[justbreathe1994]

I got a text today from T telling me she talking to my ex T. I am really struggling. She told me that she would let me know when they talked because I was so anxious in the waiting. She knows I am anxious about her talking to ex T because I’m worried she will change her mind about working with me After hearing what ex T has to say about me and working together. This is going to sound rediculous that I’m triggered by it, but T told me in the text that it was pretty standard. I’m worried that the conversation was totally indifferent and ex T expressed no caring at all, like a totally cold professional with no feelings for me at all. I know I’m drawing a billion conclusions from one simple word - “Standard” - but I am missing her so much and knowing she talked to ex T felt like a tiny bit of connection I had left to hold onto.

[MoxieDoxie]

It is not standard for a new T to talk to an ex-T. They only will if the client feels it will be helpful otherwise they like to form their own diagnosis by what they see.

[precaryous]

This has not been the standard in my experience, either.

You don’t have to let your t talk to ex t. Did you sign a release?
You can revoke your release.

[downandlonely]

Yes, I have never heard of a new T talking to an ex-T. But when I switch, I usually cut things off entirely.

[nottrustin]

My situation was a bit different because I was Rmtarting with a second T rather than having an ex-T. They talked twice and both told me what they discussed. Both said the same things using different wording. They discussed what T and I were working on, how much I had accomplished, how she could trust me when I told her I was safe. They also discussed some of my struggles but that I worked hard. I don't know if that is standard or not, though.

[Taylor27]

I hope it will help you and t move forward. I never wanted my pyschologist to talk to my old t there was too much boundary crossing that would of caused me problems with my current therapist. I hope it was just a standard call between the two of them hugs

[LonesomeTonight]

My T wanted to talk to my then-current marriage counselor and possibly to ex-T. I made him wait for a month or two to talk to MC, then never gave him permission to talk to ex-T. I wanted him to form his own impression of me first.

[piggy momma]

I'm curious - did you sign a release for each of them allowing them to discuss you? If they did not EACH get a signed release, that is a huge problem.

But also - I would be hugely distressed if my current T talked to my former T. Can you get a session asap so you can talk to your T and have your nerves calmed a bit? That might help. Otherwise, as hard as it is, try not to obsess over it at this point.

What's the purpose of therapists talking to each other about a previous/new client? Can't they think for themselves?

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by piggy momma

I'm curious - did you sign a release for each of them allowing them to discuss you? If they did not EACH get a signed release, that is a huge problem.

But also - I would be hugely distressed if my current T talked to my former T. Can you get a session asap so you can talk to your T and have your nerves calmed a bit? That might help. Otherwise, as hard as it is, try not to obsess over it at this point.

I only had to sign one release, incidentally.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

I only had to sign one release, incidentally.

I suppose it could depend on where you live. Here the releases are frequently written so one can give and receive information from the other person. In which case they can give the other person a copy of the release. Some prefer to have their own release but it is not required.

A person can have a one way release but that only allows them to give or receive information.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

I suppose it could depend on where you live. Here the releases are frequently written so one can give and receive information from the other person. In which case they can give the other person a copy of the release. Some prefer to have their own release but it is not required.

A person can have a one way release but that only allows them to give or receive information.

The form my T had included a bunch of options. That he could just receive information, just give information, or exchange information. And then it had a space where it could say "Information limited to __________ topic." Because it included both what he and other therapist (or p-doc) could and couldn't share, I think it alone was sufficient. Also, when I revoked his ability to talk to ex-MC (after we terminated), he said the email I sent him was enough for that, as it was in writing.

[piggy momma]

I was just in a situation where I had to give my T a release to talk to my employer. I also gave my employer a copy of the release. It was open - he could talk about anything he felt was relevant to my case, but I put a specific expiry date on it.

[justbreathe1994]

Sorry i think I may have worded my post in a confusing way. I get that not all Ts need to talk to previous providers, so the fact they talked is not necessarily a “standard”, but my T meant that what was said in the conversation was standard. It was partly my choice to have ex T talk to new T. Partly because I’m still very attached to her and partly because I’m hoping new T will help me process the closure and termination with ex T and partly because I don’t want to repete the same patterns with new T.