What would make your T give up on you?

I don't think the therapist should get to impose their idea of what "progress" looks like, but I do think that if they feel if the "therapy", or interaction between the therapist and the client, may be doing harm, then they, professionally, need to find a way to discuss that with the client. Respecting their autonomy in the process, for sure. I don't know what that would look like. Should be part of their training? Perhaps bring in third party consultant, I don't know. The therapist might even change their mind, who knows in advance. Just dumping a client out, or even "referring them on" is a cop out, and can be harmful or dangerous to the client, too.

It's great to read your perspective on this, now, though.

I never worried that my Ts would give up on me and it was not what their behavior and other signals suggested, they even communicated with me quite a lot after I stopped going to sessions and paying them. They tried to have me go back to sessions and I was even pretty (verbally) nasty at times with one of them. So no clue. I am guessing maybe threatening with physical violence or harassing them in their personal lives could be reasons. My experience was more that they just would not respond to overly provocative and out-of-place behavior, which made sense to me and was the right thing to do IMO. Well, the first actually responded to that often and that's exactly what caused many problems, he was too reactive. But even then, they would make it very clear that they wanted me to go to sessions. I very much thought at the end that it would have been more helpful if they terminated me because I wasn't using therapy for its intended purpose and it got in the way of my progress. But, I guess, they did not see that so much and also, why would they get rid of the easy income?

There are certainly many stories here on PC about Ts terminating clients and I am always astonished that sometimes they do that for the wrongest reasons such as SH and being suicidal. Situations where a client would need help the most. I mean, what is therapy for if not to support people that deal with the most disturbing thoughts and feelings and clearly reach out (go to therapy)? But unfortunately many don't want to take responsibility and/or cannot tolerate the discomfort of neediness, not knowing what to do and how to help. I did not experience it myself but the impression I get from PC is that Ts often give up on clients driven by their own discomfort and incompetence but too often do not admit the cluelessness openly, leaving the client with even more serious confusion and hurt. Also, not surprisingly, it is often the most vulnerable clients that receive this treatment... and the ones who fear it happening the most.

I think you make a good point about the client's wishes or perception of progress. I wonder if it happens that clients actually think they are making progress but their therapists do not. I don't feel like I have heard many stories of that kind of termination, at least here on this board.

But I don't know that it would be best to force therapists to continue to work with specific clients if the therapist doesn't think it is helping. I think professionals of any kind get to use their judgment about when and who they can work with, and forcing them to continue makes them more like slaves than professionals. I can't imagine anything therapeutic could possibly happen when the therapist doesn't want to be there. For me this would be far more painful than being rejected and abandoned.

I very much agree with this, in principle. I also don't like (and after a while usually refuse) to work in conditions where there is no productivity - what's the point? I also don't think simply just providing a place to go is usually positive if there is no change and progress otherwise. The question is the nature of the judgment they use though. There are enough stories here where clients were terminated in very messy ways and at the most difficult times, without even getting a chance to discuss and clarify. Well, it is of course not easy to judge what was truly going on via a forum like this, hearing just one side of the story. But still... I at least do not believe that professionals always use reasonable and responsible judgment just because they are professionals.

I wasn't saying anything about forcing therapists to work with any given client. Just rejecting the idea that there's a legitimate ethical imperative to stop just because the therapist perceives a lack of progress. A therapist can technically stop seeing a client for just about any reason, but that doesn't make it ethical and it doesn't mean they're exercising sound or appropriate clinical judgment. I think not wanting to see a client could be a legitimate reason to refer out, but blaming it on an imaginary ethical obligation connected to lack of progress seems inappropriate and potentially really damaging to the client.

Therapists deciding to "give up" on a client because they see no "progress" is ******** imo. How is this not another evidence that therapy is always for the benefit of the therapist? They don't find themselves motivated enough, they feel ineffective, don't get anything out of it anymore so goodbye.

Why are you so anti-therapy? Several of your posts now have had that slant. I’m sorry if you had a bad experience. I hope you will one day have a good one.

From personal experience: aggressively questioning my therapy treatment, not getting over things I was upset with her about fast enough, anger in most forms, and not quietly keeping an insubordinate role... I’m sure there are others. Giving up meant she would make my sessions so uncomfortable and painful that I’d have to leave on my own.

I was told early on that if I ever self-harmed or did anything more severe I’d need a higher level of care. Though she seemed to imply she’d keep working with me at the same time?

I'm not sure I would call it giving up but my T would stop seeing me if he would think that it does not benefit me. Or if I would become physically aggressive towards him. That's it, I believe.

Maybe if I keep skipping sessions, but even then I know he'd still see me 2 or 6 months down the line if I did that. I asked him this previously early on- he said something like if started taking drugs (not medication) as wouldn't be the best T.

But what about a situation where the T feels the therapy is counter-productive? Is there an ethical obligation to refer then? The problem is that most of us get 'worse' before we get 'better'...Sometimes progress is undone by the uncontrollable realities of life. So how do you judge progress or harm in an ethically objective way? My T and I talk about this more in terms of 'hope' than progress.

To SummerTime12 - wow, do I understand what you're talking about. I am certain every day my T is going to kick me out because _________ (fill in the blank). I'm so glad your T is reassuring you that's not going to happen. I'm sure it's hard to trust that, but the fact that you're still going to therapy is probably a huge source of hope for your T, and is progress just in it's own right! Despite everything else, you haven't quit yet!! Can you imagine how much strength you have to keep going??

I think my T would have a hard time continuing if I was repeatedly dishonest with her. But even then, it would be a long process of working through it before anything happened.

I had one say, " until you can control your addictions, i cant help you" i gambled 3 times in the previous year, and was drinking about 4 times every 2 weeks. I had another tell me"your burning me out" so with current T of all most 5 years, yes it still comes in as a conversation evey few sessions.i seem to be waiting for her to drop the ball.

SummerTime, you deserve a therapist who will stick with you and support you, and I'm so glad your therapist is doing the right thing and staying in your corner during this difficult time. I hope you're doing better than you were the other day. You deserve help and care and I hope you're getting everything you need right now.

I've definitely had worries in the past about therapists giving up or getting fed up with me when I needed them most. The good ones never did, not even a little bit.