[stopdog]

Do you consider the therapist to be authentic? Does it matter to you one way or the other?

I said "Yes - I need to believe a therapist is authentic with me". I've done a lot of thinking about this too after the most recent little rupture around her reaction to me trying to cancel 2 sessions due to $ concerns. (And I don't meant to start talking about that again, it's just as a reference point.) But she gave me her honest reaction. And that's what I WANT from her nowadays. It's more helpful for me even when I get angry - I have noticed after we talked that last one out - that I've been able to navigate a couple of arguments with h more easily and without tears after 'practicing' with her. How about that!!

[unaluna]

I get glimpses of authenticity. Sometimes of the real person, sometimes of the husband-persona, the dad, the t, the kid - he's a lot of different people.

[stopdog]

The second one talked about how people are free to be their real self at a therapy appointment and that it was important for a therapist to be authentic. I have no idea why someone would feel realer at a therapy appointment than anywhere else. I did not realize people felt not real in most of their life. And I have no idea why a therapist would think of their therapist persona as authentic or why a client would care.
Baffling as all get out to me.

[here today]

I voted other.

I believed, until I finally woke up to the reality of my experiences with them, that they were authentic. I needed to believe they were authentic because that was a value they espoused to me, as something I "should" be in order to achieve good mental (and social) health and that implied, to me, that that was something they aspired to themselves and, in fact, were. Otherwise it would be a big lie, a deception, and why would I go to therapy under those circumstances?

Have I mentioned before on here that I was, and in some ways still am, socially blind and/or backward, with "gut feelings" and instincts numbed out, and that was a condition that I had when I went into therapy. I did not feel able to be my real self in interactions with other people in my real life, except with my late husband.

Therapy hasn't really helped with that and may have hurt because I started using my "authentic" voice in places and situations where I didn't have a clue how it would make things worse. Which led to additional stress for my mental health to try to deal with.

[growlycat]

I know a pollster’s lot is not an easy one. But I do not care for the wording around the “yes” answer. Why not “I believe my therapist is authentic”. I picked other because he is “mostly authentic”. I’ve caught him in white lies on rare occasions.

[stopdog]

There are options for just plain "yes" and one for "other" if the wordier options are not to your liking. Also one need not participate if one is overly put out by the poll.
The pollster's lot is not an easy one indeed.

And I worded it the way I did because the second therapist who just retired put it as "clients need to believe their therapist is authentic" and would have thought that was untrue. It seems as thought my guess on how people see it was not correct.

[growlycat]

I missed it at the bottom. Oops. Still, a mostly yes from me.

[WarmFuzzySocks]

I voted yes, I need to believe it.

I believe that my therapist also feels as real or authentic in my (and probably others') therapy appointments as she does anywhere else. She is her authentic self in her role as a therapist.

It's not different than me being my real professional self at work and my real parent self with my kids and my real friend self with my friends. I'm always authentically who I am, even if the ways I express it varies slightly (and appropriately, I think) according to the situation and relationship.

[SalingerEsme]

This one is a sticking point for me. I really need to believe my T is authentic.

I said some. We had a conversation about authenticity recently. I questioned his when he said he liked me, especially after the catastrophe that was Valentine's Day. What I needed from him was to admit that he'd experienced negative countertransference toward me, which he did.

Yet there are other times where he may have an authentic reaction that I don't want or need to hear. I guess for me it's dependent on what is actually therapeutic. For reference I said some. Authenticity can help, but it sometimes may be inert or harmful.

[downandlonely]

I've never really thought about it, but I hope that they would be honest with me.

[BonnieJean]

Originally Posted by growlycat

I missed it at the bottom. Oops. Still, a mostly yes from me.

I missed it, too.

[Wonderfalls]

I'll never understand the point of a poll on a site like this. If people just responded to a check-off option without adding more, it would be pretty boring (and not exactly scientific). If people are going to discuss their experiences, situations, and beliefs about a topic--which are the responses that make the topic useful--then why bother with a poll to start with?

I am not even sure that I understand what 'authentic' means in a therapeutic context. Reason no.134 that I need to explore my lack of trust in relationships.

[nottrustin]

Yes, I do believe they are authentic. If I did not believe they were, I would not see them. I have been seeing T for so long and once in a while I have question if something she said is really how she feels or what she is suppose to say. Every time she has reassured me she would never say something she didn't truly believe. I have learned that I can trust her word so I believe her.

I need my T to be real with me. I don't care if she has a negative reaction or a positive. I need authenticity and I need to know where I stand and how I come across to people. It also helps me to see that she is a real flawed human. She makes mistakes and questions herself, just like I do and she freely admits her downfalls as a human and a therapist. I have mad respect for that.

[velcro003]

Oops, I answered "Yes, I need to believe..." but I missed the "need" part when I read it. haha. My current T is more "authentic" (and I am reading that as more 'herself' as a person vs a therapist) than my last one, and I am more connected to this T, and I think she is helping me more. I am not sure if it is that, or the fact that her personality is just more laid back and down to earth, or if it is all jumbled under the "authentic" umbrella.

I don't have a criteria where I want my T to be authentic, hence I don't "need" to believe it for therapy to work. I think maybe it has helped? I honestly don't know.

[stopdog]

I mostly pay them to stay back. I'm not looking for a therapist to be human or real in the time I pay them for. I know they are not better at being humans than anyone else is and some are decidedly worse.

If I feel someone isn't being authentic than that triggers a warning signal in my brain and I pull way back, so it is really important to me that my therapist acts authentic or genuine. If they're phony I won't be able to relax at all.

That isn't to say that during our sessions I expect them to act the same as they would outside of work, because I know they're a different person when not playing therapist. But when I see them struggling to hold back tears at a traumatic memory I share, or they can't stop laughing at a joke, or their voice has a hint of frustration when something isn't working out, those all help to build up my trust towards them.

When they are being real in those moments, it makes me feel like I can be real in turn and try to be more open.

Originally Posted by stopdog

I mostly pay them to stay back. I'm not looking for a therapist to be human or real in the time I pay them for. I know they are not better at being humans than anyone else is and some are decidedly worse.

I have seen you say similar as part of other discussions here. I am interested to know why you specifically hire a therapist since you don't find use for their skills or approaches. If you need someone to stay back, wouldn't many other people (and presumably those much cheaper than a therapist) do the job? This is a genuine question.

[healinginprogress]

I need to believe that my T is authentic and I do believe that she is authentic... mostly. I don't believe that everyone can always be authentic. In this case I'm equating authentic with truthfulness although I do recognize they are different.

::shrug:: That's part of my trauma history though, too.

No. I want the plastic, professional front.

[autonoe]

My therapist promised from the beginning to be authentic, and he has been. He's consistent in his personality and approach, and I'm happy with that.

[LostOnTheTrail]

Authenticity and caring are vitally important to me in my relationship with my therapist. She knows this - in our most recent session, she acknowledged that if I get the slightest sense of discomfort from her I will retreat back into my shell.