So angry right now

Is it possible that the difference between your grades and the other persons grade that before anything was weighted or received extra credit you had an 80 but then once he factored everything in, your grade was brought up to an A-. Your classmate had a 76 before everything else and didnt receive as much "extra" points and consequently final grade was only brought up to a B-?

Maybe it isnt als about financial reasons but rather what have the least impact. The issue seems to be the professor role. If I remember correctly, there will be other opportunities to take the class with different instructors. How easy would it be to get another T?

You know, this whole attitude just irks me.

Sometimes in college, you have to take classes with an instructor who just sucks. That's just the way it is. Sometimes you have to take classes and know from reputation that it's likely your grade won't be what you normally make. That's just the way it is. Sometimes you put your best effort into a course and get an 89.4 so the professor gives you a B rather than curving up .1 a point to get you that A (just happened to my son). That's just the way it is. Most of us who have college degrees are well aware of this fact. I had a few instructors I just dreaded, but the course was required and there was no getting around it. What I tended to do was try to make the best of it: Learn what I could, adapt what I was learning to be more relevant for my degree goals, and still work to get the grade that showed my quality. It might not be an A because that instructor just wasn't going to make that a possibility, but at least I knew I put in my effort. I wasn't going to waste my time or my money in doing a half-baked job out of spite. If that course had material in any way relevant to my degree, I was going to get something out of it; it might not be the grade I wanted, but I was going to find material of relevance at least.

There were courses I was perfectly fine getting a B in because they weren't relevant to my field in the long-run or I could accept a B when I was taking 18 hours and a B was excellent under the circumstances. Heck, I was even thrilled to get a C in chemistry (I hate chemistry) and I think my professor had pity on me and gave me that C. LOL!

But to just not put effort in because you won't get the grade you want seems petty, entitled, and irresponsible. I'm sorry to be so frank, but if these courses are in your major field, you owe it to yourself and your future clients to do your best. Would you want a therapist who decided, "Meh, I won't put effort into my psychology classes since I won't get an A anyway"?

Find a new therapist if this guy is the only professor for these classes. Put in your best effort into your coursework for your major, even if you don't get that A. Therapy is probably short-term; your career is hopefully long-term. Find your priority and go with that.

I thought she said this guy is the only instructor for these courses because this is a small college. I could be wrong.

That's a lovely attitude, and contradicts your earlier post:

TBH, I don't know why you want him as a therapist if you have so little respect for him as a teacher but either way I fail to see how attending his classes but not making any effort is going to have anything other than a negative impact on your future career (and your therapy).

I thought there was a post where it was stated that op could take the class another semester with a different instructor. I definitely could ne wrong.

Piggymomma....

question will it hurt him or you that you take a class but dont put in the effort required for the class....

he's a teacher. its not going to bother him one bit that you take one of his classes next semester and as you say....

"He's asked me to withdraw from his classes next semester. I'm not going to. I have every right to take them. But I"m not gonna put a whole lotta of effort into them because I'm gonna get ****** marks for them anyway."

all its going to hurt is you.... you will be sitting in a class fuming about last semesters grading system and how he gave you a B instead of an A.

right now he is giving you a chance to have the time you need to work this out in your own mind.

Also something to consider. if getting a good grade like a B is bothering you and class work gets harder as each semester goes on. how is it going to make you feel when you dont put in any effort and end up with a D or F.

In american schools (elementary, jr high , high school and college) a B is very good. it means you know the material and can do the work. not failing out of the class. and are in some cases the upper percentile of the class, depending upon the grades of your other peers in the class. and you are with in the 85 out of a 100 people that can pass that course. (not everyone is going to get A's and A+'s in college classes. most do get a B (3.0 grade point average) for a final score for a semester in college. my point is your Bis a great score.

my suggestion instead of self sabotaging your education and ending up with a failing grade on your college transcript (which is public for employers and other schools that you may apply to) either consider withdrawing from his class next semester or give it your all.

my choosing to be in a class you dont plan on putting in the effort you are choosing to get a failing grade, choosing to make it harder for you to go on in your education at other schools that will need a copy of your college transcript, and choosing to have future employers question whether or not they want to hire you based on your college transcript that has failing grades on it because you chose to take a class and not put in the effort.

right now the decisions are in your hands and whether you choose to not withdraw but not put in the effort needed will only hurt you not the teacher. I know because there was a time when I was so angry over getting a C- in a class that I was going to do just that.

the good part is that its college a person can if they choose retake a class in an attempt to get a better score. I instead of self sabotaging my education retook the class and the second time around I got a B. No the A I was hoping for but it was better than a C- on my transcript.

