[pepper_mint]

Do you think that for some people it's better to have a session in the morning (when they have more energy) and for some, it's better to have it in the evening?

I'm an owl - for the first half of the day I have brain fog, it's difficult to think and focus on something. In the evening I have more energy and I'm also in a more reflexive mood - I like to sit at night and think about life.

I have my session in the morning (well, it's 11 am but for me, it's still early).
I told my T many times that I'm sleepy and I can't think in the morning but she didn't say that in this case, it's better to have later hour. I bet she just thinks that it's my defense mechanism and nothing more, but I have the same mood in the other days (when I have no session).

Now I'm getting more and more frustrated because I think that she doesn't care and she didn't propose something better for me because probably it's easier for her to find a client for a late hour than for the morning. And even if I can't fully benefit from the session, well... who cares!?

I know that in the evening she turns on a lamp and this place feels more safe and warm - probably it would be easier to be more open then. In the morning it seems cold and raw.

But I don't know... maybe it's better to have brain fog so you can't rationalize too much during the session? Or maybe I'm just trying to find a reason why it's difficult for me to be more open and time of the session really doesn't matter so much?

[DP_2017]

yes, everyone has preference, just like some prefer male over female T

for me, i had am, afternoon and evening but stuck with evening for over a year, it was the best fit for me. with my intense jealousy, it was better for me to be last and not risk seeing any other clients....

[JaneTennison1]

Have you tried asking her or did you just hint? I have told my t that I need a late appointment and nothing else works because I am at work.

[stopdog]

I would say I can't make the morning appt any longer and see if there was an afternoon one or try a new therapist.

[Salmon77]

I'm a night owl but I prefer to have morning appointments. That way I have all the rest of the day to get work done.

From your post it sounds like you have been hinting that you're tired etc. and hoping she would offer a later time. You need to ask directly for what you want, if you haven't already. She may or may not have later times available.

[piggy momma]

I prefer morning, and early in the week (Monday or Tuesday).

[LabRat27]

I'm a night owl as well, and I definitely think I'd get less out of a morning appointment.

I also wouldn't want to have to have an entire workday after my session. I'm often emotionally exhausted and have a lot of intense feelings after a session.
I usually go back to work, but it's 6 or 7pm, so my boss has usually gone home by that point and even though a few people are all around it's not really the same social expectations. My coworkers have kind of picked up on the fact that I want to be given space and left alone after therapy.

You said she didn't propose something better... Have you asked her directly if it would be possible to switch to a later time?

[nottrustin]

Ideally I prefer early afternoon. I also so better if I am the last appointment of the day. For some reason if there is somebody has an appointment after me I become obsessed qorh watching the clock. I dont wany to inconvenience the person after me by running over. Plus I fear not having enough to regroup when it is time to leave. If I am the last person and T doesn't bring our appointment to an end that is fine since it just affects us. Since both ts only worked on days I do, I've had the latest time the offer...

[pepper_mint]

Yes, you're right - I should just ask for a different hour. I didn't do this because:
- first of all I'm not good at asking for what I need
- for my work it generally doesn't matter because I can work in the evening as well
- I thought that T knows better and if she knows that I'm a night owl and I'm sleepy in the morning and she still keeps me on that time - it makes sense for some reasons
(I also read somewhere that it's good to have a session when you are not at your highest energy level). So I was just confused and I didn't know what would be better for me.

The worst thing is, that know even if I could change a session time - I know that for two years (!!!) I had my session at a wrong time and T didn't do anything with this. So know how can I trust her that she'll do as much she can to help me?

Tomorrow I have a session and I try to talk about this. But I'm sooo angry at her now that I know that it will be difficult.

[LabRat27]

Originally Posted by pepper_mint

Yes, you're right - I should just ask for a different hour. I didn't do this because:
- first of all I'm not good at asking for what I need
- for my work it generally doesn't matter because I can work in the evening as well
- I thought that T knows better and if she knows that I'm a night owl and I'm sleepy in the morning and she still keeps me on that time - it makes sense for some reasons
(I also read somewhere that it's good to have a session when you are not at your highest energy level). So I was just confused and I didn't know what would be better for me.

The worst thing is, that know even if I could change a session time - I know that for two years (!!!) I had my session at a wrong time and T didn't do anything with this. So know how can I trust her that she'll do as much she can to help me?

Tomorrow I have a session and I try to talk about this. But I'm sooo angry at her now that I know that it will be difficult.

