[Out There]

Anyone here has been or feel they've been the victim of malicious termination ? I can't find much searching online , so if any T's or trainee T's would like to chime in that would be most welcome.

I haven't but apparently unfair or poorly executed terminations are one of the main themes on this forum. What counts as malicious?

[Crook32]

Deleted wrong topic

[piggy momma]

I noticed you posted this in the Psychotherapy forum. Are you talking about termination from work or therapy?

[Out There]

Originally Posted by piggy momma

I noticed you posted this in the Psychotherapy forum. Are you talking about termination from work or therapy?

I'm surprised you're even asking to be honest. I would have thought it was obvious. But , nonetheless , for people that need clarification , I am referring to termination from therapy.

[DP_2017]

I had a sudden and hurtful one but not sure I'd classify it as vindictive or malicious. Sorry I'm not much help

[Out There]

Originally Posted by Crook32

Deleted wrong topic

Totally OK Crook - work issues are just as painful and the feelings are the same. Sorry you're going through that.

[winterblues17]

Mine has been hurtful and left me with even less trust about ppl leaving me etc but thankfully neither vindictive or malicious.
I'm sorry if you are going through that yourself because I know how hard and devastating even a so called 'good' terminaton can be.

[Ididitmyway]

As a previous poster, I've also experienced sudden and hurtful termination, which felt like rejection, but I didn't feel anything vindictive about it. It felt like I was just too much for the therapist to deal with.

[Out There]

It's not so much the T can't deal with , it's more like throwing all your toys out of the pram and acting very hastily.

[starfishing]

I had a termination happen once that I would classify as somewhat vindictive, though because of the precise circumstances it wasn't nearly as negatively impact for me as it could have been. I had started seeing a psychiatrist who did both med management and therapy. After a few sessions we had a conflict over a medication issue, wherein he said some utterly ridiculous and incorrect things and we argued back and forth some. A couple of sessions later, after we'd hashed out a more reasonable medication strategy, we had what felt to me like a calm and reasonable conversation about the conflict--until he suddenly blew up at me, yelling about how if I wasn't able to trust his judgment then we shouldn't be doing therapy, and that we should scale back to medications only. I was somewhat stunned but agreed, since I wasn't going to argue with him that he should be my therapist, and I didn't want to have to suddenly find a new psychiatrist since it had been very, very difficult to find someone who took my insurance and whose schedule I could work with. I showed up for my next appointment and had barely sat down when he handed me a termination letter, and waited for me to read it rather than even just saying it out loud. It certainly felt vindictive, especially when he basically said that I'd questioned him too much and therefore he didn't want to treat me anymore. In retrospect, I dodged a bullet by not getting into any depth with him with therapy, but at the time it felt pretty awful. Not to mention the stress of having to find a new med prescriber ASAP.

Oh, and for an extra bonus, of the three referrals he included in the termination letter to meet ethics standards, two of them were clinics he knew I currently worked at or with and therefore couldn't use as a patient. The third was someone I knew was a) no longer in clinical practice and b) no longer lived in our state. When I told him this, he laughed and said I was being silly by "refusing" to receive care from colleagues, even though I had been clear that it wasn't just my personal preference (though that would have been a valid enough reason) but rather actual clinic policy that barred me from being a patient there.

[atisketatasket]

I think Smaug’s termination of me might have been vindictive. (Short version, she claimed I was suicidal, she had little basis for thinking that, refused to believe I wasn’t suicidal, insisted I come in for an emergency session—either the next day or “next week.” )

I don’t know that it was consciously vindictive. Just that she wanted to smack me down for daring to defy her.

[Out There]

I would agree that was somewhat vindictive. Maybe we expect professionals not to behave like that , and then it's stunning when they do. In my case , the lack of psychological maturity being displayed is phenomenal. Thank you so much for sharing your story , it's helped with processing this.

[Out There]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I think Smaug’s termination of me might have been vindictive. (Short version, she claimed I was suicidal, she had little basis for thinking that, refused to believe I wasn’t suicidal, insisted I come in for an emergency session—either the next day or “next week.” )

I don’t know that it was consciously vindictive. Just that she wanted to smack me down for daring to defy her.

I think I've been smacked down for daring to defy someone ( it was more a reality check and a few truth bombs ) , probably wasn't consciously vindictive in my case either. Thanks ATAT.

[SalingerEsme]

Out There, I hope you are okay. I have lots of fear of my T doing this, and I would be disoriented, defiant, and mainly brokenhearted.

