[DP_2017]

In Oct 2017 I lost my beloved dog and it was awful but I had T there, he was there for the diagnosis, the cancer, the death and the aftermath. It was so helpful for me to keep myself from spiraling. I owe him so much for that. I tried pet loss support group then but it never helped, so I just kept my regular therapy with T and worked through it all the best I could.

Now, with the loss of T.... I just feel so lost. Unable to manage well on my own, this is just more than I ever thought it would feel like, even though I don't want to get sucked into therapy again, I felt I had no choice. So short term therapy for grief only this time, is what I'm doing

I am just wondering for those who have done grief therapy, for whatever type of loss, did it help you? Was it short term for you? Are you glad you did it looking back?

[ArtleyWilkins]

I’ve dealt with grief very specifically but in the context of my larger therapy; not separate from. I had that year when I lost my sister, a close friend to a heart attack, and two friends from suicide. The level of grief was deep and overwhelming at times. I remember months following my sister’s death where I would close my classroom door and turn out the lights during my conference period and just cry or sleep (because I was so emotionally exhausted). My therapist and I spent time validating the trauma of those deaths (they were traumatizing due to the circumstances in which they occurred), honoring those people who were rather suddenly torn from my life, and learning to have patience with the grief process. It helped to have that person to talk to that I wasn’t feeling a need to protect from the pain. It helped to be reminded that my grief was a normal reaction, even as intense as it was; it wasn’t pathological. It helped to be “given permission” (I don’t mean that literally) to take time with the loss and the grief.

I lost my sister in 2011. It was a good five years before the grief eased up from anger and pain to a place where I could finally think of her with a smile and a laugh and the pain rarely boils up anymore. Five years. And that is not abnormal; it just takes time.

I lost Mom just a bit over a year ago. I’m still in the midst of the pain, and because we are dealing with our aging father, closing up his house (which means going through every scrap of paper, every little thing that Mom collected), the grief can still be pretty raw. But I’m getting there . . . Slowly. I haven’t had a therapist to walk me through grief for Mom’s death, but I’m trying to remember my therapist’s messages to me: Give it time. It will boil up at unexpected moments and that is normal. The sadness is normal. This will take time; it doesn’t have to get better right away. Honor my loss. Honor my mom. Just sit with it and let her spirit wash over me when she comes around (I’m smiling as I type that. Mom is persistent. LOL).

[DP_2017]

Thanks for sharing your story

I know grief takes time, I still have hard time with my dog sometimes, like I can't look at toys in any pet store..... I also know grieving the loss of someone who isn't dead and I wasn't dating etc is kinda ridiculous but none the less, it has happened.

I am just interested in hearing how therapy for grief helped or didn't help others. I don't have much hope to be honest.

Again, thanks for sharing and sorry for both of those very tough losses for you

[WarmFuzzySocks]

Grief has been a part of the work I've done in therapy, though not the entirety of the work, so it hasn't been short term. It helps having someone there who's walked with people through grieving, who can help me identify and normalize some of the feelings.

[nottrustin]

We have been working on it for quite some time. It is getting better but we still have a ways to go. My grief is complicated because it is also intertwined with my CPTSD. EMDR T strongly believes as we work through my PTSD the grief work will be easier.

[divine1966]

When my son in law died, my daughter had bereavement therapy. She found it extremely helpful. She did about 6 months. Somehow she said grief therapist knew all the right things to say. I myself am in intense grief right now as my mother passed away last week. My husband thinks I and my brother should seek grief therapist but we dint think we should. Somehow talking to a stranger about our mother feels pointless. Pain is really bad right now and will be bad for awhile. I am not sure how therapy can help

[DP_2017]

Thanks all for sharing your stories

I know it was easier when my pet died because I had support in big numbers and I felt ok sharing about his life etc

So much harder when I keep our stories private and such.

[toomanycats]

grief over S has been a big part of my therapy in the past.

It was helpful to be allowed to come in in whatever phase of grief I was in that day and to talk about it. Sometimes, I railed against S. Sometimes, I cried and said how much I loved him. Sometimes, I proclaimed myself entirely over it.

It was helpful for my grief to be seen. It was helpful to have it validated and not brushed aside.

I still grieve S, and I still occasionally have a session where I talk about him. I did recently, actually. It pops back up frequently whenever something is happening in my life that I would've gone to him with.

[DP_2017]

Tmc

I'm sorry it's still so hard. I think it's gonna be long for me too but I hope I'm wrong