Therapists aren't mind readers.
Their job is to work with us to "help us help ourselves." They can't do the work for us or make all the decisions for us (as much as I sometimes wish they could lol)
It's okay and understandable to wish your therapist had proactively offered the option of another time, and I don't want to invalidate that. I often find myself feeling similar frustration with my therapist. At the same time, an important part of therapy is often learning how to identify our needs and communicate about them.

Maybe it would be helpful to have a convo about how she could help create an environment in which you'd feel more comfortable expressing your preferences and wants and needs in the future?

I hope it goes well and you're able to find a time that works better for you and discuss your feelings about it with your T.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

There's definitely different preferences for different people. I couldn't do anything before noon. I'd have to get up too early and I'd be sleepy like you. I like early afternoon the best, but later is fine too.

I'd directly ask for a different time. I hope you can find a solution that fits you better.

[WishfulThinker66]

Originally Posted by JaneTennison1

Have you tried asking her....

Spot on! She may have observed what is best for you.

I myself have no choice in when my appointments occur. My work schedule is pretty fluid and inflexible. I take what sessions then I can get that fit into what time I have available.

I am giving thought however to what I would choose if given the opportunity.

I am an early riser and I too tend to be a bit foggy and dopey in the mornings. However, I also like to get things out of the way. Having something later or midday makes me feel hostage in that I feel unable to do anything before hand. I basically sit around panicking until it is time to go. Thus, having something first thing in the morning allows me, mentally, to get on with my day.

[stopdog]

Therapists have no idea what is best for a client. Only a client knows what works or doesn't work for themselves.

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by pepper_mint

I have my session in the morning (well, it's 11 am but for me, it's still early).
I told my T many times that I'm sleepy and I can't think in the morning but she didn't say that in this case, it's better to have later hour. I bet she just thinks that it's my defense mechanism and nothing more, but I have the same mood in the other days (when I have no session).

Now I'm getting more and more frustrated because I think that she doesn't care and she didn't propose something better for me because probably it's easier for her to find a client for a late hour than for the morning. And even if I can't fully benefit from the session, well... who cares!?\

I wouldn't wait around for the therapist to "suggest" anything or to ask you if you want to change your time. I also doubt you know what she thinks or when it's easier for her to get clients.

I would advise asking her directly if you can switch your time to later in the day. I doubt she cares about it or thinks about it much at all and if she has the time available, she will give it to you. I've changed my session times quite a few times over the years, and my T always gives it to me if he has it. Sometimes I've had to wait a few weeks or months for something to open up, but I put in my request and it has always worked out.

[AllHeart]

Originally Posted by pepper_mint

Do you think that for some people it's better to have a session in the morning (when they have more energy) and for some, it's better to have it in the evening?

I'm an owl - for the first half of the day I have brain fog, it's difficult to think and focus on something. In the evening I have more energy and I'm also in a more reflexive mood - I like to sit at night and think about life.

I have my session in the morning (well, it's 11 am but for me, it's still early).
I told my T many times that I'm sleepy and I can't think in the morning but she didn't say that in this case, it's better to have later hour. I bet she just thinks that it's my defense mechanism and nothing more, but I have the same mood in the other days (when I have no session).

Now I'm getting more and more frustrated because I think that she doesn't care and she didn't propose something better for me because probably it's easier for her to find a client for a late hour than for the morning. And even if I can't fully benefit from the session, well... who cares!?

I know that in the evening she turns on a lamp and this place feels more safe and warm - probably it would be easier to be more open then. In the morning it seems cold and raw.

But I don't know... maybe it's better to have brain fog so you can't rationalize too much during the session? Or maybe I'm just trying to find a reason why it's difficult for me to be more open and time of the session really doesn't matter so much?

I’d straight up ask her for a later session time. I am the same way you are— so not a morning person. I do better in the late afternoon and evenings. I feel more relaxed in t’s office with the light on late in the day. For me, this makes for better sessions. So, time does matter to some people. Sounds like it does you. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. 🤓

[SlumberKitty]

I have had morning appointments when I would have days off during the week. Now I have evening appointment because of my work day. Regardless of what my preference is, I have to take what I can get that still works around my work schedule. That said, try asking directly for what you want, as others have said. As great as my former T is, she couldn't mind read. New T mostly only works nights or Saturdays. I've told the office staff I prefer to not have a Saturday appointment, so that means I have to do evenings, after work. Kit

[susannahsays]

She may have assumed you would have let her know if the time was an issue. The therapist I see doesn't like to come in early, so I don't have to worry about this. However, when I make appointments with my psychiatrist or other doctors, I always let the receptionist know if the times they've offered are too early. They usually then offer later times. Sometimes I have to wait a bit longer, but it's worth it.