[anushka]

Hii... I have un-ADHD...whenever i make a decision and plan to bring about any change, be it studies or meditate or anything, i lose focus after 2days. I can never stick to my own-set datelines. I desperately need some one who will 'push' me for studies or any other changes.... That's how i do my best. But whenever i get no one to hold me accountable, i underperform badly. This totally takes my self confidence away and in turn makes me even more unproductive and highly depressed. This cycle is running for a long time.

I thought of personal coach but found them very costly. So i thought i will ask my therapist to hold me accountable. Previously we just had few normal sessions where she heard my problems and gave some solutions. But again, i cant follow them for more than 2days. So what's the use? Instead, this time i thought i will tell her about the accountability thing. To push me as required.

I was looking for opinions. Do you think this might help? Do you think its okay to ask a therapist about accountability? Or is it just a stupid idea?

[unaluna]

I cant even last two days, now that im retired. I used to be great at work, or in school, but now im just burnt out.

But i always needed a deadline to get stuff done outside of work. Like, the house didnt get cleaned unlesz company was coming, stuff like that.

I would suggest, from my own experience, fear of commitment, fear of failure, fear of success. How devoted do you feel to your goals? Wishy-washy, or would you die for them? Working towards a goal you love seems like a luxury to people who just have to work for a living and are pushed to get a job and become independent of parents asap.

[LabRat27]

A therapist is probably going to want to help you learn how to be accountable to yourself, not hold you accountable.

[fille_folle]

A therapist's job is not to hold you accountable. If someone else knowing and checking in with you about goals would help you follow through, a therapist might help. If you are really looking for someone to hold you accountable, though, I don't think a therapist will offer that. For example, when I think of being accountable to someone, that means that I would owe the person something and that they could enforce consequences on my life. No ethical therapist operates that way. On the other hand, telling my therapist I haven't been doing something I ought does tend to indirectly encourage me to follow through because I want to be able to tell my therapist I've done better if she asks about it later.

[anushka]

Originally Posted by unaluna

I cant even last two days, now that im retired. I used to be great at work, or in school, but now im just burnt out.

But i always needed a deadline to get stuff done outside of work. Like, the house didnt get cleaned unlesz company was coming, stuff like that.

I would suggest, from my own experience, fear of commitment, fear of failure, fear of success. How devoted do you feel to your goals? Wishy-washy, or would you die for them? Working towards a goal you love seems like a luxury to people who just have to work for a living and are pushed to get a job and become independent of parents asap.

You are right. I dont at all love my goal, its just that i have to do it to earn a living and to have a good future. That's why its even more difficult to stick to own-set datelines. Leaves me very depressed all the time.

[anushka]

Originally Posted by fille_folle

A therapist's job is not to hold you accountable. If someone else knowing and checking in with you about goals would help you follow through, a therapist might help. If you are really looking for someone to hold you accountable, though, I don't think a therapist will offer that. For example, when I think of being accountable to someone, that means that I would owe the person something and that they could enforce consequences on my life. No ethical therapist operates that way. On the other hand, telling my therapist I haven't been doing something I ought does tend to indirectly encourage me to follow through because I want to be able to tell my therapist I've done better if she asks about it later.

Yes that indirect encouragement is what i am looking for. Otherwise there's really no one who bothers and i feel totally trapped with my adhd brain, planing and failing all the time. Atleast if i feel there's some one who's gonna ask me about my progress, then atleast i wont be entirely trapped inside my own adhd head all the time.

[anushka]

Originally Posted by LabRat27

A therapist is probably going to want to help you learn how to be accountable to yourself, not hold you accountable.

Yes you are right too. What i thought is that, let me start with this accountability process. Once i gain a little momentum, i can increase the gap of accountability check ins.... And try bit by bit to set my own goals and achieve.

[stopdog]

I know of therapists who are willing to help clients like what OP wants. IT would not be for me, but I don't see it as an unreasonable thing to ask them for

[anushka]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I know of therapists who are willing to help clients like what OP wants. IT would not be for me, but I don't see it as an unreasonable thing to ask them for

Hii... Thanks a lott for supporting me... This is what i too felt... Everybody's requirement is different. I work best under such accountability be it for any goal. So even if i want to manage adhd, i first have to start somewhere. Simply getting advices was not helping at all. So i thought of this method.

[Pennster]

Have you ever heard of accountability partners, anushka? That sounds similar to what you need, and I imagine a lot of therapists would be up for helping in this way.

You could, say, set a goal for next week, and agree to check in on your progress at the next session. Or you might agree that you will email every day to outline your progress on something. I don’t see why this would be any less acceptable than any other use of a therapist - I think it could be a very positive way of keeping yourself on track.

When I did attachment therapy I used my therapist in the way OP wants help. The therapist was willing to do it. I checked in every morning until things started getting better.

Good luck to you anushka.