Me : you knew what. I feel embarrassed any the feelings I have for here/you.

T: yes,, that's because your mother would never allow you to have those feelings and if you did she'd tell you that they were wrong to have.

I said I feel cared for here. Do other people come because their mothers didn't care?
T said, not everyone. Some come because their mothers cared to much. Didn't give them the space they required. There's many scenarios to that relationship.

I find it very hard to openly let T know, that I do know that she cares and that I like it.

Are you planning to try and tell her?

Originally Posted by Wild at heart

Are you planning to try and tell her?

I did. I just find it very hard.
I told her she was all the good examples I'd had from other people in my life rolled into one.

Thats as near to telling her as I can get.

She mentioned that if I'd had what I get from her with my mother I wouldn't have any shame around what is in reality a normal giving between 2 people. And she has said I'm not just a taker. She doesn't experience that being with me. There is a back and forth of feelings between us both

Its the not having got it from my primary care giverwhere the embarrassment stems from.
And that my mother was very clever when she use to tell me that I run to everyone else but her. T said that way she kept you cut off from others, kept you thinking everyone but her was dangerous/wrong. So it makes sense that you would struggle with all these feelings coming here to me.

I identify with some of what you're saying. It feels hard to me too - the thought of expressing warm feelings towards T.

[unaluna]

Its like your t can read my mind. The embarrassment, and the cutting off from others.

Originally Posted by unaluna

Its like your t can read my mind. The embarrassment, and the cutting off from others.

Read your mind. Or I'm just sharing things many have experienced 🤷*♀️