[Rive1976]

How do you get by when your T says to email less? This has to be the worst time out of the whole year I have been seeing her to say that. I asked her something really important and havent got an answer yet and its driving me crazy. She usually waits until 11:30 at night to email me back anyway. Im getting antsy though. Do you journal? What do you do?

[DP_2017]

Journal yes, talk to other people, even online. Keep busy as much as I can

[hopealwayz]

That’s what I’m experiencing as well.

He recommended journaling and bringing it into session.

[fille_folle]

My T doesn't do email.

I guess what I do to try to make it to my next session without contact is... hmm... I'm trying to think of what I do, and all I'm coming up with is a variety of negative coping mechanisms.

I guess I like to listen to audio books and play video games. Sometimes that distracts me for fleeting moments. Sleeping, while not a great coping skill, does pass time that I might otherwise spend distressed.

Personally, journaling just makes things worse for me. I get sucked even more into whatever it is I want to talk to my T about. The fact that I'm writing to nobody feels like a slap in the face and reminds me that I am alone. I have occasionally written things to give my T to read in session, but those are relatively brief since I don't want it to take her forever to read them.

[zoiecat]

Luckily I never started emailing in the first place so it is easier for me. When I feel the need to communicate my feelings with him I always journal and talk with friends. The day before my next session I look through my journalling and type up a letter that fully expresses what I want to say. I print out the letter and hand it to him at the beginning of session. Those are usually my most prodoctive sessions. He always thanks me for sharing and he will silenyly read and discuss and questions I put in the letter.

My T is big on having me sit with my feelings because he says the more you practice sitting with them, the stronger my resilience will grow allowing me to better handle them in the future.

[Lemoncake]

I never used to be allowed to email and I've had a lot of drama over emails, and how long he took to reply as we had agreed to a two day limit. I used to get wound up counting the hours, but I suggested giving him 5 days to reply and I'm allowed one a week. But sometimes I have still emailed more, sometimes I can go without altogether. At the moment it's been 8 days no email.

I used to write drafts, and just edit that, or mark an older email as unread and flag it so that it would stay at the top of my inbox and look new. As well as also rereading older emails from him.

[SlumberKitty]

Journaling helps. Writing letters help (even if I don't send them, or don't show them to T). I usually make myself write them in another language so that it takes more time and I have to think through what to say, how to say it. By the time I finish that, it's like I don't need to express it anymore. HUGS Kit

[sarahsweets]

My T only allows texts about appointments and no emails. I am ok with that because I think it helps me work through some stuff on my own.

[MoxieDoxie]

Journaling sucks because it goes no where. There is no caring human being on the other side reading it and caring. That is why emailing T's are important even if they do not acknowledge the email until session. At least they have a view into your thinking during the week, see patterns and use it to guide therapy sessions.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Email was never an option in my therapy. I journaled if my mind was full. I kept my mind occupied with other mind-intensive activities like word puzzles or reading a book. I cleaned or went to a bookstore. I learned that the urge to contact would pass if I gave it time, particularly if I got busy doing something else.

If I needed to talk to my therapist, it was going to require a direct phone call. I'm grateful for that because I knew if I made that call, I better have a darned good reason to pick up that phone. Otherwise, I knew I had to find other ways to cope until that urge passed. The upside to it was that my therapist knew if I did call, I had exhausted my own techniques and/or it was a matter of true seriousness that really required his immediate attention or support.

One of the problems with texting and emailing is that it can (not always) for some people keep them from taking the time to discover their own healthy coping mechanisms for issues that aren't emergent. Technology for some = instant gratification. Sometimes in life, delaying gratification can really be a positive and empowering learning tool.

My therapist was of two minds about journaling by the way. For some people, journaling is a healthy way to get things out of their mind and onto the page. For others, it can spiral them into their thinking and make those thoughts even more obsessive. Journaling works for me, but if my husband journals it makes him feel worse. He's better off finding a distraction to completely stop his thinking (games, reading, walking, etc.) You have to know yourself.

[winterblues17]

As another poster stated, for me journaling doesn't help much because it's not going nowhere. Or being read or understood by anyone, unless of course you take it to session.
I do have a habit of being able to open up more in writing rather than speaking, my old T did tell me to reduce them and changed to no response at times. This hurt me and felt like a rejection.
I understood it was time provoking etc and probably would have been willing to pay slightly extra because I did really find it helpful.
The new one said I can email, she will either write a small response back or not respond but does read it and will bring certain points up in session I suppose if needed. That's ok with me now and has been a clear understanding from the start. However with old T I saw it simply as rejection.

[zoiecat]

I guess I am confused. What is the difference between sending an email knowing that you will not get a response and not sending an email at all? The T states they will read it but who knows?

To me this seems worse than journaling. At least with journaling you are working through your own thoughts and that afterall is the purpose of therapy.

I know everyone is different and I am not judging my any means. I'm just trying to understand the purpose of emailing. Is it more of an attempt to share feelings with the T, an instant gratification thing for stress tolerance, or just a way to get attention from the T?

Personally I have found journaling very effective. I always put stars next to the sections that I want to talk about in session. When things are really bad I will go through my journal the night before session and type a letter to T if I feel I can't talk about it in person. I will either print it out or email it to him from the waiting room so he can print it out at the beginning of session. He then reads it in front of me and responds immediately. That way I know he is reading it and giving it his undivided attention. Just sharing my thoughts. Ignore me if necessary.

[velcro003]

The difference between journaling and email is knowing my T has read it, that she “hears” my pain as in the moment as possible. She responds 99% of the time, so that does help me as well. Journaling is good if i have stuff i want to talk about in session, and it isn’t so urgent (to me).