Couch 185: The Labyrinth

Quite so. But it is an interesting question why people are still using Latin slogans half way round the globe and centuries later, even after the Protestant Reformation removed Latin from our churches.


And of all history's assassins, why is Brutus still our favourite?


These are possible answer to the question "Why study Rome?"

i sort of want to make a thread about this, but afraid it will get deleted bc it isn't exactly *about* therapy.

i really want to know how *normal* it is to miss years of your childhood in memory? i remember 1 or 2 things from 3-11 years old, but a large majority is completely empty. i have no sense of myself as a child. it drives me crazy.

Latin sounds smart.

Although I don’t know why Michigan felt compelled to put its motto in Latin: Si quaeris peninsulam amoenam circumspice. (“If you seek a pleasant peninsula, look around.”).

That could be VERY relevant to therapy. Could be trauma.

I really want to act out.

I wonder what would happen if I egged the therapist's car.

It would freeze and wreck the paint? And it would be caught on googlecam no doubt.

yeah, i've had a couple Ts suggest this...but it just doesn't seem likely with the rest of my memory of my childhood.

I live at the beach. I don't think it's cold enough here to freeze an egg. Rarely, anyway.

I would need to do this in the middle of the day as I'm not a stalker to go to her house and do it. So I would certainly be seen.

Yes.

I could stroll into her office and suggest she go have a look at her car. Then watch through the window.

Omg this one kid in our grade school class used to say that all the frick frack freaking time. Like it was a prayer. Catholic school.

Or put salt in her tea.

I think it is normal

I suffer from this too. I have like the highlights but I don't really have a whole sense of myself or my parents. I wasn't abused as a child, but I do think my childhood was really stressful for me because we moved a lot, like almost every year up until 8th grade. Several of these moves were in the middle of the school year also and as an introvert I had a hard time with all this. This is my hypothesis for this issue anyway.

As an example, something that recently came up in therapy. We moved from the city to a suburb of the city and were in this new home for maybe half a year before we moved to another state. This was 5th grade, so old enough to have good memories of a place. I remember this 2-story, big, white house. That's it. I can't remember what my bedroom looked like, how the house was laid out, I couldn't even tell you if it had a kitchen because I can't remember it. I feel like there's something wrong with me because I can't remember stuff like this. I know other people can. I keep hoping my therapist will offer up some answer on this for me. I'm sorry you struggle with something similar.

Velcro I have similar lapses. Pre-PC I thought it was memory loss, but now I figure I dissociated a lot as a kid. My sister has a memory like a steel trap, mine is swiss cheese.

You dont remember your clothes, or anything about school? Breakfast, lunch, or dinner? Television? When the mail came? Did you have a bicycle? Kids on the block? Shopping? I realize a lot of these are "Leave it to Beaver" era experiences. Have you tried writing about a typical day? I cant even imagine what this would be like - for me, the events in my mind have always been like they happened yesterday.

Eta - my brother doesnt remember what i do.

Whoops, wrong board.

You really can remember all of that? wow.

How long is T away for?

Can you email T2 if you need to reach out?

I like the show so far. He does creepy very well.

Double wow! It's normal if you identify with cptsd symptoms. Not saying it's necessary to have to identify but it is a recognised component.

Can't remember....Sorry lol. Am in a funny mood as didn't sleep.

Not remembering is a recognised component. Because of the dissociation, albeit it depends how intense and/or ongoing one's dissociation was. Also depression contributes to memory loss so if one had both as a child then Swiss cheese memory.

Hi couch, am on my sofa mainlining coffee and trying to find the wherewithal to respond in an adult manner to docs- need to get another doc email.

Btw he raised it in person but he knows I dissociate and don't hear things that trigger me so he's followed up with email. Which is f annoying as can't ignore it.

My options are lie on the couch and get in a deeper spiral as the hours pass, cutting off my nose to spite my face cause I want to show him how much he's hurt me or get up, go garden, which always puts me in a better mood, see him, talk over the email, get my Christmas present from him (well from all the surgery as he keeps emphasing) and hopefully feel better. At the moment I'm even jettisoning walking the dog (he can come with but it's only 7 mins walk) and showering (did yesterday afternoon so hardly smelly). So I've removed all barriers.

Couchies- kick up the ***?

I always really hate changing t, but i also always like the next one better.

Waterloo - please try to avoid the spiral. Start with the gardening, and see how you feel.

Thanks guys. I just wrote my feelings to him. For me it acts like a safe way to feel and process cause he's there with me. I also then went on to I guess rationalise the thoughts that led to those feelings. So I've forced self to recognise the emotional flashback and try and manage it with his support. Made me feel raw and vulnerable but the freezing response has dissipated enough for me to overcome. I'm going to shower now huggggggggggssssssssss. Writing it here was a step in writing to him so glad this and you are all here.

Hugs Waterloo