What T Replaced Me With

I talked to my old T again yesterday and he told me that his behavior of the past month or so towards me is because he is choosing to focus all of his time on dating and that although he would regret it if him choosing the woman he's currently seeing over me put our relationship at risk, he was and is OK with making that choice.

He also said that I might think that what's going on now means our entire past was a lie...but that it wasn't.

I was just his "I have nothing better to do" person. And now he has better things to do.

I don't matter to him...I never did.

Wow. Are you sure this guy is even a legit therapist with a license? I hope you report him. I'm sorry you're having to go through this.

What??? That's so screwed up I can't even come up with words...Except for I'm sorry...

Jesus! What the hell is wrong with him?!

How are you feeling about this ? It's very messed up , but don't blame yourself. I think I would report him it's so bad. But take care of you first , it's a horrible thing to be going through.

Definitely report him! Relationships with patients is a big no-no.

I cannot even begin to comprehend this.

Report him. Is he trained and liscenced?

You say "old T". When did he stop being your therapist?

Why do you not have a current T? Our whole focus might be our therapy if we choowe, but our therapist's whole focus is not just our therapy; they have other clients and a life of their own.

I feel completely worthless and stupid and like a total piece of ****.

He spent YEARS telling me that he would never leave me and that we were a team and that anything that came up, WE could handle it. We were there for each other - there were times when I put my stuff to the side to be there for him when he needed someone to listen or send him virtual hugs or tell him he cleaned up nice or was a great person. I thought we had a relationship - not a romantic one, but a real relationship.

How could that relationship, how could I have meant anything to him if he's willing to throw it all away so he can spend all of his time dating? How could I have possibly mattered when his reason for not responding to me, for going radio silent for a few days after I texted him telling him I was in crisis was that he chose to spend his time with someone else?

He was the only person that acted like I mattered to him. But that's what it was - an act. And now I know that I don't and I never did. And I don't think I ever will...to anyone.

I think the real, honest answer to that question is right after Valentine's Day when we had a huge rupture...but I didn't have a conversation with him about ending it until two weeks ago.

I was trying to find a new one - wrote a post about it - but now I don't think anyone would be willing to waste their time on a piece of **** like me. Even if they say they are, it will just turn out to be a lie once they get to know me.

I'm sorry you're going though this but none of this is your fault. It doesn't sound like he was a T with very good boundaries. You shouldn't have had to be there to help build him up, tell him he looked good and support him.Your not the things your calling yourself and you deserve real care.

This "therapist" must be either extremely sick in the mind or a complete fake or jerk, IMO. Likely both. Please do not listen to him and try to disregard his "feelings" and opinion. I would also maybe tell him these things - not in a paid session but e.g. via email if he reads that - and never talk to him again. I know it is hard to move on from someone like that all at once but it is better to try to accept this has nothing to do with you and is all about this twisted, manipulative, abusive individual.

This sounds so painful; I'm really sorry.

This sounds awful for you. The T sounds line he hasn't been clear about the nature of your relationship, let alone the boundaries that exist within that. I hope you can find a new T to work with and you find a way through this

I hate that your needs and issues didn’t get addressed, that he made therapy all about him, that he lacks proper ethics and boundaries, that you are leaving therapy with more issues than when you started and that he got *paid* for that!

What is the nature of your relationship with this therapist? I read some other threads that you started. It seems that the lines are blurred in some instances. I think that it would be in your best interest to terminate with this therapist. I understand that it's difficult to trust another therapist after what he had done to you; however, take some time to look around for a reputable therapist and one who has had experience in working with patients who had been in therapy before, but things didn't work out. I think that you should also report this therapist; it seems that he has violated several confidentiality issues and crossed some ethical boundaries. He shouldn't be practicing; he's harming.

Omg, I am only reading this now- wow! He really is something else, I am shocked and might think of reporting him. Dating should not affect your therapy together.