seeing t for free?

junkDNA · Apr 28, 2018, 08:08 AM

so most of you know my story with what happened with my former t. for those that don't a basic synopsis is that we

Possible trigger:

engaged in a sexual relationship that has been deemed abusive by my States board of psychology. after I reported him and was investigated they revoked his license permanently

I was basically pressure to file a civil lawsuit. it was civil because what happened is NOT illegal in my state... although it is in some States

the civil lawsuit went on for almost 2 years and was settled during a mediation in November 2012

thru the settlement I was given $115,000. but a third of that went to health insurance leins and a third went to my attorney (she could have taken most of it but didn't)

so I got a third of that amount. that money went into a special kind of trust fund for people on disability. that meant the money was regulated by this trust and I had to request for them to pay for things. it wasn't like a regular trust where I could go to an atm and pull money out. my attorney and t set this up because thy knew I would blow it. it paid for my subsequent treatment for healing me from the trauma of my former t

this trust was how I have been paying my current therapist. I found out yesterday that the trust has been depleted. there's no more money in it. t has seen me on a sliding scale this whole time in which I pay $25 for a session

I contacted t about the trust being at $0.00.

I'm worried t won't continue to see me. I am up for a promotion at work to full time... so I could probably pay him myself when that happens. but it's still all up in the air.

t has charged me as low as $12.50 a session 4 years ago when he first started his private practice. t has said before that he thinks it's better if I pay some amount for my therapy in order to make me feel responsible for my recovery. he said he thinks it's valuable because it provides an incentive to actually work in therapy and not go there n **** around and play games etc

I agree with t on that. he even suggested donating to a charity every month rather than paying him. so I know t is not so much concern about the monetary aspects in regards to him being paid

however I feel bad for asking t to see me for free during this time. t knows about my financial struggles. it's also hard to talk about the money aspect in my therapy. t admitted it is an awkward conversation for him as well

my overall worry is that t will not see me until I can pay him. as it stands right now I don't even have my regular time this week (Wednesdays at 1300)because I opened up my availibility for my job so I can be full Time. like I said I've contacted t about the trust fund and also the scheduling issue

t hasn't responded but it's Saturday (t does not work on Saturdays).) he's definitely texted me outside his work hours before tho. it's also not been that long since I texted him

but now I have this huge anxiety about the situation

this is mostly a thread for me to process all this information and hopefully put it outside my mind

thank you for reading my novella lol seeing t for free?

ruh roh · Apr 28, 2018, 08:19 AM

It's good that you're finding ways to let this go until you hear back. He has always come through one way or another before.

skeksi · Apr 28, 2018, 08:20 AM

My guess would be that he will work with you to find an amount you can afford, which might increase if you get a raise or promotion.

I think it is very unlikely that he would suggest you stop treatment completely.

SeekerSeeking · Apr 28, 2018, 08:22 AM

You are right--it's Saturday and he may be deeply engaged in a...workshop or something.... Do you have any healthy coping mechanisms for your anxiety? For me, I do something new to distract me...like visit an art museum or trying a new thrift store--I try and create a happy memory during the anxious time.

Hope you have some to fall back on...and here are some magic words..."It will be alright."

Hoping with you!

Apr 28, 2018, 08:35 AM

I would consider telling him everything you said here. Can you ask him if you can temporarily reduce payments pending full time work status? Maybe he van go $25 to $5.

Or how about asking for a donation from the Psych Central fund? I'll pitch in a bit.

It sounds like you got peanuts from your lawsuit, sorry to hear.

junkDNA · Apr 28, 2018, 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rayne_

I would consider telling him everything you said here. Can you ask him if you can temporarily reduce payments pending full time work status? Maybe he van go $25 to $5.

Or how about asking for a donation from the Psych Central fund? I'll pitch in a bit.

It sounds like you got peanuts from your lawsuit, sorry to hear.

yes the lawsuit was a low amount. basically because his malpractice insurance had a clause that they don't pay out for any sexual misconduct. my attorney found a loophole around that. I don't know much about all that honestly... but yeah I got small potatoes for what happened. I see people getting million dollar settlements for some things!!!

whatever tho it was never about the money to me. I never even really felt that it was MY money

Apr 28, 2018, 08:39 AM

I found the link to the PC community grant fund guidelines!

https://forums.psychcentral.com/rule...ml#post5701551

junkDNA · Apr 28, 2018, 09:07 AM

thank you but I don't want people to think I'm asking them for money cause I'm not

Apr 28, 2018, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

thank you but I don't want people to think I'm asking them for money cause I'm not

I know you weren't asking. It's just something that popped in my mind as an option.

precaryous · 11:16 AM

I know it wasn’t about the money but I feel angry about the small compensation compared to what the perp put you through...plus everyone has a lien on the award except the survivor!
And I bet the perp wasnt arrested even though he committed repeated felonies!

