[nottrustin]

Something has been really bugging me hoping you all could help me think it through. About a week and a half ago I was really struggling after 2 back to back T and EMDR appointments. Some of my thoughts scared me. I NEVER call T in fact I have 2xs in 10 years as I don't want to disturb here. Both those times were an emergency. I sent her an email telling here I was struggling and asked if we could talk on the phone. She emailed me back saying that she understands that I am struggling but that it could quite possibly make thing worse and that I should teach out to my other support system people. And asked If EMDR T and I discussed how I should handle the emotions after an apointment. She thought I wanted to further discuss the topic I had discusses in both my appointments. That was totally not what I wanted. I wanted to talk about the horrific thoughts. Not something I could tell friends or hubby. Nor something I wanted to put in an email. So we ended the emails with we would discuss everything at my next appointment . I was upset because I thought since I never call her it was important. At our next appointment we discussed all the coping skills I had tried before and after reaching out to her. I also told her what had happened and the thoughts and the severity. She obviously knew I was in a horribly painful place. At the end of the session ahe dis the normal "Will you safe to drive home, what are you plans for the night" type stuff. I told her I would be safe.

On occasion she reached out through email the day after a hard session. It has been a couple of days...nothing. I am so mad and hurt right now. My mood has tanked becase of a my Ptsd being triggered. I have these horrible harmful thoughts and I am on my own. She has always been there to guide me through this. I could email her I suppose like I always do when I am struggling. But feel like a huge bother and it would be inappropriate.

Feeling like EMDR may be the worst decision of my life.

[MoxieDoxie]

Im in the same boat with EMDR. I think I might have made a mistakes since I can not even reach out to any T between sessions and I am having a hard time coping in between. Obviously I do manage to cope but my days are very emotionally painful.

[nottrustin]

Everything I read about Emdr said it is hard work but would be faster and more productive. I wish I knew how painful and triggering it was. My beat friend only should hear so much about it and my husband get a so angry when I talk about my pain and wants to kill my abuser. He never would but I can't help all that he is going through if I am falling apart.

I realize I need to go back to the days where I internalized all my pain and not depend on anybody and work harder on hiding my pain

[maybeblue]

I think you should email her and tell her how bad you are feeling and that part of that is because you feel abandoned by her. You have a long relationship, so it would be hard to throw that away and go with someone different. But at the same time I think if you let this fester and aren't direct with her you are going to feel worse. Maybe see if it is possible for you to move up your next session if she isn't willing to talk on the phone?

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by maybeblue

I think you should email her and tell her how bad you are feeling and that part of that is because you feel abandoned by her. You have a long relationship, so it would be hard to throw that away and go with someone different. But at the same time I think if you let this fester and aren't direct with her you are going to feel worse. Maybe see if it is possible for you to move up your next session if she isn't willing to talk on the phone?

Thank you for your reply. I have about reaching out but right now I just can't deal with the possibility of being rejected. She o my sees people twice a week and I already have an appointment on her next day. Then the next day I have EMDR. .ore than anything I think O need to have a break from therapy

[Amyjay]

It sounds like you really aren't coping with all the stuff that is being brought up and the containment skills you do have are not able to do their job. it would be really good if you are able to share that info with your EMDR at the beginning of your next appointment. It's a sure sign that you need to dial back the reprocessing phase and return to resource building.
Any time the triggered stuff is greater than the ability to contain it its time to go back and work on resourcing again. Stop moving forward with the reprocessing. it sounds like your not ready. Its not supposed to be this hard and it can be changed.

[nottrustin]

We stopped reprossing a couple of weeks ago for this very reason.