Teary Eyed Therapist?

Have any of you ever made your T cry in session? Or have you noticed if they got teary eyed?


Did you mention the tears/teary eyes or pretend not to see it and let them hide it?



how did it make you feel if you did see them get teary eyed or actually cry?

Yes, my old awful T teared up all the time. I think he was faking it. Maybe tears of joy because he knew I was paying off his mortgage.

Sorry for my cynicism. Actually, my first T, a man was visibly affected this way when I told him about my sorry childhood. At the time, I never cried about it, and seeing how it affected him made me realize that I really did have a point. It was important.

lol thanks for the laugh re: paying off the mortgage.


That way for me too, regarding seeing how my story has affected some of my therapists. Often I tell the story laughing, but then falter because they have this expression like they're watching a puppy be kicked. (no tears on these occasions) but it can be very sobering.

I don't pay therapists to tear up or cry. I am paying them to help keep me together.

She’s teared up once - when I gave her a very sincere compliment. There’s some backstory to this - which I don’t want to get into, but she’s not a mushy feely T, so it was nice to experience .

I think there's a huge difference between getting teary-eyed and actually crying. I would not mind the former, in fact I think I would be touched by it, but the latter would make me very uncomfortable and I would find it very inappropriate.

Anyway - as far as I know my T hasn't done either. But I don't look at him all that much... I probably wouldn't know.

I doubt it. There would have been no reason for the woman to become teary so I would have been puzzled. I also paid her to keep her emotions out of it.
But I rarely looked at her so I wouldn't know.

No, this has not happened.

Yes, he has, once, after a story I told him. I also tend to tell bad things while smiling or laughing and I make them smaller, so it was validating. He asked me later how I felt about it. I didn't expect it but I was touched by it.

No--but my life is so plain and boring, that there would be no reasons for her to get emotional at all.

Ex-T (female) has gotten teary-eyed before. Current T and ex-marriage counselor (both male), not that I've noticed. I mean, I've seen each wipe one eye before, so it's possible it happened and they were concealing it. But nothing obvious like ex-T.

I can't say that she teared up, that's why I didn't vote, but I could definitely tell she was holding back from getting emotional. It was my first session with her and I had just told her about what brought me to therapy (a condition I was born with) and then she told me she'd lost a daughter to that. That's when her gaze froze and I was like "oh s***" but, since this was the first time she was seeing me, I think she did her best to hold back. Maybe she thought it wouldn't look good, idk.

I couldn't bring it up (but that bothered me for at least 3 months) until I finally told her I felt uncomfortable talking about the condition even more than I did before, but she assured me I shouldn't feel that way and she claims she doesn't remember having this kind of reaction.....

Yeah T teared up a few times. I noticed it but looked away because I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. A few months ago she asked me if I ever thought she cried doight back tears during our appointments. I told her I suspected it but was never sure. She confirmed she had but early in her career she learned to hide it. One client was telling her a horrific painful story and she started shedding a few tears. The client never returned because she felt bad for making T cry and felt the need to protect her.

Every T I have seen has become teary eyed on at least one occasion. With ex T there were two times it happened and it felt like a very genuine emotion from her. I felt curious about that. Current t has been teary eyed on two occasions also, the first time a tweenage one of us commented on it and then at that point it felt likeT used her teary eyes as a "technique". (As in trauma therapy books sometimes say it can be therapeutic for clients to see you tear up in response to something that is genuinely heartbreaking.) Because it so obviously felt like she was using it as a technique then it had no therapeutic benefit whatsoever!

I have never seen a T cry outright and I hope I never do. Someone else here said there is a world of difference between a therapist tearing up and a therapist crying. I think any therapist who outright cries in a session with a client has lost their way and needs serious help.

Yes. it didnt bother me. It felt comforting. No one else ever cared about what I went through.

yes my therapist has gotten teary eyed and has cried (let the tears fall) during my sessions and frankly I would be very shocked and concerned if she didnt considering the traumatic things I have shared with her. I mean it takes a very cold and heartless person not to get teary eyed or not to cry/ show emotions when a person is describing how a grown man hurt a little 4 yr old child. (before anyone panics I was the child), when a child this young has been abused in the ways that I have its normal for others to feel and show anger, tears, and at times cry for that child...

when you think about it there are people in this world who watch tv drama's and their eyes well up with tears when a child has been or is being hurt on the screen why not in real life too.

my therapist and I have shared many times full of tears, laughter, excitement, anger and just a whole mix of emotions during my sessions. thats what makes a good therapist in my mind, one that can truly listen so deeply that they let the emotions show for what a person is telling them.

Im not saying the therapist should just go off the wall in hysterics but sometimes its that connection, that a therapist really is listening and isnt pardon the expression "a cold hearted B..."

some people prefer a therapist that just sits and stares and others want one they can feel a connection with.

No, my former T never cried or got teary eyed. Though I usually told her most of the hard stuff on email and then we would talk about it in session so it is possible she got teary eyed when reading the email but never that I saw.

Yes two of my ts cried! My first t cried when I said I was leaving and I was really touched by that.
Ex t cried twice but it was nothing to do with me or my process it was because she was talking about something personal. It was very awkward.

I don't look at my T often enough to know.

I've been thinking about it and I think I would be uncomfortable if my former T had cried or got teary eyed. I would have wanted her to "keep it together" in order to help me I think.

I think my t has gotten teary eyed, but he might have been using Joey from Friends trick (discreetly pull on a crotch hair).

lol you gotta stop making me laugh today

Thanks for making me laugh out loud, unaluna. I needed that.