Survivors of Unethical Therapy

Omg, it's only been 3 yrs.. so I got 7 to go? Aaargghhhh.. ha

I feel exactly like that and am like 'was it just me'?

I feel the hardest cases arent always just blatant sexual cases.... But therapists who want to be good but haven't gotten over their own issues and make poor choices

Awesome idea, I didn't realise how vulnerable I was in therapy.... People need to know what's ethical

I keep wanting to contact my former t that sexually abused and exploited me and I just want to ask him like....... do u acknowledge what happened ? Cause he never did in the Board case or the lawsuit.

Like I just need to know if he can even admit it even now 10 yrs latwr

What was the result of lawsuit?

And sorry to hear that ☹️

I received a settlement that went into a trust and had to sign a contract abt not talking abt what happened with him or use his name unless it's with a mental health professional

Quote:

Originally Posted by Client xx Awesome idea, I didn't realise how vulnerable I was in therapy.... People need to know what's ethical

This is such an amazing, ongoing thread. Every now and then I feel the need to add my 2 cents.

The thing is, about, say, making a pamphlet available in all the offices, etc - I am not sure how a neophyte CAN be prepared for the fraught minefield that is therapy. Personally when I started out I had no clue. I just thought that I would go to the appointments, pay, and then one day magically be cured.

I had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA of the effort that would be required from me personally, or the many many things that could go wrong, or how much this very one-sided, intense relationship could mess with my already very troubled mind. I thought they were supposed to help me, and that was it.

You can try to warn people, but I'm not sure that anything short of the actual experience can show you the desperate intensity of the whole thing. Probably the best you can do is try to prepare people to have reasonable expectations, if that is possible.......

This ^^

How we can we do better in communicating this? It's apparently hard for people to accept, believe, understand, or think it's relevant to them if they haven't been through it.

And then, when things do go wrong -- what can people do about that? Individual clients themselves or maybe peer-support groups?

Feeling really depressed and defeated.

I feel like my current T helped me see how unethical my previous therapist was and supported me as I made a complaint.

Now I feel she's almost down playing what happened as I come to realise how damaging it was.

I don't get it.

If she doesn't believe how bad it was, then how will the board

I actually think the complaint process is in some ways just as devastating as bad therapy.

No wonder why so many crimes so unreported....

I am just going to let him worm his way out out of the wrong things he did, and pray that no one else gets hurt at his inability to sort his own damn issues.

You have done what you could do.

Your T supported you in doing that.

She bore witness -- somewhat, perhaps? -- to what happened to you.

For me, the devastation is/was real. Seeing/feeling that continues to be a struggle.

And then, what? I am devastated to my core, and then what? How and where and for what to move on, to grow, to . . .

Is it possible that something like that may be where your T is coming from? That she wants to try to help you get "past" this or something? They try but they don't know how bad and disabling it is because it hasn't happened to them.

It HAS happened to some others of us, though. And I support your attempt to get the word out. Eventually. . .well, I continue to have some hope. Who knows how long it will take.

Yes, and one thing they're very fond of telling us is that we must "get over it" and "move on". For some reason when I hear that it makes me very very angry

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mopey Yes, and one thing they're very fond of telling us is that we must "get over it" and "move on". For some reason when I hear that it makes me very very angry

I find it ironic and funny in a sick way. A therapist telling you to move on and get over it yet their entire livelihood rests on people
That can’t get over it or move on.

Thanks guys,

Yes she wants me to move on for sure and not stay stuck talking about it.

But how can I move on?

It has been 6 months since the complaint was filed and NO response from provider.

He was suppose to reply by January 20th then there were all these 'delays'. Both from the HDC and from the provider. Then finally they are blaming the virus. So incredibly frustrating

The process, itself, is slow enough. Then the other side infamously initiates delaying tactics....such as returned official documents, insufficient or non existing addresses, lies, feigned illness, rescheduling, deceit, delay, delay.

The other side wants to wear us out and hopes we will quit.

I think you are so right pre,

I think he was hoping I would change my mind. Maybe I am just angry and will eventually calm down.

Probably playing the victim card. Poor t, tried so hard to help this dependant needy client and this is what he gets.....

You might not even realize how bad and damaging it was/is while you are in the middle of the complaint(s).

I sure didn’t. We gain perspective as distance & time goes by..when we continue to have nightmares or dreams about them..when we find it difficult or impossible to feel almost ok -possibly, maybe, consulting a subsequent mental health care giver.....when TV programs give us flash backs, when we see the offender’s name in the news, or we see articles reporting on his success at chess, becoming a Master Gardener, or his bridge scores.

It took twenty years for me to think to ask, ‘What do I call the sexual assault that happened to me?’ ...It took twenty years for me to put together fragments of pieces of unanswered questions about why he did this or that....to gain some understanding. Some things I’ll never know.
It took years for me to find my anger.

We were exploited or harmed ...and we file a complaint..and some T’s think we should get over it? ‘Recovery’ or normalcy, or whatever, isn’t done until it’s done. Sometimes it’s never done.

Sending warm hugs to all of those who have been harmed in therapy. You are not alone.

HD7970ghz