Complicated Situation

I'm so sorry about all this MRT. This is just awful. I feel so angry on your behalf.

I'm going to get a reputation here for being that annoying person who recommends supplements , but valerian root extract is a non-prescription sedative. Realllly strong chamomile tea or chamomile tincture and kava kava are also helpful, as is melatonin (because it makes you sleepy -- but the downside is it makes you sleepy). If you have time to experiment, maybe something will make this just a little easier for you. If you decide to try valerian, look for coated tablets if you can find them (that stuff smells absolutely awful). The best of luck to you.

They can basically do what they want, but they do have to follow their own rules. There's a student handbook or other document they must have given you when you reapplied (or whatever procedure let to this "proposal")? Read it thoroughly and make sure those rules authorize what they are asking you to do and the timeline for doing it.

You'd be surprised how often academic types break their own rules, even at a law school I worked at once, where the Dean of the law school tried to discipline a student for b.s. and completely ignored the required process, instead preferring to let her twist in the wind rather than respond within the timing required.

Can you have someone accompany you at least to the appointment? Can you use any other strategies to minimize the anxiety besides a Benz/benadryl? Music? Scents?

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this!!!

LOL Unaluna.

Before I was laid off from a hospital in August of 2017, part of my job was doing "instant" drug testing for commonly abused substances. I agree with Anne2.0. You can do this. Here's my recommendation: Drink LOTS of coffee beforehand and go in with a full bladder. Walk in the bathroom and go quickly...like immediately, if you can. Waiting just prolongs the agony. If you need to, ask for more water to drink before you go in. The person observing you isn't enjoying him/herself at your expense...it's just a job.

As said in so many words before...academic institutions live in their own worlds.

If they have been hassling you constantly, it may be possible they are trying to push you out. This isn't uncommon in schools or businesses. I quit my last job after being asked to trump up charges on an employee in order to fire him. It is all about CYA with healthcare now. If you step out of line, life becomes hell until you quit.

I'm not saying this is your situation. But I would suggest documenting everything and talking to some sort of legal advocate.

Keep your head up and prove them all wrong. You can get through this. Just think of how much you have conquered.

And to the point above, I had to take tests as part of an anxiety IOP, they just made me empty my pockets, and stood by the door. Not over my shoulder.