Couch 189: The Oxford Couch

When pigs fly...

I think you did the right thing, Artie. You deserve to live true to who you are, and he deserves to know that he is married to someone who can't love him as a romantic or sexual partner. He thinks right now that he's ok with that, but he deserves to know the truth so that he can have a choice just like you can. Yes, he's probably crushed. He's probably feeling very rejected. At some point, he will most likely become angry and start demanding answers, so be ready for that. You can't fix this or take away his pain. Nothing is ever going to be the same; that's a given. Just try to take it one step at a time. I think it is not too uncommon for women to come out in your situation - perhaps you could find women who have been through this to get some support from.

H and I talked some more this morning. He told me he got up during the night and was online researching how much our house is worth if we sell it and how much $ we would each get after if we decide to split up and go our own ways. He said "I'm not saying this is what I want. I just wanted to know what we're going to be looking at if it happens." And he said how hard this is having all of this in his head. I said I know, what do you think I've been going through. He said how hard it's going to be to start over separately. I said I know that. ****'s a little too real right now.

My T last night called me by my last name instead of my first name. My last name is sometimes a first name, but obviously it's not my first name. It was kind of annoying, but I just brushed it off. But I was like, really? How long have I been seeing you? I didn't call her out on it though. Kit

Hee, I just realized I’m lecturing on Aeneas on Valentine’s Day.

Such a great track record with women. Lost one wife (not a euphemism, he lost her), abandoned another to die, fought a war over a third.

i want to email t but i haven't yet

Seems like if there were ever an appropriate time, this would be it!

Seems like if there were ever an appropriate time, this would be it!

My uni have done a u turn and are refusing to give me a different supervisor. My T said they've lost the plot.

i didnt want to be pushy.

Mark your calendars, please!

, Artie. This must be really scary right now. You're on the precipice of potentially a big change in your life. You don't have to make any big decisions right now.

I'm guessing you are nowhere near deciding what you want yet and this doesn't have to mean the end of your marriage.


If that's the case, he needs to hear it.

I'm guessing you are nowhere near deciding what you want yet and this doesn't have to mean the end of your marriage.


If that's the case, he needs to hear it.

Thanks for saying this. I didnt want to be pushy.


Mark your calendars, please!

Seems like if there were ever an appropriate time, this would be it!

Kick up a fuss. What's the official reason they've given you?

Thanks CE. No, I'm not. He isn't pressuring me for a decision today or anything but he did ask me not to string him along he said he wants to have a chance to find someone else before he's too old to.

Thanks for saying this. I didnt want to be pushy.


Mark your calendars, please!

I wasn’t aware you had a speed between “neutral” and “dictatorial.”

She must be sick of me.

I'm sure she's not sick of you, she probably just hasn't read your email yet. When did you send it?