Therapy is so different now!

I long for the days I was distressed because of my feelings for T. I know those were difficult times, but oh how I wish I could go back in time. T validated how awful I feel physically. She sat next to me and let me hold her hand for most of the session while I talked about my life before this pain, and my life now. Chronic pain sucks! It's ironic that I don't have the same feelings for T. Except I do but they are more normal. I want to be with her for comfort. She stopped talking about addiction.

Are you saying you're less attached to your therapist now than you were in the past? And you miss that close relationship?

When I had chronic pain after a minor surgery that left me unable to sit for any period of time, everything was different, including therapy. It took 9 months for me to heal substantially, although it can still flare up and be an issue.

It seems sensible and normal to me that your therapy has shifted, and I am really glad your T can provide some comfort for you. I believe in healing touch. I hope that the sucky pain resolves itself soon.

No, I'm saying just the opposite!! Our relationship seems so much closer now because it's more normal. I don't feel the emotional pain of the yearning for what she can't give me. If I didn't have this medical condition, I would probably still feel it. The physical pain takes over, so T has become what she is supposed to be, my T. The focus is not on my relationship with her anymore, but on how she can help me face my challenging circumstances. I am in physical pain and have side effects of a new medicine. As I tell T how bad I feel, there are no barriers. It's hard to explain. I'd rather have the emotional pain than this chronic physical pain, but it has brought me to a place of connection with T that I always wanted. It's bittersweet. I don't know how to explain it any better.

I think you have an abundance of good fortune, despite your pain, and I'm sorry you can't fully appreciate it. I have incredible pain and mounting health issues but my therapist offers no comfort. Instead, she tells me to comfort myself, which just makes me feel even more alone. Appreciate what you have, rainbow.

I think I know what you mean (((((((( Rainbow ))))))

This isn’t what I read Rainbow as saying either. I find it interesting (not in a bad way) how very different each person’s construction of their reality is. (((((( hugs ))))))

This seems so familiar, the being physically ill and so your yearning for her has been sort of pushed aside. Gentle hugs.