[krazibean]

to get T to get back to me? i send her at least 1 email every 2 days, and with the content of some of them, i don't know how she can just read them and ignore it. the VERY first time i sent her an email she called to make sure i was ok. she doesnt do that anymore, i'm lucky if she even writes back. do i have to be in a complete crisis in order to talk to her outside of sessions? i just want to hear her voice. or at least read it...

[Mouse_]

T's are there to support us, but they are not at our beck and call 24/7. They have a personal life also. With time you will be able to get through the times between sessions.

[MissCharlotte]

Hi krazibean,

Maybe you have to establish the rules surrounding e-mail communication with T in session.

If you are sending messages every 2 days maybe she doesn't know when you really need her to call you back.

I don't do email with T. But we do speak on the phone between sessions. However, I have to be clear in my message if I need him to call me and if I am in a crisis or not. Then he knows how urgent my message is and whether I need him to call me right away or not. Sometimes I just need to leave him a message and knowing he heard it gives me comfort.

So, just ask her and I'm sure you two can work this out together.

Yes, Sister was right. You need to ask specific questions like:

If I email you, when/how often can I expect a response?

When I am having a crisis that is not an emergency, how do I convey this to you?

etc. I would also tell your T that you are having a hard time getting through in between sessions and discuss it. Maybe she will have some ideas to help you.

Let us know how it goes! You are in my thoughts.

I'm lucky to have a T who gets back to me ASAP with emails. However, there are days she doesn't get to them until right before leaving. If I need her to get back to me ASAP it is best to call and leave a message indicating so. I have an understanding that she can ONLY reply if her schedule allows. There are times she reads through the emails, but then a client shows up, and she forgets to respond to those she's read. She is only human. To be able to use this communication with her, I had to agree that I understand that if she does not respond I do not take it as ignoring or abandoning.
I think the best thing to do is discuss email with her. She may not know you want a response every single time. She may read it and take it as an FYI - something to know inbetween sessions. You have to be very clear with your needs, and request she be very clear with what your expectations should be.

I'd ask your T.
Convey how you feel when she doesnt respond. Ask if she feels comfortable with you emailing regularly. Ask how she feels you should communicate outside sessions. Sometimes that info can be helpful in understand why Ts act the way they do. Unfortantely often they dont just say I don't want emails.. but actions behind the scenes can convey it.

[Kiya]

maybe at some point you'll "hear her' in your own mind - much like hearing your friends' advice or other people you care about. Then when you need her, you will "hear" what she would probably tell you and it may sound like her voice.

Not that that helps in the moment - but it might later.
kiya

[krazibean]

thanks everyone. i hope she understands