Not sure what to make of this

I agree that you need to leave this T, but I also get your concerns about the letter. Could you maybe take a break from her while you check out other T's, with the option to come back in August if you can't seem to get a T who will write you a letter? Or...is it possible she could just write the letter for you now, then you can go find another T? (Or does it have to be a T who's treating you at the time you have the surgery?)

Are you sure that she will even write the letter? She doesn't sound at all trustworthy. I would be concerned that she said yes only as a way to keep you coming back and reprogram you into her version of normal, which is a pretty effed up version if her friend is any kind of gauge.

Someone like your therapist should not be practicing. I can't wrap my mind around what she is doing. She is condoning abuse, plain and simple. I'd run away from her as fast as I could. It's too bad she cannot be disciplined for what she is doing. It's really worth to spend some time trying to find a better therapist who'd write you the letter then to stay in this abusive relationship with her. Yes, I consider what she is doing to you abusive. If you leave sessions feeling bad about yourself, you are being emotionally abused.

So sorry this is late! I haven't been on here in a bit because of life circumstances.
Time for another update:
I told her that I can't keep coming there because it's too expensive and I can just look for another place that takes my insurance. My only problem is that I don't know how long I have to be seeing a therapist before they can write the letter for me. Her response was: "I'll ask for a fee readjustment and if we have to see each other for a longer amount of time, we can until you switch over to another place." I asked about the letter and she said, "How do you feel about needing a letter?" I said that it sucked to have to prove my identity, but I understood that doctors want people to be sure of what they want. She said, "And doctors have families and they need to be protected, too." So, once again, I had to consider other people's feelings and I didn't get a yes or no. My friend goes to a place that takes my insurance and they're trans and trauma friendly. I'm going to call them and call the hospital where my consultation is and ask for specifics. I can't take that anymore. If I have to wait longer, then so be it. But I need a safe space. Plus my mom is pissed off so she's urging me to see another person. My mom is so protective. I love her! >///< I think, in this case, quality is better than quantity.


Thanks a lot, Quiet Mind. Your friend hit the jackpot. I'm going to look into that center I'm interested in to see if they have therapists that are LGBTQ affirming and trauma friendly. My friend is also trans and he goes there and loves it. I thought I was lucky when I found this therapist because she's also queer but I guess I was wrong. And I also feel very uncomfortable with the fact that she is okay with her friend beating her child if he shows a hint of masculinity. After I said, "She beats her son?" She said, "Not beats, just jostles him around." I think she was trying to cover up what she said. =/


No need to apologize at all! It is very validating. I wish I could be in your class. It would have been great to have an accepting class like that growing up. My T is a cisfemale, so I guess she still has some things to learn. We're always learning and it never stops, but it seems like she has a ways to go. And you're right. Being in therapy is a very vulnerable thing. It's supposed to be a safe space. If I'm leaving all of the time feeling horrible, then it's doing more harm than good.


I agree. I don't think she's a good fit for me. Maybe other people may like her approach but I don't. I don't like it when people push the "forgiveness". My old therapist said I didn't need to forgive my grandma, and the sessions were about me. We went at my own pace and she was very sweet. She didn't get some stuff, but the empathy was there. I wish she didn't leave the counseling center.


That's the question I'm going to ask the hospital, if it has to be a T that's treating me at the time of the surgery, and also how long I have to be seeing that T. I called the hospital and they said they will get back to me and, once I get an answer, I'll take it from there. Your suggestion is a really good one. I'll keep that in the back of my mind. Thank you!


That's now a concern of mine. She's not being forward with me. She's already trying to keep me there. She doesn't listen to what I have to say and I'm tired of that. =/


You're right. I started looking into another place that takes my insurance and it has a good reputation. My friend goes there and loves it. I can't condone her behavior anymore and it's like everything I say gets pushed to the side. I don't get why my mental health has to revolve around other people...