wasn’t interested, and then she said she is lucky that she has two meds that work for her.

I don’t even remember what I was trying to talk about. I do remember thinking it wasn’t relevant to what I was trying to talk about.

Do your therapists tell you their diagnosis? I’ve never had that happen before.

My therapist (whom I no longer see) disclosed ALL his diagnoses and meds starting at our first visit, which were exactly the same as mine. No matter what I described during sessions, his response was, "me too." In addition, he admitted to multiple hospitalizations. I think he was trying to "de-pathologize" my situation and assure me that I wasn't alone in this, but it made me wary and distrusting; obviously I felt that this was a "blind leading the blind" situation. He even claimed to suffer the same social difficulties and stigma that I experience daily as a result of MI. Interestingly, he suggested that my life would improve if I would only smile more and try to be a less intense person. Huh?

I wasn't at all interested in his diagnoses -- and his disclosures, more often than not, interrupted my train of thought. I would have immediately terminated the relationship if I had had options. Ultimately I terminated anyway, choosing not to pursue therapy at all.

[CharlieStarDust]

Mine has never disclosed/discussed any diagnosis. She say things like: when I feel X I find Y is helpful; or she'll relate in a distant (but helpful) way - she'll say she understands how hard some things can be - hard to explain - but she validates and reassures in a way that's helpful - rather than distracting.

[Elio]

Originally Posted by CharlieStarDust

Mine has never disclosed/discussed any diagnosis. She say things like: when I feel X I find Y is helpful; or she'll relate in a distant (but helpful) way - she'll say she understands how hard some things can be - hard to explain - but she validates and reassures in a way that's helpful - rather than distracting.

This is a lot of what my T says. I did ask her one time when our relationship (T and mine) was in a rupture phase, if she'd ever been through therapy herself. She declined to answer with the qualifications that she was declining at that moment.

I am glad that she does not self-disclose very much.

[healinginprogress]

Mine has self disclosed that she has been in therapy herself but not anything beyond that. I would question why a T would self-disclose a diagnosis when it had nothing to do with what you were talking about at the time. And then focus on your reaction? That would make me uncomfortable.

Thank you all for your replies. It helps me to work out how I feel about it.

[Carmina]

Originally Posted by healinginprogress

Mine has self disclosed that she has been in therapy herself but not anything beyond that.

Therapists are supposed to be/have been in therapy themselves, at least the more psychodynamic and humanistic ones.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by maybeblue

because I'm selfish in therapy and I don't care. I think if they want to talk about their stuff in therapy then they should be paying me.

So am I and I'm getting more selfish as I go. And I'm getting more out of therapy than I used to -- back in the days when I listened to a therapist telling me how he had purchased a half-dozen "fixer upper" trailers to move to North Dakota during the heydays of the oil boom in order to "make a ton of money."

No, I'm not making this up, and I sat through an entire session of this guy detailing his get-rich-quick scheme.

Yes, I have trouble acting in my own best interest sometimes.

Oh, back on topic. Your T's MH issues are not a great therapy subject for YOU.

[toomanycats]

Mine does not, but, to be fair, I really really don't want him to.

[annielovesbacon]

My T has never disclosed anything like that to me, and I wouldn't want her to unless it was directly helpful to me. I'm trying to think of an example where that would be helpful and I'm coming up short.
For those who have answered that their Ts have self-disclosed, and it helped you, how/why?