[Echos Myron redux]

Originally Posted by Out There

I would agree that was somewhat vindictive. Maybe we expect professionals not to behave like that , and then it's stunning when they do. In my case , the lack of psychological maturity being displayed is phenomenal. Thank you so much for sharing your story , it's helped with processing this.

You obviously don't have to say, but I'm wondering if this is about your regular T or EMDR T? I hope you are okay.

[Out There]

Thanks , it wasn't actually my T , it was taken out of his hands , someone who didn't know me one iota did it. I think the fear is there with a lot of us with rejection and abandonment - then when it happens....

[Echos Myron redux]

Originally Posted by Out There

Thanks , it wasn't actually my T , it was taken out of his hands , someone who didn't know me one iota did it. I think the fear is there with a lot of us with rejection and abandonment - then when it happens....

Wow that's awful! So sorry. I know you and your T did such good work together

[Out There]

Originally Posted by Echos Myron redux

You obviously don't have to say, but I'm wondering if this is about your regular T or EMDR T? I hope you are okay.

Thanks Echos - it was EMDR T's boss ( then I don't get to process the trauma with EMDR T ) talk about a paradox. There was no problem with the T at all and I'm pissed to have the good work we were doing truncated like that. I always think it's tough on the T as well when this happens , not being able to continue or finish properly. Disrespectful to both T and client.

[Echos Myron redux]

Originally Posted by Out There

Thanks Echos - it was EMDR T's boss ( then I don't get to process the trauma with EMDR T ) talk about a paradox. There was no problem with the T at all and I'm pissed to have the good work we were doing truncated like that. I always think it's tough on the T as well when this happens , not being able to continue or finish properly. Disrespectful to both T and client.

Yeah I agree. It's just awful. The relationship is co-created between the two of you, for someone else to come in and sever it without a good reason is an abuse of power.

Originally Posted by Out There

Anyone here has been or feel they've been the victim of malicious termination ? I can't find much searching online , so if any T's or trainee T's would like to chime in that would be most welcome.

Yup. I'm on my 3rd T in 8 months because the first 2 jumped ship from the therapy center without so much as a **** you or bye felicia...but it's all good because the one I have now is the one I truly needed...so sometimes things happen for a reason. Hope you find the right T for you.

[starfishing]

Originally Posted by Out There

I would agree that was somewhat vindictive. Maybe we expect professionals not to behave like that , and then it's stunning when they do. In my case , the lack of psychological maturity being displayed is phenomenal. Thank you so much for sharing your story , it's helped with processing this.

I'm glad it was helpful, and sorry you're going through a situation that sounds really awful. The one saving grace of my experience was that it happened fairly early on in the therapeutic relationship; I know it would have been much more difficult and terrible feeling if I'd had more trust and vulnerability established and had invested more into that therapist.

There has been one silver lining--sometimes stories of bad past experiences make a great litmus test for potential new therapists. I was apprehensive about telling my current therapist about that particular misadventure of vindictive termination, but I ended up blurting it out in our first or second session because it was so specifically relevant to a question he asked. Two years later, I can still picture exactly how my current therapist reacted--his eyes bugged out with horror, he asked a bunch of incredulous questions about whether the ****** therapist was extremely inexperienced (he wasn't), responded warmly but laughed enthusiastically at the jokes I made about it. It was one of the moments that really cemented the fact that my current therapist was a good egg, and really helped to let me know I could start building trust with him.

[AnnaBegins]

My ex-T told me that he was too busy dating to continue to support me in any other way than weekly sessions (this in comparison to him texting me every single day and chatting with me almost every single night for over six YEARS), then no-showed for a regular session and didn't respond to any of my attempts to contact him for a week, then told me that what was going on had nothing to do with me and that he would let me know when he could talk with / meet with me again and then ghosted me. No termination session, no letter, no explanation, no referrals.

My life completely fell apart when that happened. If it wasn't vindictive or malicious, it was just as bad as if it had been.

[SalingerEsme]

AB, I wish you had reported him. My heart hurts over the way he abandoned you after crazy-loose & chaotic boundaries.

[AnnaBegins]

Originally Posted by SalingerEsme

AB, I wish you had reported him. My heart huts over the way he abandoned you after crazy-loose boundaries.

I'm working on that but...I feel worse for doing it. One because I have to keep reliving everything that happened with him as I gather documentation. Two because...deep down inside I know it was my fault for being the kind of POS that can't even pay someone to put up with her as is and reporting him feels like I'm not accepting responsibility for that.