[Rive1976]

So everytime I am in therapy with a woman. (I dont see men because I find them cold) I feel this desire for them to be my mother. It was bad with my last therapist and is getting that way with this one. My mother sucked as a mother. She bought me things but was never there emotionally. This was the case when I was little too.

[seeker33]

I think it's exactly because of that. You're looking for a mother figure who would take care of you.
I'm exactly the same, although until recently it was an imaginary mother in my fantasy. Now I have maternal transference towards my T.
I think it's a symptom of childhood neglect.

[CantExplain]

A lot of us turn to therapy when what we really need is a good parent.

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by Dnester

So everytime I am in therapy with a woman. (I dont see men because I find them cold) I feel this desire for them to be my mother. It was bad with my last therapist and is getting that way with this one. My mother sucked as a mother. She bought me things but was never there emotionally. This was the case when I was little too.

I never thought of it that way. My new T is younger than me. I don't go to men bc I feel way too uncomfortable with a man, and I won't talk unless I am asked, and even that is hard for me. With this T, and my last one who was also younger than me, I look for things we may have in common. My new T, that I will see for the 2nd time today, I feel like we have the most in common than anyone else I have seen my whole life!!! She had ! alcoholic parent who abused her mother, and ended up the totally different than me. Both my parents were alcoholics, and abusers only in different ways, among others in my family, and my parent's friends. But anyway even though my T is younger, I feel closer to her than I ever did with any other T!!!

[PurpleBlur]

Originally Posted by katydid777

I never thought of it that way. My new T is younger than me. I don't go to men bc I feel way too uncomfortable with a man, and I won't talk unless I am asked, and even that is hard for me. With this T, and my last one who was also younger than me, I look for things we may have in common. My new T, that I will see for the 2nd time today, I feel like we have the most in common than anyone else I have seen my whole life!!! She had ! alcoholic parent who abused her mother, and ended up the totally different than me. Both my parents were alcoholics, and abusers only in different ways, among others in my family, and my parent's friends. But anyway even though my T is younger, I feel closer to her than I ever did with any other T!!!

...closer than ever to the T you have only seen once?

[PurpleBlur]

Originally Posted by Dnester

So everytime I am in therapy with a woman. (I dont see men because I find them cold) I feel this desire for them to be my mother. It was bad with my last therapist and is getting that way with this one. My mother sucked as a mother. She bought me things but was never there emotionally. This was the case when I was little too.

i am this way too. my t of late has been very responsive to that "fantasy" and been very protective of me and im not sure how good it is in the long run, but it feels nice for now.... but it is distressing to feel it and want it so badly and know that it can never be.

[susannahsays]

Originally Posted by PurpleBlur

...closer than ever to the T you have only seen once?

That's not what she said. She said she feels closer to the new therapist than she ever did to the old one.

[WishfulThinker66]

Have you mentioned this is a concern to the new therapist?

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66

Have you mentioned this is a concern to the new therapist?

No way I would be very uncomfortable and it would make therapy weird.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Dnester

No way I would be very uncomfortable and it would make therapy weird.

Therapy is already weird. But talking about it makes it less weird.

[Taylor27]

I can relate to you so much. I did not have a good upbringing my parents where abusive. I too have a hard time telling my therapist this. When i saw a female it was harder for me. Hugs

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Therapy is already weird. But talking about it makes it less weird.

Very true. I agree.

[Rive1976]

I dont want to be disappointed again, make it harder to talk to her, feel embarrassed.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Dnester

I dont want to be disappointed again, make it harder to talk to her, feel embarrassed.

You would probably feel disappointed and embarrassed in the short term. But it would be easier to talk to her after that. Things left unsaid become a barrier to communication.

[katydid777]

I seen my new T for the 2nd time yesterday, and it was very different than my first session. It seemed like she was a lot more clinical, an she scheulded my next apt for a month from now, not like she said on my first apt. She said I would be seen twice a month. IDK it may be bc I had a good day yesterday.