Feeling like a burden

I really relate to this post and feel like such a burden to those around me. The only time I open up to anyone is if I’m drinking, and that definitely isn’t a healthy coping mechanism. Sometimes I just want to see my T for a second to calm me down but I know that isn’t possible

How did it go today????

Eh. Not good, not bad. We didn't discuss depression at all. He didn't ask about struggling or anything so I just figured he must not care. He claims he didn't reply because he had clients last night and it was "too late" once he saw them. He claims I'm not too much. He also told me he can't be my only support and he can't always respond so it's like he made me come off crazy needy.

He was distracted, a DR appointment right after me, so we ended early and then his flight.... hope when he is back he isn't as flakey but idk, it feels like it's ending to me. He's not interested in helping me anymore

I’m sorry. That does sound painful.

I'm really hoping the trip and his 2 weeks classes were hugely a reason why he was so different because if he's the same next week, I can't go on. We are too distant now. I miss him, the old him. The one who made me believe I did matter.

I’m sorry about this painful experience.

DP, is my memory right that he just got a divorce in the last few years? Could he be going through something mid life crisisy, and be absorbed in that? My T was so detached during the holidays, purely bc he loves them - like Boxing Day with his family traditions. He was physically present but not attuned or even misattuned. Are you positive this is about inside your relationship from his perspective, or him getting distracted by his personal life? I am really sorry- these are hard feelings. Where is he going on his trip? Maybe he will settle back to normal after?

He got divorced in sept. I know he's struggling, we kinda "Shared" a lot of our firsts since things changed cuz I lost my dog in OCt. i think that was hugely what bonded us... we would always be like "just remember you're not alone this first thanksgiving without ..." or christmas etc.

he's going out west. just until mon night. he was nice enough to give me the flight info so i could make sure no crashes happened.... but.... it still is very different, its hard to explain but i pick up on things very easy when they are off.

i hope so too... that its more normal after. he was also doing a class for the last 2 weeks for 8 hrs a day... so i get that. i just wish he would have at least replied to a text or something. not just leave me hanging, knowing how i am and how i get. i feel like I'm losing him.