Being heard by T

Even though I know my T genuinely wants the best for me and is trying hard to understand what I’m saying, I have trouble saying what I want to say. It feels like something is pushing on me when I try to say something important and it won’t come out. And when I start to explain things that are hard to word together, I get stuck halfway and leave my T VERY confused because I don’t make sense anymore. She takes what I say and interprets it but it’s usually wrong because I wasn’t able to say what I wanted to.
I’ve tried writing things down but my body can’t move to give it to her. How can I get over this and explain this block I’m feeling to my T? Maybe if she knew about it she would be more assertive with her questions and what she asks me to do.

I think it would help your t if she knew more about what was happening for you and how you freeze.
Is there anyway you could write it down before you go to session to give to her?
This happens with me sometimes too and t doesn’t know how to bring me out of it, she has tried everything at this stage. She will say she wants to support me but I’d not sure how. Perhaps you could think about what would be most helpful for her to do when this happens with you.

That's a hard one. Do you think you'd be able to initiate giving what you wrote to your T outside of session? There was once something really hard I needed to tell my T, and I wasn't confident I'd be able to go through with handing it over in session. So I drove to her office as soon as I'd written it and left it for her. Another idea is to tell your T that you'll be bringing something for her next session, but you need her to ask about it. Maybe it would be easier to give whatever you wrote to her that way?

I have struggled with the same thing. If your T allows email, I find that is an easy way to share things. Clicking the send button requires less courage than handing over a piece of paper.... plus you don't have to face her when you do it. Then the discussion can go from there during your next session. I have done this several times with my T and it has worked really well.

I think I’ll try to write her something and tell her that I have it so she can ask for it. It’s weird that I need her to ask directly for me to say something even though I know I want to say it, but I guess that’s normal since you all feel the same way. Part of me is scared of saying the wrong thing and hurting her or making her self conscious but I try to remember that this is her job and what she’s trained to do

Can you say it in images? A collage or drawings? Or finding an article that is the same theme as what you want to talk about?

I agree with the email option. Initially I'd write an email and agonize over clicking send for far too long. Now I take a deep breath and hit send.
It helps me express feelings in email. Yesterday I was journaling, processing something from this week's session. In it, I referred to t as "she". I then copied that one paragraph and sent it, with "she" pronoun. And the t did respond that indicated she understood my struggle.
I've also done the writing it down and handing it to her.