[lauren_helene]

I just noticed on T's appointment card he marked that he will be on vacation during christmas break. I remember him saying something about laying on a beach somewhere but it was after a difficult session for me so I don't remember all of it.

Why am I jealous that he is taking a vacation? One minute I think, hope he has a good time! and then next I think...no I don't!...he should be thinking about me and how I'm doing and miss me since I always miss him. Kind of narcissitic eh?

Oh well, When I'm done for the day, I leave work behind...I'm guessing he does too...he's allowed isn't he?

[Perna]

You might try planning something of your own for when he's away; doing something during the day that you'd normally be using to go see him. I use to do that. Actually, I use to have my husband plan our vacations around my T's so I didn't have to have two vacations from T; hers and my own when my husband and I went away. But if I were you I'd take a couple whole days off, the days you normally would see (or would like to see) your T and plan something special for yourself for those days.

My T is going to be off from the afternoon of the 21st until January 2nd for the Christmas holiday. She'll be spending time with loved ones - family mostly. I'm so jealous. I hate admitting it, but I am. I wish I was important enough to be able to spend the holiday with her...

[krazibean]

when my T goes away she schedules a phone session... which usually is only a 10 minute "hey how are you, k bye" call. but i guess its better than nothing. its hard when T's are away because in your mind if for unforeseen reason you need to see them you know you can't, and its very anxiety producing.

I always feel that way when my T goes on vacation. I picture him having the most wonderful time ever and then it becomes very painful and I want to kick him, lol. Then sometimes I have to counteract that fantasy with a vacation disaster fantasy-- T goes camping and his tent collapses during an intense thunderstorm. Or T has Thanksgiving dinner and the turkey comes out black and rock hard, lol I have to make myself feel better somehow. I have come to realize that I am still in the part of the relationship that is sort of like mother-baby. I want all my needs to be fulfilled, i want to be happy with him, but I really couldn't care less if he is happy or not. The adult part of me, however (unlike a baby) can think about his moments of happiess... and that hurts and makes me jealous... so I end up counteracting them with fantasies that both make me feel better and make me laugh.

It's just a phase of the relationship. As we progress, probably in about 87 more years, I will be able to recognize him as a separate person, that we are two adults, and that I want him to be happy.