[SlumberKitty]

I'm sad today. I have had a long term T that got sick with MS and hasn't been able to see clients anymore. We have been able to talk on the phone but mostly about transition-y stuff. Well I think I am going to stick with Tony the Tiger T for a while. I've seen her twice and she seems like she's kind and thoughtful and I have hope that she can help me and that we can work together successfully. But that means I really have to say goodbye to former T now. So we have a call scheduled for next week but it's going to be more of a goodbye call than anything. I emailed her today to let her know that I plan on working with Tony the Tiger T and that I know it is time to say goodbye and then I ended up crying so much. I'm just really sad. I have hope in the new T but the old T has been with me for a long time--10 years--so I just really don't want to have to say goodbye but I know that it is time.

[nottrustin]

Sounds very difficult and painful. Thinking about you.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

I'm sad today. I have had a long term T that got sick with MS and hasn't been able to see clients anymore. We have been able to talk on the phone but mostly about transition-y stuff. Well I think I am going to stick with Tony the Tiger T for a while. I've seen her twice and she seems like she's kind and thoughtful and I have hope that she can help me and that we can work together successfully. But that means I really have to say goodbye to former T now. So we have a call scheduled for next week but it's going to be more of a goodbye call than anything. I emailed her today to let her know that I plan on working with Tony the Tiger T and that I know it is time to say goodbye and then I ended up crying so much. I'm just really sad. I have hope in the new T but the old T has been with me for a long time--10 years--so I just really don't want to have to say goodbye but I know that it is time.

I'm sorry to hear this.How is your self care? I hope you can start taking stock of all the things you learned, the times that you really bonded and how much you have grown.

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

I'm sorry to hear this.How is your self care? I hope you can start taking stock of all the things you learned, the times that you really bonded and how much you have grown.

Yeah, my first response has been crying and my second response is that my desire to SH has been pretty strong but I'm resisting that at least at the moment. It took me a long time to open up and trust my former T but once I did we were able to have a relationship that was really positive. I was able to talk to her about painful things in my life, things I've never told anyone else and able to take away some of the sting of those things by just talking about them and processing them. I have a lot better handle on my emotions than I used to. I used to be so afraid of anger that I wouldn't let myself get angry but now I can tolerate some anger in me and that's a good thing. I learned anger itself isn't bad, it's what you do with it. I think I learned I'm stronger than I think I am. I'm better at standing up for myself and I'm better at knowing what I want and asking for it. Its hard to process all the things we worked on and the things that I'm better at now than I was because the grief of losing her is in the way but I think with time some more of that will come. I'm trying to practice good self care right now, trying to be gentle with myself and give myself time to be sad but also make myself be around others and not hibernate.

[Taylor27]

Hugs very painful and hard, so sorry you are going through this. Allow yourself time to grieve losing a long term therapist is very hard.

[SlumberKitty]

Thanks everybody. It's nice to have a place (PC) to share sadness over losing T. If I would have had it my way, I would have seen her every week for the rest of my life. Of course, she is much older than I am so I don't know how that would have worked practically but still. I'm very sad. I keep having these crying spells, but crying is better than SH. Well I mean, it's a better way to cope. I don't mean it works the same way or anything.