I dont want to feel better

things in life have significantly improved. spring, circumstances etc but I find myself not wanting to get better. I feel more connected with the t when I'm unwell, depressed, sad and feeling sorry for myself. I worry that there is nothing stopping me from a fullfilling, happy life. I like the sympathy...
any thoughts?

You don't have to be unwell to deserve empathy and care.

Talk to them about your issue... they will probably understand and maybe have some good advice for you

Many people feel exactly the same, you're definitely not alone. I'm sure if you talk to your T he'll help you and reassure you.

Bring it up with your T. It's a hard thing to admit but worth it if you really want to get better and work past it. I have a fear that getting better will lead to abandonment.... its an issue we are both aware of now and she has been really good about helping me navigate those feelings.

I want T to be proud of me and to do that is to accomplish things in life and in therapy. So that means getting better and I have.

I can imagine you like feeling cared for and enjoy the attention. If you get better, your T might expect more from you and stop giving all that caring, and you feel less connected. I can understand why you want to stay unwell. I feel the same, I really crave that feeling of being "babied" by my T! As I've gotten better the "sympathy" has dwindled! However, I'm committed to doing what's best for my well being, to achieve true happiness without depending on my T who won't be around forever. Please take extra good care. I'm cheering for you.

I understand how you are feeling. I worry about getting to better. If I get better and make great strides what happens when I slip? When I get depressed or habe a period of the negative thoughts coming back??

That caring, sympathy thing can be really addicting, can't it? I've felt that too. The problem for me is that when I'm depressed, I'm miserable most of the time--but I only get to talk to my therapist once a week or so. It's gotten so it isn't really worth it. It also feels really good when the therapist says that he or she is impressed with how much better you are doing. And to be honest, it's also a good feeling when you get to the point where you just don't feel as needy anymore.

It is worth bring up with your therapist. Maybe she will agree that it isn't a good idea for her to stop seeing you as soon as you get better.

I completely understand this!!

I was once afraid of getting better. I thought T would leave me. That happened in my past: all my support left me thinking I didn't need them anymore. I talked to T about it. She reassured me that she's not leaving me and not withdrawing the support. And she hasn't, and I've been doing a lot better now.

I feel the exact same way. A lot of me "getting better" is letting go of bad habits. But I am afraid of change. And "getting better" enough to leave my therapist is also a change I am afraid of.

This changes over time. When we look at something it seems immovable. Just keep turning up and change and what we think we want changes just out of sight.

Here's a saying that has helped me for years: "Everything will be OK in the end...if it isn't OK, then it isn't the end."

That may be the best sentence that has ever been posted here.