I thought so too. So since am consumed with anxiety and trying to distract myself I looked it up. Not exhaustively though. But it appears to have been to the effect that she does not have to take his classes but that it's a small college so common to take 2/3 classes with the same prof as not a lot of choice.

I'm gonna go for a walk - writing that out made me realise quite how unproductively I am using my time.

Hey OP I don't mean to harass by turning detective.

However, he seems to be a good t for you, and I don't see that being substandard in one area means one is substandard in another.

I think it's more difficult to find good Ts than courses and that without a good t it's difficult to get anywhere anyway (in what seems to be your challenging context) so keep him as a t and ditch his classes and go do well with another prof.

He needs to be reported. For what reason does he want you to drop his classes? Is it because he is your therapist? Then HE is the one bringing his employment into the mix when the two should be separate. Im surprised you even continued because the whole thing is a conflict of interest.

Well, I can tell you that your attitude and the sort of perspective you have on grading is not going to get you very far in a grad program.

There is a lot of judgement in this thread which is NOT what I came here for. To those who said something meaningful and thought provoking I thank you. As for the rest of ya...good riddance.

Times have not changed. I've taken classes from 6 different universities in the past 10 years, and the grading scale was what it has always been.

Right, the two should be separate. That doesn't mean having two different relationships and pretending they can be separate. That's why dual-relationships are at best highly discouraged by licensing bodies. The professor is right to take the action he has. He really shouldn't have allowed the dual relationship in the first place.

I am confused. You want to go to a graduate program, that’s why you’re upset about the grades, but you also insist on taking classes in which you’re sure you’ll get bad grades?

The other thing that’s important to graduate admissions is letters of rec. He seems to be one of your main instructors and so an expected reference. Is he going to write you a good reference?

It seems like you can’t be both his client and his student for whatever reason. I’m afraid you’re going to have to choose.

It’s clear that the dual relationship is a big problem for both of you. Why would you insist on taking his class if he doesn’t think it’s healthy and you don’t like his teaching or grading style? It seems that the emotionally mature response would be to not take his course.

While it does seem like there is some confusion over his grading, it would be a better approach to email him individually and ask rather than spearhead an organizing committee of students. That is a really aggressive approach to take before you have all the information. It seems like the most logical thing is that he added the extra credit on top of your numerical scale— thus an 80 plus extra credit became an A- (instead of a B-) and a 76 plus extra credit became a B- (instead of a C). I’m a professor and the online grading program we use makes it very difficult to input extra credit— it just isn’t built for it. So I explain to students that I add extra credit at the very end, on top of their numerical grades. It’s a common practice at my University. Granted, my extra credit is worth 1 or 2%, not 10%, but there may be a simple explanation rather than outright incompetence. Why not calmly ask before appealing to the University? Grade inflation and student entitlement is a serious problem in colleges right now— and creating a big scene when you earned B and C marks but were given As and Bs— seems like it will end badly. Approaching a professor calmly and asking for an explanation seems like the wiser approach.

