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  #1  
Old May 30, 2018, 01:37 PM
sinking sinking is offline
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Location: Italy - but living in my head
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Today i had T. in the past days i've thought quite a lot about T because last session i left feeling very happy for i finally had the courage to tell her about some sort of ED. she seemed to take it seriously and it made me happy, i felt validated.
today thought, before going i was feeling cold as usual. i think its my way to protect myself from caring too much about T as it happened with my ex T.
anyway, today i went in, we did talk a little about it (maybe too little?), but this time she seemed to consider it as just another (temporary minor) obsession since she diagnosed me with OCD. i dont know how to consider it myself but its not temporary since i've been battling with it more seriously in the last 3 years. i dont know, i guess i left feeling invalidated this time. could it be it?
and seeing her next patients (ana group) only made it so much worse.

we did talk about a lot of other things: work, friends, therapy, CSA, memories, love, vacations, getting a house, kids etc. but i also think that maybe i feel bad because im not in a crisis and she pointed it out too so i feel like "nothing is going on" and i am wasting her time and i should be in a crisis. but i cant make it up. after the session i also texted her an address she asked me to send her and she hasnt answered.

i dont know, i feel unimportant, upset and hurting but she didnt do anything wrong. so why am i feeling like this? i cant shake it off.
some HELP please?
Hugs from:
rainbow8, WarmFuzzySocks

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  #2  
Old May 30, 2018, 01:42 PM
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coolibrarian coolibrarian is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: Upstate NY
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Therapy isn't only for when you're feeling bad or in some kind of crisis. It's perfectly acceptable to talk about good things there, too.
Thanks for this!
Anonymous45127, DP_2017, rainbow8, sinking, WarmFuzzySocks
  #3  
Old May 30, 2018, 10:46 PM
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circlesincircles circlesincircles is offline
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Did she ever text you back?

It sounds like there's a lot more to be explored with your therapist about the nature of the ED. She might not have a clear enough picture of it after two sessions.

As hard as it can be sometimes, does it feel possible to let her know that you felt invalidated? Or maybe just that there's more you'd like to discuss about the ED?
Thanks for this!
sinking
  #4  
Old May 30, 2018, 10:56 PM
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WarmFuzzySocks WarmFuzzySocks is offline
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I find that often after an intense session with my therapist, the next session is much more...reserved, or practical, maybe. It can be confusing to connect at a pretty vulnerable level and then reconnect the next time on a different level. I had a hard time adjusting to that, but it seems to be a part of the natural flow of therapy, pulling back a little, at least for me. We can't live in that super vulnerable space all the time.
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Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by accidents of time, or place, or circumstance, are brought into closer connection with you. (St. Augustine)
Thanks for this!
Anastasia~, sinking
  #5  
Old May 31, 2018, 02:47 PM
sinking sinking is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2012
Location: Italy - but living in my head
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Thanks. She didnt text back but its ok, i feel a little better after posting this here.

Often, its like, when im there with her, i forget how bad i feel during the week. How many times i have the flashes, bad thoughts, and feel like crying. But i guess i dont feel comfortable sharing it with her because then id feel its not a big deal, while if i keep it all to myself it feels more real. I dont know.
Anyone else experiencing the same or something like this?
Hugs from:
HowDoYouFeelMeow?, WarmFuzzySocks
  #6  
Old May 31, 2018, 03:39 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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I think it’s important to let someone... especially a therapist.. know if they have invalidated us. It can be hard for some (due to “training” in childhood) And ..... off topic. .. anyway I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better
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Thanks for this!
HowDoYouFeelMeow?, sinking
  #7  
Old May 31, 2018, 03:43 PM
Anonymous59090
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sinking View Post
Thanks. She didnt text back but its ok, i feel a little better after posting this here.

Often, its like, when im there with her, i forget how bad i feel during the week. How many times i have the flashes, bad thoughts, and feel like crying. But i guess i dont feel comfortable sharing it with her because then id feel its not a big deal, while if i keep it all to myself it feels more real. I dont know.
Anyone else experiencing the same or something like this?
Yes. I've felt like this too. And can still feel like it at times.

It's connected to that "if I get better I'll lose my help" type of thinking.

I think.
Thanks for this!
sinking, unaluna
  #8  
Old Jun 01, 2018, 03:41 PM
sinking sinking is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2012
Location: Italy - but living in my head
Posts: 1,711
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mouse_62 View Post
if I get better I'll lose my help
YES, this.

But more than anything im afraid of feeling invalidated. as if something important to me would be taken as (and/or be considered or be perceived by me by her reaction - or lack of it) less important than i feel it.

because after all… they are MY feelings and i realize that NOBODY else can take them more seriously than i do. so i dont even try, because i dont want to feel disappointed, humiliated and yes, invalidated.

i guess i have invalidation issues because of what i got in my childhood by my parents...
  #9  
Old Jun 05, 2018, 01:59 PM
sinking sinking is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2012
Location: Italy - but living in my head
Posts: 1,711
Should i risk T's invalidation next session, telling her about my obsession and struggles with food?

and talking about invalidation itself?
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