[Bcefbc]

What if you’re not ready to talk about something, but is causing you severe pain, like SH and SI? Could I bring up the pain by prefacing with the fact I can’t talk about the root or would that be fruitless? Should I just try and if I really can’t just ask my therapist to not talk about it again until I’m ready? What if I’m never ready?

[Mully]

Originally Posted by Bcefbc

What if you’re not ready to talk about something, but is causing you severe pain, like SH and SI? Could I bring up the pain by prefacing with the fact I can’t talk about the root or would that be fruitless? Should I just try and if I really can’t just ask my therapist to not talk about it again until I’m ready? What if I’m never ready?

You can say whatever you are comfortable with. Sometimes things take time. There are things that I am still struggling to talk about- thankfully my T is really patient and believes in pacing, so she’s gentle. You might find it easier to open up as you continue to work with your T. Just because you don’t feel ready to talk about it now, and even if it feels like you will never feel ready, things can always change! Hang in there and just take whatever little steps you can to help yourself feel better.

[Fuzzybear]

I’m not sure.. but I can relate to the question

[SlumberKitty]

Maybe it would be beneficial to say that there is something that is causing you pain that you can't talk about. At least that addresses that there is something. I can imagine that a T might be a bit curious and want to try to ask a question or two but I think a lot of T's would just respect that and wait until you are ready to talk about it. My former T was really good about not pushing me to talk about things that I wasn't ready to talk about. Sometimes I did write them down and either email it or bring it to session and then I didn't have to talk but I could still communicate. I once had an entire session where I just wrote everything down on her yellow legal pad and didn't even say a word. It helped to be able to communicate without having to talk. Sometimes I would bring in drawings too that she would comment on, but I didn't have to talk about. But if that is too much, then try to listen to yourself and know where you are at. Its okay that you aren't ready to talk about it. Sometimes I try to push through a little uncomfortable feelings but not always...sometimes I know I just can't. Its never easy to decide to talk or not talk. Its a good sign I think that you are talking here. I hope that you get some support here that helps you.

[Perna]

Mully's reminder that it can take time and to go at your speed is good. Talking about something won't immediately fix it either; there will be lots of talk about it all eventually. Remind yourself too, the SH/SI is your self taking care of yourself as best you can at the moment and as painful as it is, be kind to yourself, you're doing the best you can! The pain is painful but you have dealt with pain before, can be kind to yourself about it, let yourself keep doing what it needs to to help you and "you" work on opening up and talking about it.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by Bcefbc

What if you’re not ready to talk about something, but is causing you severe pain, like SH and SI? Could I bring up the pain by prefacing with the fact I can’t talk about the root or would that be fruitless? Should I just try and if I really can’t just ask my therapist to not talk about it again until I’m ready? What if I’m never ready?

I’ve had things that wanted to be brought out but knew it was too much for me to really say out loud.

I’ve written it on a card and let my t read it. I asked him to read it silently. After he reads it we kind of talk around it without being direct or detailed about it. That helped me just knowing that it was known and I wasn’t under pressure to actually dive into it and talk about the details.

At the end of my session he asks me what I would like to do with the card.

He has a drawer in his desk and there is a file folder with some other things that’s I’ve brought. I ask him to please keep it in the file folder. It feels like it’s in a safe place and when I’m ready, I would like to talk about it more.

It’s been helpful to me and it’s “known” but in a safe way.

[susannahsays]

I prefer to sit in sullen silence when I don't want to talk about something. The therapist can't draw blood from a stone.

[starfishing]

The possibilities you've mentioned for raising the topic but keeping things manageable all sound great. I've done that kind of thing a few times where I've mentioned something like "Y and Z are bothering me but I'm not ready to talk about it." Its typically been a very useful first step towards figuring out why I can't talk about it and ultimately broaching the underlying stuff.

[annielovesbacon]

this is a self harm tw

Possible trigger:

i have self harmed for almost a decade and have never brought it up with T for a few reasons, mainly because I'm scary but also because in recent years it hasn't been as serious as a problem. but it has gotten much worse lately and I know I need to tell her but I'm very scared. I think what I am going to do is tell her I have been self harming, but then say I am not sure if I want to talk about it further. I don't know how therapists generally react to knowing their clients SH but I think she should know, but I am not sure if I want to talk about it in detail. maybe that could be an approach.