Couch 175: You've Got Mail....

So I'm handling the drive home a lot better. Only 15 more minutes of highway driving...

Where are you planning to go? Work can sometimes be a good distraction. I'm not sure it's a good time for you to take off.

Don't be sorry for telling somebody the truth I agree my mom can be like that a lot, I just don't have a lot of people making me aware of it.

Somewhere with trees that's quiet. Probably the last place I attempted to go. I'm sick of work. I'm sick of everything.

Stay safe, NP...

I've been spamming the couch all day because I've been dealing with suicidal feelings and just need to connect with people. These feelings will pass. Please reach out to T and let him know how much you're struggling. You don't have to go through this alone. You're so much stronger than you know. We are all here for you and we do care about you.

I agree with CNS. I look forward to your posts, and they give me a chance to think hard about therapy without being so focused on my T. That is very helpful, and also you're a really entertaining writer as well. I'm hooked on the next installments, on what happened next .

Are we nearly there yet?!

Aw, thanks SE!

Awww, Holden. I think one of his most poignant lines is when he says " I felt like disappearing every time I crossed a road". I completely get that- being at a crossroads and not really being up to the challenge of growing up or grabbing the golden ring. Such a great book.

Ooooo that's a brilliant interpretation!I would have have thought it meant just deliberately walking into oncoming traffic.

You cant even see my baseboards.

NP! I'm worried. We need each other here. It's so important to me, that youre safe after everything you've been through. I get it, I really do. Sometimes there is no pinprick of light getting through, but just try something, anything to shake it up. Trauma has its own voice, and and can talk louder than the voice of the self, but it isn't permanent . I worry you internalized your husband's voice maybe, and that needs to get out of there. I read a book about trees- how trees are very social bc they need a canopy to survive to old age, and it takes many trees to form one. Like that, every person here matters. Stay online.

Will I be seeing you on an episode of Hoarders?

Im starting to think so.

Thanks. We stopped at Costco and are almost home now.

Ask "cute" chiro to help? Or you could just ask me to move in with you. I secretly love cleaning when I feel like a duracell rabbit. My favorite bit is mopping.

YAY!

Any purchases of 5kg tubs of marmite?

Gentle hugs. I'm sorry you're dealing with those feelings. You're always so thoughtful and kind and deserve so much love.

Thanks, everybody. I've now crashed since my panic attack or whatever it was ended and I have no energy. I feel so stupid now for emailing my therapist. I doubt he's even in town; I know he flew somewhere on Thursday so he's probably travelling today. I don't know what to do now about anything.

Um... Not today! but I did get lentils and tika masala

Hiya new couch! I found the perfect pillow.

Thank you Artie, it honestly means more than I could say. I sent R another pathetic email.

9 days from tomorrow untill my exam. I think I've given up hope, this is my second degree but in my first one- in my second year I learnt the whole of biochemistry in 5 days. I studied till 2am everyday and cried over second messengers but I got a perfect 70% and an email from my lecturer saying well done. So hope dangles on.

That's the cutest thing I've seen!

You're brilliant at finding the best pillows Butterfly!

Sooooo group dinner at yours?

I really want to go to Seattle though.