Couch 167 1/2; Tennis Anyone?

I wish I had one person who honestly cared about me.

I don't even have the ability to alter my work schedule, so that'll make it easy to stick to my guns on that front

I can't call him directly. I could call the clinic and ask them to relay a message but all they'll do is send him an Epic message saying I called, which is no better than the message I already sent.

Thanks for the problem-solving thoughts, though

That’s horrible of those girls. I don’t kill spiders either (I release them using a
cup etc). Please give those girls a grrrr from me (it sounds rather like something a mean 8 year old might do, their behaviour, imo )

I feel like crap this evening

I did a bad thing to myself

Everyone hates me now, there's probably a against me on this forum now

We met. He seemed upset that I went back Thursday and reread the transcript I have of a major (to me) incident of abuse. We spent probably half the session trying to figure out why I did that and most of that time with me saying I don't know why. Although I told him he didn't have to read it when I sent it to him in an email, he did read it. He said it broke his heart that I was going back and reading it.

And we talked about emails again. I told him I didn't want to come today because I felt ashamed about the two emails I had sent him. I'm of the opinion that because I send the emails, it's my responsibility to deal with whatever feelings arise when he doesn't respond. He's aware that I know he may not respond but even knowing that, it still hurts when he doesn't. He thinks that because this is a relationship, that he bears some responsibility for whatever hurt feelings I get when he doesn't respond. I think we ended up at an impasse on this one. I told him the only obvious solution was for me not to email because I can't really control what feelings come up, but he doesn't think that's a good idea, that we already have a dynamic around this. He wants to tweak the email guidelines somehow. It'll be interesting to see what he comes up with.

Yell at her. I wish i had yelled at my mother when she pulled that carp on me. It ended up destroying my life because i couldnt tell her no. She probably got a cheap flight. Are there any other relatives in your area? Otherwise, just yell at her and tell her to cancel - you are the boss from now on.

Then you dont understand how truly lazy some of us are!

I generally either leave them alone or catch and release them, too. Though I did squash a mosquito dead the other day...I mean, West Nile virus, stuff like that...can't take a chance, considering my D (was in bathroom outside her room).

Una is always organizing and then falling asleep, so the rest of us just wander around aimlessly, leaderless.

I don't hate you. And I don't think anyone else here does, either. (((whispershadow))) I wish I knew how to help you feel better.

Clearly you haven't finished with it yet. I don't see why a T should be surprised at that.

I don't hate you either.

i'm sorry he didn't respond to that email. its not pathetic. maybe he knew since he was seeing you today, it was okay he didn't respond? MY T doesn't always respond to emails either, and she generally listens to me when I say i don't need anything (aka: dont respond), even if i am lying to myself.
i do, if that is helpful

Got my lab results from thyroid re-check, it's good again! yeah. My TSH is down to 1.210 (in the normal range) from 7.930 at the end of February. It pays to take your medication every day....

No, I'm not finished with it yet. It was traumatic to me. I think he worries that it's doing more harm to myself to reread it. There may be some truth to that. But there are reasons I do it, I just have to flesh out what they are.

I am in a bad mood and do not know why. Nobody did anything wrong to me. It’s not even 9pm where I am and I’m lying in bed. Hopefully I could shake the mood in time for work. All day long all I did was stare at my phone looking at various things. Nothing that would have put me in this mood. But then maybe thats why I am in this mood because all I did today was take my dog to the vet and come home. I don’t know.

Its true, i do like my naps. I just had one now, thank you. Folding underroos and watching waddyacallit, dna court, can tire you out. Everybody was the father today. I like when the tv asks, "do you need a dna test?" I always answer, "I need a dna test!"

So the local news is reporting in Info’s building earlier today.

Am wondering how one writes to a therapist “excuse me, but are you still alive?”

It’s a totally irrational (and self-absorbed) fear and I’m not even sure why I’m having it.

eek! Is this a large office building, or just a small T building? I don't think it is irrational to want to know.

Holy cow! Well, half the occupants in my ts building are ts, and if i heard that, i would probably wonder the same, as would i imagine quite a number of clients. I would probably text her and tell her she might want to let us know shes okay.

I would write it just as you wrote it here. “I heard the news. Are you still alive?”

I don’t think it’s an irrational fear at all. I’m sorry you think it is. You can always explore it with her or Piaf and try to figure out where it’s steaming from if you already don’t know.

Oh, wow. I would be feeling anxious in that scenario. I'd definitely email.

I'd definitely feel anxious, too. I mean, when I'd read about a bad accident on the major highway that ex-MC took to work, I'd always nervously read what kind of car it was, since I knew what he drove. Current T works in a small building, so if I heard something happened there, I'd definitely freak out.

I would think it understandable to check to see if the therapist was the snapper or the snappee.

You are incorrigible. Not that anybody with any sense would ever try.