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#1
Feb 09, 2019, 02:48 PM
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How have therapists responded (or reacted) if you quit talking
 (As in quit trusting...) 
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 growlycat, Thirty shades
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 Thirty shades
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#2
Feb 09, 2019, 04:05 PM
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Good question Fuzzy....
Therapists??????? Quit talking.... Quit trusting.... Quit asking... Then we are no problem.... Unless we threaten to delete ourselves then we can be sectioned otherwise we can suffer our pain  Treatment is no option Yet we are to blame.... 
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| Fuzzybear
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| Fuzzybear
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#3
Feb 09, 2019, 04:08 PM
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Quote:
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| Thirty shades
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| Thirty shades
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#4
Feb 09, 2019, 04:53 PM
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Resounding silence
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Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
| Fuzzybear
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#5
Feb 09, 2019, 05:03 PM
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By writing notes on paper, balling it up, and throwing it at me.
:P T mostly just waits for me to come around. He doesn't force me to talk, he doesn't push, sometimes he switches to topics like the weather, sports, or tv shows just as a way to relieve some of the pressure. Sometimes he just shows his humanity. Eventually I start trusting again but T has to work for it. |
| Fuzzybear
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#6
Feb 09, 2019, 05:16 PM
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I guess we talk about whatever issue has lead to the break in trust. Practically she let's us sit in silence for a while but then may start asking an innocuous question like about work or something to get the conversation going.
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| Fuzzybear
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#7
Feb 09, 2019, 05:26 PM
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That happens quite a bit in my therapy. My therapist assumes I am being shut down/have switched/am experiencing a trauma response and tries several different strategies to reorient my and my alters to the present. Strategies such as...
- asking us to count objects in the room/feel the chair under our body/notice the sound of the music playing outside/touch the soft toy that we take - her repeating statements about the present (it's 2019/the danger is over/it's safe now/we're sitting in this room together/no-one else is here - throwing a ball to each other/each of us pulling on the ends of blanket/rolling a ball across the floor to each other Most often one or a combination of those strategies help us climb out of it within a minute or three. I need to say I TOLD my T to use these things when I get shut down, she did try some other strategies but I found these ones most helpful. When something helps I tell my T at a more neutral (untriggered) time so she knows to use them again. Working together like this has helped us feel a lot safer in therapy. What does your T do, Fuzzy? |
| Fuzzybear
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| Fuzzybear
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#8
Feb 09, 2019, 06:14 PM
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When I freeze up T starts by asking about what I am feeling and the intensity of the feeling. If that doesn’t work he will usually ask something of me that makes me move. We haven’t had any times yet where I have frozen because he did something that broke trust, just things I haven’t trusted him enough to try yet. He has asked me to tell him if he ever does something to break trust between us. I told him he would know because I would call him “Sir” or by his last name. I don’t know how he would do repairitive work but I am sure he would be very gentle and that he would ask what I needed and... he would make me move.
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There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
| Fuzzybear
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#9
Feb 09, 2019, 06:17 PM
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It used to happen in my therapy all the time years ago.
My long term t would match my silence until I told him his silence felt hurtful, that in those moments I feel stuck and need help pulling out of the silence. I think my current t would gently say “you seem quiet today. I wonder what is going on for you and how can I help you talk about it?” I never did like the stare down approach where the t just matches the silence. I hope you gain back trust with t fuzzybear. It’s hard work to get it back once it goes away but it can be done. |
| Fuzzybear
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| Fuzzybear
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#10
Feb 09, 2019, 06:26 PM
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My last session with my therapist ended badly. At one point, I sat in silence for ten minutes because I was so angry and didn't know what to say. I don't mind a few minutes of silence, but after two minutes I started thinking that every minute he just sat he was making a £1, and it started to tick me off.
After ten minutes, he simply said, "You haven't said anything." I didn't think that was a bad answer, but he probably should have said it at minute two or three. |
| Fuzzybear
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