I admit I’m confused -maybe across the pond here we’re less inclined towards conflict so my thoughts may well be way off beam but -if I remember correctly wasn’t another document presented to this professor listing his failings as a “teacher” -email response times etc and now one about his incorrect gradings and both presented to him by OP? If OP is an agreed spokesperson for the rest of the class on all these matters it could still ,unfortunately ,be misinterpreted as utilising the client privilege of relatively free speech in the therapeutic bubble and transferring that to the real world-kind of like the old fashioned idea of a “teachers pet”
I am in no way defending a professor or therapist I have no personal knowledge of but I think he has no choice but to ask OP to drop out of his future courses-if he had suggested terminating the therapy relationship instead it could have quite rightly been seen as an abandonment-how that relationship can continue to work after this latest issue I have no idea
Whether this dual relationship should ever have started and responsibility etc is not irrelevant either but petulance and entitlement will only hurt OP
I’m sorry if this does come across as supportive at this time but later it will hopefully be seen that way

I tend to think Nietzsche was right when he said something like
“Play with fire with a therapist and YOU will get burned”

This nicely shows your attitude.

It's his fault and a mistake that he took his student as a therapist. That is certainly not right and unethical.
As a professor he should make grading clear and transparent. So yes, these are issues that should be addressed.

On the other hand, I wouldn't complain about getting a B for 80%. In my opinion, that grade is appropriate.

If I were you, I wouldn't take another class with him just because "you have a right". When you know it's going to cause problems for both of you. And you don't even want to put any effort in it? What's the point?
Sometimes in life we have to learn to bite our tongues and just accept what is instead of insisting on our rights and wants. That is a part of becoming an adult, too. Life isn't fair and we can't get what we want all the time even though we are "entitled" to something. That's the reality.

I don't agree with this but if it is true,
with any luck, the therapist may get singed as well.

I think people are doing less judging and more telling you how they see things from a different perspective, as people who have been there as students, especially graduate students who were successful in their programs. There is a lot of wisdom in their words about how to negotiate undergraduate education to be successful in the way you want to be, and if you can squelch the sense of violation and look at it as people who know what they're talking about trying to help you move into a better position to get into graduate school, I think the perspectives are good. They are looking at it from more a long term perspective, encouraging you to maybe think a little deeper about how to approach your education, and even if you choose to continue thinking and doing exactly what you're doing, reflecting on whether it's the best approach isn't such a bad thing, IMO.

Okay, I’ll fall on the sword...
If you need control over how people respond to you, and only want comforting appraisals of how right you are and to get poor-baby pettings, next time complain to your mirror. People are giving you pearls here in the most diplomatic way imaginable, and you just keep shitting on them. They are walking on eggshells trying to find delicate ways to phrase things so they are truthful without being hurtful - and you respond like a bratty child in return.

Nobody on this forum is trying to hurt you - they are trying to get you to see that through your own behavior you are actually hurting yourself. We have all been in similar spots. We understand the intensity of your feelings. Leave yourself open to the idea that there are other ways of dealing with things than creating a shitstorm of disaster around yourself.

He fixed my mark and we’ve put some new boundaries in place going forward - ie he will not be marking my assignments - he will get another prof to do that. Another prof called him out for seeing a student as a client so while we have technically done nothing wrong, we are treading very lightly at least for this next semester.

I'm glad you found a solution that will work better for you. I'm not sure how another prof could know that you were his client unless you revealed this (otherwise he broke confidentiality, which I'm guessing you'd be pissed about). You'd think a psych program might have better ways to handle these matters, but . . . . . I personally would feel uncomfortable with another prof knowing that I saw another prof for therapy when I was a major in a small program at a small school. It feels a little uncontained to me.

He definitely didn’t break confidentiality. I made a very general and vague comment to the other prof and she went all detective and then sent him an email on Friday requesting a meeting with him next Thursday. He’s not allowed to mention my name because that would be a breach and he’s also already contact the College of Psychologists and they’ve said he’s doing nothing wrong. This other prof just got her PhD six weeks ago and is brand new so maybe she’s out to prove something. I don’t know. But we’ve created a system that will work and if there was ever a chance that he was being unethical or could get in to trouble I would bail because I don’t want that for him. He’s a good psychologist and he’s helped me immensely. I’ve also known him for over 15 years and he’s been my prof for four months. This other chick needs to calm down.

It might be worth thinking about how you deal with criticism and ideas that differ from yours. That "chick" probably knows a bit more than you're giving her credit for.