[Crook32]

So my T wants me to see another T to see if they agree with each other. She doesn’t think I trust her professional opinion so she is hoping if I get a second opinion it will help me trust her more. I do trust her I just don’t always do what she suggests or agree with her. I am very anxious about getting a second opinion.

[Deejay14]

You are under no obligation to get a second opinion. If you trust her tell her that, but trusting her might not always mean you follow her suggestion. I trust my husband with my life but that doesn't mean I follow all his suggestions to the letter and many times not at all, but it helpful to hear his thoughts.

[kecanoe]

I think I would ask myself two questions: Would a second opinion help me to trust T1 more? And, why the anxiety-is it because there might be confirmation, that there might be disagreement and you would have to choose, or opening up to someone else or something else altogether?

[Ididitmyway]

Your T's wish for you to see another T to get a second opinion speaks of her own insecurities and fragile ego much more than it does about your problem trusting her, whether real or imagined. I find it pathetic that a T takes a client's mistrust ( again whether real or imagined makes no difference) so personally. The decision about a second opinion should come from a client, not a T. If she has a problem with you not following her advice/direction..whatever, she should try to understand what's going on instead of making it personal. I actually don't understand what it is that you are supposed to follow, as therapists are not supposed to direct clients to do anything and therapy work is supposed to be about increasing client's confidence to make their own choices. So, I really don't get what her problem is.

[koru_kiwi]

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

Your T's wish for you to see another T to get a second opinion speaks of her own insecurities and fragile ego much more than it does about your problem trusting her, whether real or imagined..

what IDIMW has said is spot on. sounds like your T should be the one seeking a second opinion through her own supervision instead of putting the burden back on you.

[Crook32]

I am just not sure if this is her way of getting rid of me.

[missbella]

It’s your life. You have the sole and deciding vote.

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by Crook32

I am just not sure if this is her way of getting rid of me.

Have you asked? In many ways therapy is a relationship like any other. I consider the other person's request when they ask me to do it; it doesn't mean I roll over and comply. But if your fear is that this is a manipulation of some sort, if you can't take what she says at face value, then ask.

Is it possible this could be helpful to you and move you ahead in your therapy? It makes some objective sense to me.

But the other relational piece is what's the cost to you?

And have you asked her what happens afterwards, like suppose the other T does not agree with her. How do you feel about that? It would make sense to me that you and your T talk about all the possibilities.

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by Crook32

I am just not sure if this is her way of getting rid of me.

This may or may not be the case, but to me this is irrelevant. What I see as a problem here is that she doesn't understand that she is not in a position to suggest you to get a second opinion.

Professionals normally don't refer customers to get a second opinion, no matter what their profession is. Doctors don't normally tell you to go to another doctor for a second opinion, and so don't mechanics, financial consultants..any specialist. It is upon you, as a consumer, to make a decision about getting a second opinion. The same with therapists.

As a professional, I make decisions to conduct my work in a certain way and you, as a client, decide if you accept it or if you want to get a second opinion and then decide which one you like better and which therapist you want to keep seeing. As a professional, I don't care how other professionals conduct their work. It's none of my business. If I need to consult with a colleague about a case, I'd just do that instead of sending a client to another professional. If a client of mine doesn't like what I do for whatever reason, they are free to either get a second opinion or to see a different therapist. But it is their decision, not mine. The power to make this decision resides within the client, not the therapist. Your T is attempting to take that power away from you by making this decision for you. By doing this she is engaging in a power struggle instead of trying to understand what the problem is between the two of you. Not smart on her part to say the least.

She is putting you and herself in the trap with no way out. Let's say you get a second opinion and it's different from hers? or the same as hers? So what? What does it change between the two of you? If you have a problem trusting her, getting a second opinion isn't going to change that. And if you don't have that problem and it's purely her imagination, then she needs to get a "second opinion" from a third party on how she conducts her work or better else she needs to get some therapy.

Frankly, this whole thing to me sounds like she feels insecure about her own competence and, instead of owning it, she projects it on you. If she needs a confirmation from another professional that she is on the right track and that she is doing a good work, she should own her self-doubts and get supervision or peer consultation instead of pretending that this is your problem by sending you to another professional.

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

Professionals normally don't refer customers to get a second opinion, no matter what their profession is. Doctors don't normally tell you to go to another doctor for a second opinion, and so don't mechanics, financial consultants..any specialist. It is upon you, as a consumer, to make a decision about getting a second opinion. The same with therapists.

I think this is a very good point.