Couch 184: Welcome to Zanzibar!

Woo-hoo!!! You did it!!!!!

I just love these dancing chili's. They make me happy.

I love them too!

I understand this. It makes me think of what I was trying to describe to my T yesterday where I'd felt a particular connection to him when we discussed stuff with my D's autism. I said he just seemed different in those conversations but didn't know how to explain it. In terms of the stuff with personal life, I've at times noted sadness in the eyes. I remember telling ex-T that I noticed sadness in the eyes of ex-MC, and she said I was very observant (I later learned his wife was dying...) I feel I've noticed some sadness with current T lately but feel weird bringing it up because he's fairly private about his personal life. And just saying "you seem sad" or "You seem kind of darker lately," I don't know how he'd take that. So it's an awkward situation. Just attempting to say I understand what you're talking about.

If you put too many dancing chillis in a row it skips the graphic and just gives you the code for a few of them

I'm trying to distract myself from distressing thoughts by watching the apprentice honest subtitles

Is that what it is? I dont think thats what it is. I think we are so used to being TOLD what we want (which is, whatever the asker really wants), that when we are ASKED what we want, and the asker didnt state a preference AS THEY USUALLY DO, we are at a loss as to what to do. Most of our usual askers are aware they do this - they know they play puppet-master.

Sorry, i dont mean to put my stuff on you! This is strictly how i feel in this kind of situation. My t learned not to give me choices if he didnt want to wait all day!

My T is very private too. The other day i did learn that a member of his immediate family had a serious health scare earlier in the year so that was probably it. My T looked sad was distracted, was visibly tired, rubbing his face. I really feel he should have just taken time off as i felt my sessions about that ime were wasted and even told him that and he got a bit defensive. Thats when i thought i might see someone else. Thanks for understanding.

I am like that. My T once rang and asked if i would swap a session and me being the peopel pleaser i am said yes, but later changed my mind, so we agreed that he would not ask me to change sessions anymore

I don't know for sure if that's what it is. I know my mind goes back and forth like, "Well, if I go tomorrow, then I can get the thoughts out then, especially since I'm supposed to meet a friend for coffee Friday morning. And I see T for regular session Monday anyway." Brain: "But then, what if ex-MC writes back Thursday night? Or I'm in a bad place then for other reasons. Should I wait till Friday?"

But you're right, it could be, I'm used to someone (my parents, etc.) saying what they want or prefer. And T actually included "Either one is OK" just to make it more difficult! I'm just horribly indecisive in general, partly due to anxiety, and worry about making the wrong choice. If he'd suggested a slight preference, I'd have gone with that of course. But I don't know. So I told him tomorrow.

This has happened to me, too. I work freelance from home, so am generally flexible. And I've made changes before if my T has asked (usually just a shift of an hour or two). But the one time, fairly recently, he asked, and it really would have been kind of inconvenient for me. So I said I'd rather not, and he worked it out, letting me keep my scheduled time.

Hope you're okay Whispershadow Kit

Thanks for the new couch una!

CE no the accident was not near a bank. Anyway most of banks are in shopping centres now.

So if I cry in response to what's basically a scheduling email, with the addition of a pleasantry, "Hope you've had an OK couple of days," that's probably a sign I'm not in a very good place...Seeing T tomorrow. (Normally, he'd just say "confirmed" possibly "confirmed, see you tomorrow.")

Honestly, i wont even choose a movie or a restaurant, even if given a choice between two. I always choose the wrong one. Its the other persons fault.

On my own, im FINE and i have a great time.

I can only stomach roasted Brussels sprouts. The boiled ones from my childhood were just awful.

I'm coming over to try the grilled ones!

Trigger for weightloss:

I now need to work on quitting smoking. Have to wait for insurance to approve the nose spray.

My therapist asked today if I was open to going to a grief group. I told him yes. I don't know if he means like a therapist led group or just a support group. Has anyone gone to one? Did it help?

I haven't myself, but after my Dad passed away my Mom went to a grief share group. it was very helpful for her, so helpful in fact that now she helps lead the group.

Time to head to school for the last night of my Stats class. So glad!! The prof said last week that if we want to stay and wait, she'll grade our final exams so we can know our grade for the class. I plan to!

Good Luck Artie, but you really don't need luck, because you so got this!!!! Kit

Thats great! My doctor gave me THREE times that to lose that amount. I think he knows im resistant and old. But this gives me hope!

OMG!!! You are not going to believe the outcome of final jeopardy today!!!

Its like the north and south pole switched polarity!
Its like Hillary won the election.
I am just... overwhelmed.
If you are a fan of big bang theory, you should not miss it.

I can die happy now.

I've just been doing protein shake with mct powder, protein bars, and finding easy dinners. The key is to keep carbs down way low. I've been making turkey chili, taco salads, shredded mexican chicken, meatballs, tortilla pizza, shrimp...all easy recipes. I never thought I could lose weight. I thought I was doing enough, but I was still eating carbs. I haven't had rice, pasta, bread, or cereal in 3 weeks. It's a little hard, but once you find foods you like, it's not too bad.

You can do it, Unaluna!