[piggy momma]

I’ve been thinking about some of the people on this forum who really struggle to talk with therapists, sometimes about more awkward things and other times just regular stuff. And my heart goes out to you.

I am wondering if I have the opposite problem - I am wondering if I tell him too much.

Is that even possible? Is it possible to tell your therapist too much? Sometimes I don’t talk a lot in session but I will send him an email that rambles on forever. I’m a pretty open book but I’m wondering if there are things he just doesn’t really need to know.

What are your thoughts?

I don't communicate very well in session and I am often stilted and wordless. However, I have noticed that when I do speak more, the most important elements of what I am saying are lost amongst the other noise of the session and I find it hard to confidently re-raise them. I don't think there is such a thing as talking too much, but I do think that a lot of words make it harder (for client and therapist) to identify the most significant elements. There are lots of potential distractions.

[Salmon77]

A lot of superficial talk can prevent you from getting deeper into real issues. It can be a defense mechanism. I don't know if that's the case for you but it's worth asking how much of what you're saying is important, or if you're avoiding one topic by rambling about something else.

[koru_kiwi]

Originally Posted by Salmon77

A lot of superficial talk can prevent you from getting deeper into real issues. It can be a defense mechanism. I don't know if that's the case for you but it's worth asking how much of what you're saying is important, or if you're avoiding one topic by rambling about something else.

honestly, i struggle to be around people who talk too much, especially if it is superficial, because i sense they are uncomfortable and are using it as a defense mechanism to hide behind. it makes me question who they really are, what their motivations are, and i struggle to trust them. it definitely hinders me from wanting to form a more intimate relationship with them because often they are too busy rambling on about themselves to even give a rats arse about me and my feelings.

do you think you are over talking as a way to mask your true self or to keep people at a distance , even in therapy?

[zapatoes]

Talking too much, bleh, me I’m too quiet or so have been told. Really I do appreciate when people say things meaningful and don’t blather on incessantly. Although there is something to be said for talking through things to help a person work through an issue. When I went to counseling in the past I found the silences during session uncomfortable. When I write I can go on and on, but in person especially when I don’t know someone well or even when I do I struggle to want to talk and discuss things.

[piggy momma]

Originally Posted by koru_kiwi

honestly, i struggle to be around people who talk too much, especially if it is superficial, because i sense they are uncomfortable and are using it as a defense mechanism to hide behind. it makes me question who they really are, what their motivations are, and i struggle to trust them. it definitely hinders me from wanting to form a more intimate relationship with them because often they are too busy rambling on about themselves to even give a rats arse about me and my feelings.

do you think you are over talking as a way to mask your true self or to keep people at a distance , even in therapy?

Well, first of all, when I'm at therapy, it IS about me, so I have every right to ramble on.

But, what I meant was, I tell my therapist EVERYTHING that happens in my life. I don't hold back anything. He does a lot of the talking a lot of the time, but when I do talk, he gets the good, the bad, and the ugly. I just wonder if he needs this much info. I am going to talk about it with him, but I also just wondered if others have the same experiences. How much time to people say "whoa. Too much information. Sorry about that."

[Pennster]

I can relate. But then one time i told my therapist that I thought I had talked too much in a previous session. He responded by saying, “you talked too much? To your therapist?” As if the very concept befuddled him. So I never worried about it again.

[koru_kiwi]

Originally Posted by piggy momma

Well, first of all, when I'm at therapy, it IS about me, so I have every right to ramble on.

hehe...true!

Originally Posted by piggy momma

But, what I meant was, I tell my therapist EVERYTHING that happens in my life. I don't hold back anything. He does a lot of the talking a lot of the time, but when I do talk, he gets the good, the bad, and the ugly. I just wonder if he needs this much info. I am going to talk about it with him, but I also just wondered if others have the same experiences. How much time to people say "whoa. Too much information. Sorry about that."

thanks for the clarification. i'm sure your T appreciates that he is not having to 'pull teeth' to get info out of you. i definilty challenged my T often when i clammed up.