[nottrustin]

Has your T ever said this before in an appointment?? She said it 3 times last night. We got into a discussion about my trauma. When she said it or was because she made statements about what the ideal is and them mentioned that it is the goal but I am not there yet which is okay. The other times it was after she asked some pocking queations.

I ended up disassociating. I only responded once saying that it was all good. Seems to me poking and pushing a bit is normal. So not sure why she would have said that.

[SlumberKitty]

Yes, my former T said that on occasion. It was a realization for us both that what we were doing at the time wasn't helpful, and perhaps there was another direction that we could go, or another line of discussion we could take that would be helpful. My former T would usually follow it up with, "What can I do to help you?" Which irritated me basically because I didn't know the answer and if I did I would have told her already! HUGS Kit

[coolibrarian]

My T has said, "How can I help you?" Sometimes when she's done this, I get annoyed and say, "You're the professional, you tell me!" Sometimes I've apologized for this, but other times I don't. NT, were you afraid that she couldn't help you? I think it's important that at your next session, if you can, to start where you ended. For example, did she realize you had dissociated? It might be hard, but it might also help to figure out what triggered the dissociation.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by coolibrarian

My T has said, "How can I help you?" Sometimes when she's done this, I get annoyed and say, "You're the professional, you tell me!" Sometimes I've apologized for this, but other times I don't. NT, were you afraid that she couldn't help you? I think it's important that at your next session, if you can, to start where you ended. For example, did she realize you had dissociated? It might be hard, but it might also help to figure out what triggered the dissociation.

Yes she was aware. I completely shut down for a bit.

I dont think I was afraid she couldnt help me. When I brought up the topic, I told her I was afraid to because there had been a lot of triggers over the last week and I have been really struggling. I told her I was in an okay place having pushed everything aside. I was afraid of stirring the pot again.

I find it frustrating when she blames herself for things. Maybe because I always blame myself and am told it is not my fault but she blames herself.

When she made the statements about not helping me what I really wanted to say was that she wasnt really helping me because once I walked out the door I am on my own to deal with this crap for a week.

[Elio]

She hasn't specifically said that she isn't helping. She has asked me what she could do to be helpful, she's thanked me for asking for something specific that might be helpful, and she's made comments about maybe being wrong about some interpretation.

She's also admitted that she is not perfect, that she makes mistakes. Granted this is often after I've said something about knowing that she's not perfect.

Oh, the asking for something specific was when I was on the verge of disassociating. It was towards the end of a session and I could have left, I was fine enough to leave. I would have lost it once I got to the car. I told her that I needed her to talk about something different which is a very specific thing for me - it means to talk to me about something uncharged and analytical - a math/science principle, football, maybe something local in the news... ect.

Seems to me poking and pushing a bit is normal. So not sure why she would have said that.

Not sure when this was in your session, maybe because she was really trying to get you to refocus on the here and now, a way to ground but she felt like it wasn't working and possibly making things even worse.

[nottrustin]

She made these comments in the middle of the discussion before diassosciating. Now that I am thinking about it more, I wonder if it is her way of naming what she is thinking. She is a firm believer in naming what is going on. For the most art I have found that naming things is helpful. Just not yesterday. It made me fear she would become frustrated and feel she could no longer help me.

When it comes to grounding she is pretty good at engaging me in something totally different. Yesterday she asked about a piece of jewelry I was wearing that was obviously important. So she asked me to tell her about it.