Your current T loves you and I have faith you two will come to some sort of an agreement.

toomanycats · Apr 28, 2018, 08:38 PM

I have all the faith in the world that your T is going to find a way to work with you on this. All the faith.
HUGS

fille_folle · Apr 28, 2018, 11:13 PM

Wow, I can understand why this situation provokes anxiety. With my longtime therapist (whom I moved away from for school last Fall), I also saw her at a reduced rate or for free during the majority of the time I saw her. I had a very good relationship with her, and I think you also have a very good relationship with your T. In this case, what I mean by "good relationship" is that I believe that you are both invested and you guys will find a solution that works for both of you. I understand that it's hard not to worry, but do try to have faith in the relationship you have built with your T and that something can be worked out.

atisketatasket · Apr 28, 2018, 11:16 PM

jDNA—if you’re going full-time aren’t they required to offer you health insurance? Would that provide any coverage/reimbursement?

Anne2.0 · Apr 29, 2018, 06:53 AM

I would have liked to see you be awarded a larger settlement too, and I'll reserve my comments about the ethics of lawyers who take cases on contingency fees. I think your lawyer was well compensated. At least the predator therapist was stopped from ever working again. I hope he operates the fry basket at a fast food joint now, or maybe works for the highway department cleaning up the roads. I wish you hadn't had to exercise your legal rights at all.

My advice for any negotiation is to have a plan or a proposal. To think about what you can afford if your incomes stays where it is and what you can afford if you get full time work. And then offer that to T and see what he says. To me, I'd be more willing to adjust my fees (and in my line of work, I often do) if the person does the work to make a suggestion and also has a rationale. Not saying this is what you are doing, but when someone just says the payment stream is ending and lands it in my lap without more, then I feel like I have to take the responsibility to initiate the negotiation. That feels like to me, "I can't pay, whatcha gonna do about it?" I'd rather the other party take the initiative to begin a discussion.

LonesomeTonight · Apr 29, 2018, 07:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

jDNA—if you’re going full-time aren’t they required to offer you health insurance? Would that provide any coverage/reimbursement?

That's a good point. And even if your T is out of network, you might get some sort of out-of-network coverage (I have that--my T doesn't take insurance). I'm sure either way, your T will be willing to work something out with you. Even if it's a case where you pay him when you can.

junkDNA · Apr 29, 2018, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

jDNA—if you’re going full-time aren’t they required to offer you health insurance? Would that provide any coverage/reimbursement?

yes I forgot about that. I'm just so used to T not being able to take my insurance because it is Medicaid and medicare

my goal is to go full time and get off of disability

junkDNA · Apr 29, 2018, 10:21 AM

t texted back that he doesn't have time on Sunday this week but is going to try to find a regular Sunday time. because my store is closed every Sunday

t also said we can meet Tuesday at 1100 this week

I'm glad we are able to meet.

lilypeppermint · Apr 29, 2018, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

yes I forgot about that. I'm just so used to T not being able to take my insurance because it is Medicaid and medicare

my goal is to go full time and get off of disability

Sorry for the stupid question from a non US person but why can’t a T take Medicaid?

junkDNA · Apr 29, 2018, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilypeppermint

Sorry for the stupid question from a non US person but why can’t a T take Medicaid?

Medicaid and medicare have very strick criteria for a psycho therapist to qualify to use that Insurance. you can find therapists that do but it's not that common. my t does not fit their criteria. also even if he did they would only pay for 12 sessions a year

junkDNA · Apr 29, 2018, 11:36 AM

strict*****

LonesomeTonight · Apr 29, 2018, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilypeppermint

Sorry for the stupid question from a non US person but why can’t a T take Medicaid?

Not jDNA, but many therapists choose not to take Medicaid/Medicare or any insurance for various reasons. It can create lots of paperwork for them, and then they have to wait to get reimbursed. Plus they often get paid less than what they could charge, since insurance sets limits on payment. Like, they might only reimburse, say, $80 for a 50-minute session, even if the T bills $150 (it's the same for non-mental health medical care as well--the amount I'd pay for a doctor's visit out of pocket would generally be much more than what insurance pays them).

My T doesn't take insurance (but I get partial reimbursement from insurance--60%--because I have out-of-network benefits, but have to submit the claims myself). He says it's because then insurance can dictate your care, like say you can only come in for so many sessions or with a certain frequency. This way, he and his clients get to determine treatment plans and frequency. Most of the therapists in my area, from what I can tell when I was looking for a new one (current one) on Psychology Today, don't take insurance (or presumably Medicaid/Medicare).

junkDNA · Apr 30, 2018, 11:46 AM

seeing t tomorrow

got a lot to talk about!!!!

glad he found a time for us

he's gonna try to find a regular time for Sundays

feeling good today. I hope it lasts.