Couch 186: Pink Lemonade

I think of a rupture as something that threatens the therapeutic relationship, whatever the reason (might be something strictly related to therapy, might be a transference thing, etc.). Something that makes me wonder if I should continue with that therapist and/or therapy in general. Like the stone thing with my current T. Or the rupture that led us to eventually terminate with ex-MC. Yet there have also been more minor disagreements/conflicts that have maybe led me to be a bit upset, but where I haven't thought "Maybe I can't continue seeing this person."

The first examples I can think of for the latter is when ex-MC cut me off at the end of session and was like "No, we have to stop" right at the 45-minute mark, when normally he'd let us stay late. Or with current T, when I was distressed (a few months into seeing him) about his going out of town, and he apparently misunderstood something in my email about it, and was like, "Have a fabulous week!" They were misunderstandings and things that upset me, but we worked through them really quickly, and I didn't think "OK, I may need to leave because of this."

This is my personal definition--I'm sure others have different ones. But I think you can have a disagreement/conflict/misunderstanding in therapy without it being a rupture.

I would have said:

A rupture is when you stop going because of a fight.

We had a nice visit with our son, he let us know that his girlfriend moved in with him this weekend. This comes as no surprise to either h or I. He got another raise at work, he now makes more money than I do!!

To a degree, all human relationships are analogous to family relationships.

Also, therapy encourages you to project family relationships onto T. It takes a stopdoggian effort of will to resist that.

In some cases, you bet... and I thought of it... but I went because I have a desire to try and work things out with people. Not everyone would have gone back after that

You bet.

I don't care what you think, I LIKED how our relationship was... it worked for me. Just because you are not a fan of it, does not mean you get to judge it.

No sadness at all. I liked that we argued and fought, in a healthy way. I was more used to fights/screaming with me getting no say... being shut down. it was good for me and I told him I liked that we had that kind of relationship, one of the best moments of therapy was when he outright got angry with me for calling him a liar... it was really beautiful what happened AFTER that... and I'll never forget it, but please, keep on judging something you know nothing about, you are good at that

I'm having a hard time with my son and his gf living together. I need to just grow up about it I guess. They're both 20. He is genuinely happy about it. Why am I crying?

Art

I'm not a parent but it's probably because he's grown up and it's a whole new part of his life he is starting... it can be scary for sure, even if it's also exciting

That sounds like a Shakespearean term!

He’s your only child. He’s your son. He grew up and is starting to live his life his way, doing his own thing. It’s okay to cry. It’s a big change. Even though it came as no surprise that his girl moved in- it’s still a lot to process for a parent. Be kind to yourself.

Hows 2019 going for you so far?

Started out very hopeful but now is meh.... I need it to be march so I can at least travel

Well I am committed to my Spring 2019 classes now - just paid for them and ordered the book for the one that has a book. No Psych classes this semester, alas, but general ed requirements because not enough transferred from my previous college experience years and years ago. I'm taking Solar System (which starts in 11 days, the one that I bought the book for) and a Poetry writing class that doesn't start until March. Hopefully they'll have another Psych class that I need available in the Fall.

I generally like Melissa McCarthy but I can't get through Life of the Party. This movie is painfully awful

Completely agree and I really wanted to like it

Back to school tomorrow. I start with new students. I guess I'm ready for this.

I’m not! Or rather I’m ready for tomorrow’s classes, but not for Tuesday’s.

This is the first year in a long while that we actually finished the first semester before Christmas. Usually we come back and have about two weeks left. It sort of lit a fire under me to have things together before I left for Christmas, and since I was also missing a week due to my husband's surgery, I planned the heck out of things before I left.

This morning I actually didn't wake up until a few minutes to noon. I rarely sleep in like that, and my younger kids were still sleeping too. But doing so cost H and I our marriage therapy session because we wouldn't have been able to get the kids ready and drop them off at the in-laws and make it to session on time.

2019 began with wine and cheese. And wine cheese! My kid found merlot cheese when we went cheese shopping for NYE. What a brilliant idea. When I shared some with a friend, she said, "Clearly, we have different taste in cheese." More cheese for me!

For me 2019 has been pretty standard so far. Partner had off until today, so we enjoyed time together. Now he's back at work and I'm back to cleaning the apartment before starting my job next month.

Oh look here. I went to bed (actually slept) and now it’s Monday.
I’ll grab the coffee, SM is working on the gloppy grits and floppy bacon. I’ll take the bacon-hold the grits.
For our non coffee drinkers... there is tea and juice. For anyone not on a diet enjoy a donut.
Okay..up and at em. Gonna be a long day.

Hey Jersey! Good early morning. I'm up but the kid is hanging on to sleep with both hands. Little does she know, resistance is futile. Have a good day couchies!

Tell her that the gloppy grits and floppy bacon is getting cold.

This phrase also goes in our hall of fame.

I'll take a donut Jersey, thank you! Eggs anyone?