what do you want T to ask you?

darkside8 · Jan 25, 2019, 02:51 PM

I asked my T what she thinks we should focus on this session and she said she had a focus point on mind and this was asking me what I want her to ask me..
So she asked.. “What do you really want me to ask you?” “Is there anything you want me to ask you that I haven't already?”

Generally speaking, such a beautifully deep question to ask someone. I found it too deep that I ended up saying nothing lol
So over to you - what would you like your T to ask you?

seeker33 · Jan 25, 2019, 03:08 PM

What a great question! "Seeker, do you want me to adopt you?"

piggy momma · Jan 25, 2019, 04:20 PM

This is a really good question. I think I like when my T asks me questions like “have you taken anything (pills)” or “on a level of 1 to 10 how suicidal are you?”...things like that...even when I appear to be perfectly fine (especially when I appear to be perfectly fine). It makes me feel like he really cares beyond the standard opening line of “how are you?”.

winterblues17 · Jan 25, 2019, 05:19 PM

When ex T used to ask if I was ok or alright in tough moments, it meant a lot she cared enough to ask!

DP_2017 · Jan 25, 2019, 05:21 PM

At this point, asking anything would make my day. Sadly it wont happen

Jan 25, 2019, 05:33 PM

Would you like me to give you a blanket?

MoxieDoxie · Jan 26, 2019, 06:23 AM

Mine asks me every session "What do you want to focus on today?" Do you want the weighted blanket?", Do you want the bowl of kinetic Sand?" Is it to light in here shall I close the shades?"

I don't need to focus on anything. I just want to sit in your presence, feel safe, feel cared for.....yes I want the damn blanket, sand, and close the shades.

piggy momma · Jan 26, 2019, 06:29 AM

"Would you like an extra session this week?"

Um, ya. I would. I really really would. But it ain't gonna happen.

LostOnTheTrail · Jan 26, 2019, 06:50 AM

'Do you need me to come a little closer?'

darkside8 · Jan 26, 2019, 07:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

'Do you need me to come a little closer?'

my gosh, this is the one!

or 'do you need a hug?'

LostOnTheTrail · Jan 26, 2019, 07:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkside8

my gosh, this is the one!

or 'do you need a hug?'

At the end of November, just gone, I spent the first 20 minutes of the session crying and apologising for doing so. She came and sat next to me: 'I don't want to lose [connection with] you today.'

I felt so vulnerable that I may as well have been naked, but strangely that was also the safest I have yet managed to feel with her.

darkside8 · Jan 26, 2019, 07:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

At the end of November, just gone, I spent the first 20 minutes of the session crying and apologising for doing so. She came and sat next to me: 'I don't want to lose [connection with] you today.'

I felt so vulnerable that I may as well have been naked, but strangely that was also the safest I have yet managed to feel with her.

That hit me hard. The chairs we sit on would made it impossible for her to ever sit next to me when I need it most!

piggy momma · Jan 26, 2019, 07:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

At the end of November, just gone, I spent the first 20 minutes of the session crying and apologising for doing so. She came and sat next to me: 'I don't want to lose [connection with] you today.'

I felt so vulnerable that I may as well have been naked, but strangely that was also the safest I have yet managed to feel with her.

I love this. He sits so far away he may as well be the next province over.

Jan 26, 2019, 07:38 AM

Tell me what I need to do because I am sooo very tired of trying to figure it out myself.

stopdog · Jan 26, 2019, 08:32 AM

I just wanted the woman tell me what sorts of things people talked about to be useful for the reason I hired her. I never knew what the hell was supposed to be happening there or what sorts of things one talked about that would to be useful to talk about and I believe she did and simply refused to tell me. It was like the woman wanted me to guess

darkside8 · Jan 26, 2019, 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I just wanted the woman tell me what sorts of things people talked about to be useful for the reason I hired her. I never knew what the hell was supposed to be happening there or what sorts of things one talked about that would to be useful to talk about and I believe she did and simply refused to tell me. It was like the woman wanted me to guess

I feel the same - what do people talk about? Is this worth talking about etc..

Anne2.0 · Jan 26, 2019, 10:36 AM

I am not a fan of direct questions, I prefer to control the conversation in my therapy sessions.

Jan 26, 2019, 12:19 PM

I'd also like her to ask: 'would you like to come twice a week instead of once a week, at no extra charge?'

piggy momma · Jan 26, 2019, 12:34 PM

Do you want me to wrap you in this blanket?

I like when my T asks direct, difficult questions. I feel like it shows a sign of interest and willingness to work on his part.

SheHulk07 · Jan 26, 2019, 01:54 PM

1. Check in on SH and SI maybe once a week. I hate bringing it up on my own esp if it's been bad.
2. Do you want to try the couch today?

satsuma · Jan 26, 2019, 04:29 PM

I like it when he asks if I would like to plan to speak on the phone if I have a particular challenge coming up. But on the other hand, nowadays I'm getting confident enough to ask if he doesn't offer first.

Seelenna1982 · Jan 26, 2019, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by piggy momma

"Would you like an extra session this week?"

Um, ya. I would. I really really would. But it ain't gonna happen.

THIS!!! I’d love to be asked this. I’d mostly say no but I’m sure at least once a week I’d take it! I often feel I need to come back the same week but I can NEVER ask and it causes me such tension.

Anne2.0 · Jan 26, 2019, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seelenna1982

THIS!!! I’d love to be asked this. I’d mostly say no but I’m sure at least once a week I’d take it! I often feel I need to come back the same week but I can NEVER ask and it causes me such tension.

I was asked if I wanted to come back for another session the same week, but after almost 10 years of therapy. He does seem to sense when I am particularly struggling and reminds me that he has open times in the week if I want to come back. Maybe I've done this half a dozen times.

piggy momma · Jan 26, 2019, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seelenna1982

THIS!!! I’d love to be asked this. I’d mostly say no but I’m sure at least once a week I’d take it! I often feel I need to come back the same week but I can NEVER ask and it causes me such tension.

I can ask until I’m blue in the face. The answer will always be no.

Even when I got out of the hospital after my attempt, I didn’t get an extra session. He just doesn’t do them.

Seelenna1982 · Jan 26, 2019, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by piggy momma

I can ask until I’m blue in the face. The answer will always be no.

Even when I got out of the hospital after my attempt, I didn’t get an extra session. He just doesn’t do them.

Does he say why? Does he offer any other kind of support between sessions? If my T has a spot open, she’ll always say yes but it’s something I’m required to ask for myself. Which I can’t do because 1, I’m afraid to take up her time (I know I’m the one paying etc.... I’m not logical on these issues) and 2, I’m terrified she’d have to tell me she doesn’t have any appointments open and even though that’s completely fine and says nothing about me, I’d want to die for having asked.

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what do you want T to ask you?

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