Emdr for past memories excited/freaking out

Ok when I was little I did some bad things. Sexual things and I wanted to know why but hardly have any memories of childhood. Today my therapist said that she wanted to do emdr for some lesser traumatic memories then work up to uncovering preverbal trauma. I did not know people used emdr for this. I am excited and scared. I cant find any reading material on this. Does anyone have any? Also she said she wanted to figure out why I did sexual things with peers as a child. how the heck can that ever be kwown? Help please!

Here's an article from the PC library.

https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-emd...and-addiction/

I had a professor in college who taught me how to refocus myself for public speaking purposes. Similar in nature without delving into my past, however.

Keep us posted on how it goes.

To the best of my knowledge emdr does not set a goal of reaching to unconscious memories. It works with conscious memories that cause traumatic symptoms. Some unconscious memories may come to the surface during emdr session, but it's never an intentional goal to dig them out. EMDR requires a special training. Make sure your therapist is certified to perform EMDR before signing up for this. It's a very specific procedure and if a practitioner is incompetent it could bring more harm than good.

IMHO, it's not a good idea to force memories out into the light. It's best when they come out naturally when they are ready to come out. It'd be better for your therapist to stay with you in the present moment and to work with what you are already aware of such as your feelings about your childhood experiences and your childhood behavior that you do remember. I am confident that after doing this type of work for some time new information will come out eventually.

This isn't quite the same as what your therapist is describing as goals, but it's related. I've just closed my first memory in EMDR, but I don't really have memories of the incident. My therapist and I speculate it was either due to a concussion or a highly dissociative episode. So even now after closing the memory, I don't remember much more than I did before processing.

I like that your therapist is recommending that you start with smaller memories first. That's what I did as well. But definitely make sure you have the resources to deal with whatever may emerge. Wishing the best to you in your journey.

Thank you. I live in Va. too!

Peer-reviewed clinical research has shown that it is impossible to recover preverbal memories in the way you describe. A memory can surface naturally, but you can’t “force” a memory out using EMDR or hypnosis. There has been lots of research done on the “repressed memory” craze in the 1980s and 1990s and the harm it has done, implanting false memories. I would be extremely skeptical of any therapist who promises that you will recover preverbal memories. More often, the memories “remembered” turn out to be false. A therapist also connect tell you what your motivation was. That is for you to determine. Certainly, you can explore your memories and feelings with a T and try to make sense of your own motivations. But a T cannot figure you this out for you not can you use EMDR to figure this out by recovering a preverbal memory.

Well if I knew why I wouldnt need therapy.

I have DID and I did gain a preverbal memory from EMDR. It came naturally though it was not the goal. I wascactually working on a different target when it popped up.

If i do not recover something i will never be free. See ever since I was about 8 I knew I liked girls. Probelm is that never changed as I got older. I have never acted but not knowing why i am like this is and has destroyed me. I hate this.

I can relate to this. There is something about my family I'd like to remember and it bugs the hell out of me that I can't. But, on the other hand, I am not sure that recovering one or two specific memories would fully liberate me from my problems. I think, they might make it easier to continue to heal, but they won't be the ultimate solution.

I don't believe we are ever free. I have a spiritual belief that we are not able to free ourselves completely in one lifetime, no matter how much we uncover about our experiences and how much work we are doing. I know for sure I will not be fully liberated and fully healed in this particular lifetime, so I allow the process to unfold naturally at its own pace. This, in and of itself, feels liberating. This way I am much more accepting of myself because I am okay with where I am right now. I've heard someone say "we are always where we need to be or else we wouldn't be here". I tend to agree with that.

I want to be free now because I am not sure there is an afterlife.

Makes sense. I am certainly not trying to force my beliefs on anyone. I just want to clarify that I don't believe in "after" life. I believe just in never ending life in whatever form it chooses to manifest itself. But, your concern makes sense.

If you don't have spiritual beliefs there is another way for you to look at this issue of uncovered memories. You basically have a choice between stressing out and obsessing about uncovering some particular memories because you believe they'll set you free (even though there is no guarantee that that would happen) or you can choose to live in the present and enjoy yourself in the present in whatever way you want regardless of what happened in the past. I am not saying that the latter is easy to achieve. It's not. I understand that there are many traumatic symptoms and emotional blockages connected to past events that don't allow us to enjoy ourselves. But you can work with all of them in the present moment without any need to recover any memories.

Regardless of what you believe, there is one thing I can tell you for certain. Forcing memories to come out doesn't work. You will waste a lot of time and energy doing that instead of directing that time and energy on the work that can be done with the conscious material in the present, which would be more productive in terms of making your daily life more enjoyable.