[Rive1976]

Tommorow is the day my T talks to my mom. If it doesnt snow. Also I remembered something really weird I know s real. I dont know if I should tell her and risk embarrassment.

[growlycat]

Do you mean something to tell your mom or your therapist?

I always found family therapy stressful

[Rive1976]

My mom is meeting with my therapist at 11 and then I go in at 12. If it doesnt snow. This thing I remembered I dont know whether to tell my therapist because it is embarrassing and I am not sure its important. She might just look at me like youre stupid.

[growlycat]

Aww I don’t think a good t would think something is stupid if it is bothering you. Do you get along with your t? Did you talk to her about what you do want to share with your mom and what you don’t want to share?

I used to let my mom sometimes talk to my t when I was in my teens. It helps to talk to t first about what is ok to share and what isn’t.

If you trust your therapist maybe try telling her what is bothering you?

[velcro003]

anytime i said i thought somethig i was about to say was stupid or dumb or anything like that, my T disagreed with me, and she always followed it with thoughtful and therapeutic content, like she really didn't think it was stupid.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by growlycat

Aww I don’t think a good t would think something is stupid if it is bothering you. Do you get along with your t? Did you talk to her about what you do want to share with your mom and what you don’t want to share?

I used to let my mom sometimes talk to my t when I was in my teens. It helps to talk to t first about what is ok to share and what isn’t.

If you trust your therapist maybe try telling her what is bothering you?

She is supposed to call be early in the morning so we can discuss it.

[growlycat]

Maybe write down a list of what you’d like to tell your therapist?

[Ididitmyway]

Your T talks to your mom? So, you are a minor? Under 18? Sorry, I just didn't know that. I thought you were legally adult.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

Your T talks to your mom? So, you are a minor? Under 18? Sorry, I just didn't know that. I thought you were legally adult.

I am an adult. I gave my therapist written permission to talk to her after her asking me several times to get information about me as a child.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by growlycat

Maybe write down a list of what you’d like to tell your therapist?

Thanks, i did

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by Dnester

I am an adult. I gave my therapist written permission to talk to her after her asking me several times to get information about me as a child.

That's a strange request from a therapist..And the strangest thing is that her conversations with your mom don't happen in your presence. I don't see any legitimate reason for a therapist a) to bring the client's relative into an individual therapy if the client is an adult and b) to talk to the client's relative if the client is not present..Something seems fishy here..

[velcro003]

My T would like to talk to my mom to help fill in the gaps i am missing in my childhood-and it would be on the phone, not w me there. I wouldn’t want to be, but i refused her offer anyway.

[SlumberKitty]

I think I would be nervous if my T wanted to talk to my parent(s). My former T wanted to talk to my parents regarding some childhood issues but I wouldn't let her. Kit.

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

I think I would be nervous if my T wanted to talk to my parent(s). My former T wanted to talk to my parents regarding some childhood issues but I wouldn't let her. Kit.

I'd take it further. If any of my Ts had ever wanted to talk to my parents for any reason that would've been the end of therapy right there. None of my Ts had such an idea and I had not been suggested or instructed to do such a thing in my professional training ever. The boundaries of individual therapy with adult clients were absolutely clear in my training.

[ArtleyWilkins]

From the sounds of it, the OP was asked and granted permission for her therapist to speak with her mother; it wasn't a requirement. Since this is something they discussed and the OP chose to have this happen, it isn't particularly a boundary crossing as far as I can tell. All that said, in this particular situation, if I was the OP I wouldn't want my parents speaking to my therapist if I wasn't present simply because it sounds like this particular parent is rather unreliable to say the least. It is unclear whether the meeting outside the OP's presence is okay with her or not. I would hope that was a discussion the OP and her therapist had and that this arrangement was one she was okay with.

A therapist speaking with parents, even of an adult client, isn't necessarily a bad thing. Not all parent relationships are dysfunctional, and family support can be extremely helpful. I just am not sure at all that in this case this particular parent can be trusted to be honest, nor does it seem at all that the parent is a healthy support to the OP. The therapist doesn't seem to be taking that into account in this situation, and that feels all sorts of uncomfortable.

I hope you get something useful out of your Ts session with your mom. I would not allow that to happen without my presence either but understand the purpose in your specific case. Hopefully the T will be honest in using whatever info she obtained.

[Rive1976]

She talked to her. Gave her some info that was false but not a big deal and was about my adulthood. Then she said something about a hill of dirt at my Daycare and some other girls took my clothes and I was there naked. Nothing I remember. Nothing helpful. I chose not to be at that session and I had to sign a release of information. I just felt it would be very uncomfortable to be in there with her since we dont have a good relationship anyway. My therapist was just looking for answers to some of my thoughts and behaviors. She thought maybe she would remember something I dont but it was a waste basically.

[velcro003]

that sucks, i'm sorry to hear that dnester.