Couch 167 1/2; Tennis Anyone?

Ive been mixing pb2 into my "wonderslim" chocolate puddings - theyre like jello pudding only you make one serving at a time, with water not milk, and theyre kinda expensive but oh well - and omg its like a reeses. Its the best use ive found for pb2 so far. It really improves the pudding too. I can almost forget about cake!

What i need is a safe that i can open only once a week, and remove just one chocolate wafer from. Maybe once a day, id have to check the weight watchers points. Hmm.

They do have those safes for cookies and things that are on a timer that only open once a day.

I have forgiven the author of my current textbook. The stories in there used as examples are awesome. To stop my brain from thinking too much and my emotions from making me eat, I read chapter 3 and the stories especially the first one really captured my attention and I forgot about the family 'thing' for awhile. Now it is time to go to bed and watch mindless tv until I fall asleep. Or maybe I'll tell t all about it in my head. One of the two. Tomorrow after work I need to read chapter 4 and start on my class and group discussion posts that are due Sunday. Perhaps by keeping myself busy with all the work due 6/3, 6/7 and 6/10 I'll handle this "stuff" on my own by default...


Night couchies.

I kinda thought so. Im gonna look for one. Thanks!

Eta - its called the kitchen safe, or ksafe. Started on shark tank! I found it under "lockbox timer". I didnt get it yet because there is still the problem of getting the items INTO the safe to begin with! I need a little man in there, dispensing one at a time!

Koinonia? That is not a hard word to spell.

Although I would probably be dq’d by starting to spell it “kappa-omicron...”

Deleted - Too personal

I speculate that you have the same problem I did with Madame T. You want a more equal relationship and your T won't allow that. Hence, a permanent and irreconcilable clash of wills, which is not therapeutic.

I could be wrong.

Good luck!
If you find a way out of this, I'd love to read it.

Well, I am up and dressed and ready for my day. C today, then to come home and change and then head to a CVS (not my store) to cover a shift.

I am not hungry right now, but I should probably eat while I am thinking about it. Pop Tart it is. Lol. Then to take my meds (which I really have not been taking as often as I should).

My butt still is sore from the shot on Wednesday. If it is still sore tomorrow I will be concerned. Usually it is not sore at all.

Well, I better eat my Pop Tarts, then take my meds. I have 15 minutes before I have to leave to get C from his dad's, to go to his mom's for the day.

Later couch.

OK, I love the image of the tiny man in the safe dispensing chocolate wafers! I'm picturing a leprechaun for some reason.

morning couchies. so h got home from his long-distance job before i fell asleep last night, so i got up and talked to him, in the same intimately honest way i talk to t, and it did help some, even though he really doesn't understand what I'm struggling with. Just saying the stuff out loud took some of the pressure off or something. I'm still not feeling anything, but... maybe that will come. Oh btw h actually suggested "you should go see your head-woman" (he always calls t something like that) which surprised me knowing his usual attitude about her. I said well, I want to, but I also want to try figuring this out without her at least for now (I'm already scheduled to see her next Thursday). Sometimes I'm too stubborn for my own good. If I had called her earlier in the week she likely would have let me come yesterday after work. Stupid, stubborn Artie.

In other news, I applied for the PTCE (Pharmacy Tech Certification Exam) prep course at work. They offer it a couple times a year, and we have to pass a pre-test to be considered. Just waiting to take that. If I pass and am selected, the course starts at the end of July (after my current writing class is over). And then if I get in and pass the Exam at the end, my company will reimburse the exam fee and certification comes with a $1 an hour raise. I've thought about doing it in past years but never got brave enough. I'm brave enough to go for it now!

Head woman, lol. You're not stupid Art. Good luck with the PTCE.

Speaking of head woman I see mine today and am kind of nervous you'll be upset with me (long story).

Hey LT, shot you a PM to delete my post which you quoted. Sorry, I'm cringing at my post now that I'm calmer. I also don't want to cause hurt with my rant. I wrote it when really emotional with my own baggage.

Deleted my response since it contained your post.

Edited to add: I actually deleted it when I saw you had deleted your post, before even seeing your request to delete mine!

Thank you! Your post was really comforting to me () but I just don't want to potentially cause hurt feelings from my triggered rant

Hey, because I'm still feeling cranky and really bitter...the research says small birth weight and premature birth are associated with higher risk of child abuse.

My therapist is very much like this. I do understand their point. It is setting them up to fail (and by default, therapy) because to keep addressing our issues with what they say or do, it becomes like quicksand, dragging everything into this netherworld of therapy hell. (Everything in moderation--I'm not saying there is no room for questioning.)

An example is that you say she started the session by talking about the relationship, but it was actually you who started it that way by asking why she felt more stuck with you than other clients. She was honest and, in my view, very clear in her reply.

You are very bright and can wield your intellect like an assault weapon when threatened, which she is well aware of, and that makes her have to pick her words very carefully to avoid having therapy get snarled in what therapists do wrong.

From my own experience, I can say that the adversarial relationship is self-fulfilling. It doesn't offer any benefits other than to throw a wrench into the works. I have to ask myself: What can be worse than guaranteeing my own therapy failure by constant questioning and criticism? Answer: I have to face myself. And that's effing scary.

So, you can be smart and right and protect yourself from harm, which is understandable given your previous therapy (and life) experiences, or take a chance and see what happens if you let Piaf be the therapist. I would do the later if I were you because she seems to be a good match for you in the brains department.

I disagree. If a therapist says something but then cannot back it up or explain- it is on them - not the client. The idea that therapy has to be mysterious and opaque is a myth that benefits therapists - not clients.

Can we not turn that session into a Couch discussion, please? I didn’t post with that in mind. Sorry not to specify that.

Ruh roh, I know you are at least partially right. I’m not in a place to hear it right now, but I’ve bookmarked your post to reread when we get closer to next week’s session and I am calmer.

Yes, SD, it is her inability to provide an example specific to her that is one thing that bugs me. Because I’ve actually spent a decent amount of time whenever I criticize other therapists saying that this doesn’t apply to her as far as I’m concerned. Heck, it doesn’t even really apply to Info. I don’t consider either of them to have committed blunders beyond the expected.

There is no need to delete anything.

And now I've got the night of the fire in my head because of recent interactions with neighbors. I feel the humiliation of that night all over again. I need to get out of my head today.

Keebler elf.

Hey, I have a lot of humiliation about some of my abuse memories too. Like me begging for mercy.

Hugs if you want them. If you can, try to focus on a corrective emotional experience. One of mine is T being so validating and kind and pointing out the impossible bind I was in.

Wow. That is great. If you get stuck during the course feel free to ask me. Lol. I have been a pharm tech for 3 and a half years. I am certified by my state and a national organization (PTCB).

Thanks squirrel! If I get in and get certified, it will open up other opportunities for me where I work.(I work for one of the big PBMs.)