Couch 175: You've Got Mail....

[searches in vain for a bowing emoji]

@@ I see you out there giving out hugs. How are you feeling today? I’m glad Info validated your hurt.

Ooh, I just found a positive spin on the situation with Piaf.

I am what lots of posters worry about being—too much for a therapist.

ETA: I’m OK, Jersey—I’m cleaning today too.

Yeah, when I get lots of sleep I often feel like I have a sort of sleep hangover and am fuzzy-headed all day. I think I'm just used to functioning on less sleep.

When I was younger, I would be able to go all day on 4 hours of sleep and buckets of coffee. Now I can’t drink coffee without getting heartburn.

If you open the whole box the press ctrl + F then search for bow it comes up easier. That's what I do when I don't can't find the open I'm looking for.

Most of the Americans are sleeping or getting ready for work.

Muwahahaha my evil plan is working!!!!!! ( 5+ for over emphasis)

It's 3.16pm where I am.

Different time zones I guess. This message came through at 6:49 AM my time. Sometimes I'm up by then, sorry I missed you today.

It's wasn't you @@ and you're not too much- your T was wrong.

Good tip!

I concur.

My favourite words are still defenestration and interrobang.

There's quite a few I haven't used yet!

I know. CE said it was quiet around these parts when he posted that. Where I am it was like 6:49AM and I was not reading here yet at that time. Now it’s close to 9:30am. But CE is in New Zealand so I think it’s like 1 or 2am there at this time or somehing. Hopefully he’s resting well and getting a good nights sleep.

sitting here watching my son attend his first online class of the school year i dont think i could be subjected to math this early in the morning!

Scarlet, the part of this that I bolded is where CODA (codependents anonymous) is being so helpful for me already. I'm learning that detaching from my h and his issues doesn't mean that i don't love him, it just means that i love ME too.


my h does the same thing as yours although not to the extreme of going to the hospital that many times. (he has gone to the emergency room in the past for a sore knee that he was convinced he would somehow die from and they told him he had arthritis; and when he had a little rash on his leg one time he kept trying to convince them that he had flesh-eating disease even tho the dr said no you do not, and i don't even remember what caused this episode but he didn't work for like 3 months one time just laid in his chair waiting to die from some mysterious, undiagnoseable, extremely rare ailment that was invisible to everyone but him including his doctor. (that last one was probably before i found PC.) i had myself so tangled up in him, so enmeshed with him and his problems that it was starting to physically affect me. i never even really talked about it much with t because i didn't even know it was a 'thing' that i was doing, that my codependence was making me more miserable than his hypochondria! but since i've been going to CODA and working on step 1 I'm learning to detach from him and his issues and take better care of me already. he was tired yesterday and started in on the 'i better check my temperature' thing and i didn't even respond, just pretended i didn't hear him say that and recited a couple of my recovery statements in my head and let him go about his business, i was able to think clearly enough to realize that yes he was tired because he'd just driven for like 3 hours and hadn't gotten a lot of sleep the night before. his temp was normal of course, and he went back to whatever he'd been doing. my being so wrapped up in his stuff caused so much pain and stress for me that i didn't feel at all yesterday and it was miraculous in a way. (((scarlet)))

I think the fact that he didn’t need to get up, get dressed and get on a school bus may make it easier to be subject to math. But yeah I’m with you. Don’t even bother me with 2+2 till noon.

haha oh yeah!! he wears headphones for classes and hes eating his breakfast as hes listening so i cant complain too loudly !

i never attended CODA meetings but when her practice was still open my counselor had co-dependency meetings/groups and i was a regular there so much of what i learned has been very beneficial for everyday life and especially helpful now with the husband as well(i say the husband as it is primarily marriage in name only anymore)

It’s raining very hard here. The rain is just coming down in buckets. And it’s so so humid. I don’t even want to go outdoors. Should be no excuse not to get the house cleaned.

I really enjoyed the meeting yesterday. I even sat at the table for the first time instead of in a chair along the wall (I joked "I'm gonna sit at the big kids table this time" as I sat down) and volunteered to read something later in the meeting. I'm finding that it's helpful for me to share with people who are dealing w the same stuff in their relationships, in a different way than talking with t about it.

Art, I’m glad it’s working for you.

I watched a documentary a couple years ago about a set of twin teen girls who were very co dependant on each other to the point where they had to be in the same room with each other at all times and followed each other’s every move. I know that’s different from your experience but it was still about co dependency. The girls actually had to go into inpatient treatment for it-separately. I only remember bits and pieces of the documentary but it was some tough stuff they went through.

So my H is now putting his "health" before mine. He was supposed to be with me for my pre-op appointments tomorrow and then my surgery on Wednesday. But no, he has to have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. He just scheduled it this morning. I really hate him. So selfish. Oh, and he doesn't want to wait for me when I have surgery. He wants to drop me off and the come back when I'm ready to go home. We live 40min from the hospital!

I don't know why, but I've always thought of a relationship as a point system. So every time I do something good (clean the house, take him somewhere, spend time with him, have sex, etc.) I get a point. Those points I save up in order to use when I really need something. I have taken on all the chores in our house for the past 3 months. I have taken him, picked him up, and spent time with him in the hospital numerous of times. I think I racked up a ton of points. At least enough to ask for him to be there for Tuesday and Wednesday. Guess it's more like "every man for himself".

Scarlet he does sound really selfish