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Member
Member Since May 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 303
5 |
#741
But really, though. What am I going to say to you? That I've missed you? That doesn't really cover a session.
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Lemoncake, Omers, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 1,009
6 2,354 hugs
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#742
I wish I knew where the line was
What could I ask for and have before you started to deny requests? I don't want to do trial and error, because crossing that line even once would make me feel so humiliated and angry at myself for having asked. There was one thing I asked for that you said no to. That was over a year ago and I still hate even remembering. But, as you know, I still need the line to exist. I trust you to keep it on the fairly rigid/professional side of the boundary spectrum. Getting what it feels like I want would ruin this entire thing. |
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Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, Omers, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: Anonymous
Posts: 3,132
11 129 hugs
given |
#743
Dear T,
Lens inward or lens outward? I think I've benefitted much from looking inward these past few years, making better choices about what and how and who I spend my time and energy with, how what I do misses the mark from what I'm going for. I understand myself with a lot more complexity now and cut myself far more slack than I used to. I never thought it might be progress to not punish myself or feel negative about making mistakes. Perhaps it has been this that has encouraged me to learn more and take risks with work that I might not have done otherwise. This new work project makes that clear. But now it is time to turn the lens outward, to look at the world, and I'm not that thrilled with what I see. Not going to pretend otherwise. How to live with what I see and the limited ability I have to make the world a better place? The enormity of the beast against the tools I have, it is not inspiring. What I'm looking for is inspiration, with a capital I. |
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Lemoncake, Omers, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
13 3,133 hugs
given |
#744
T, it’s T day. I am excited. Seeing you Monday and Thursday works really well fo me I wish we could do it every week (without the extra long week and a half breaks). I hope my bouncie overrides my social fears and I can ask for a “hi” hug and a “bye” hug... you already know that is normal for me.
T, I keep having dreams about being really, really scared in your office and what you will do... like more scared than you have ever seen me. I can’t see you ever letting me get that scared in your office, it would upset you too much to see. T, there are some parts of my story that I am going to need to tell you even though you don’t need to hear them to help me... but I know they will be super upsetting to you so I am not sure what to do. Can you be you again today? I want to laugh and smile and that is easier for me when you let your quirks show through rather than being all professional. __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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LabRat27, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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...............
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: in my head
Posts: 2,911
17 8,779 hugs
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#745
Was surprised you did not respond to my email yet.
I'm trying to hush the inner critic before it can even get the statement out so that whatever statement doesn't become a running dialog. I need an inner critic voodoo doll that I can wrap up in saran wrap and duck tape mouth shut. |
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LabRat27, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, Omers, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,819
12 3,149 hugs
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#746
If you find one, can you let me know? I would also benefit from one.
__________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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Lemoncake, SlumberKitty
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Omers
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,988
(SuperPoster!)
12 66.7k hugs
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#747
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SlumberKitty
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Omers
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
13 3,133 hugs
given |
#748
OMG T, that hat in THAT car... I am dying! The Fr transference is fierce! and typing this on my fave couch in your waiting room has me laughing way too hard... going to be an interesting hour!
__________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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SlumberKitty
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Roses are falling.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,734
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
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#749
From tomorrow just 17 days to go.
At the moment I don't feel like I need to see a back up T, but I am seeing a massage therapist at the fancy spa again on friday, after I left feeling so much lighter yesterday. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
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Omers, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,819
10 375 hugs
given |
#750
Oh T, who would have thought I would have cried so much over the loss of somebody. I said years ago I would never allow myself to get close enough to a person that their leaving would hurt me. Whelp here I am still in excruciating pain over the loss of you. You taught me that the memories and time together makes all the the pain worth it. As was usually the case, you were right. You made a huge impact on my life. You helped me recognize and celebrate the successes and good times. You were also always there to comfort me when things were the worst. You made me feel cared about, stron and worthy. No matter what I said you always made me feel safe and comfortable. You taught me trust my instincts and that I am a good mom.
I still can't believe you are gone. I do charish the memories. The memories are worth the pain. __________________ |
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LonesomeTonight, Omers, SlumberKitty
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,819
12 3,149 hugs
given |
#751
I don't want to be in my head at the moment.
__________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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Anonymous42961, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, Omers, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: Anonymous
Posts: 3,132
11 129 hugs
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#752
Quote:
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Omers, SlumberKitty
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,832
(SuperPoster!)
9 75k hugs
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#753
Dear T,
Thanks for not pushing the "breathing" and meditation thing today. You seemed to really take me seriously when I talked about Thursday night, and I appreciate that. And you seemed particularly compassionate today. And yay, Super Mario socks (hadn't seen them in a long time). Love, LT |
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LostOnTheTrail, Omers, SlumberKitty
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DP_2017
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
5 70 hugs
given |
#754
You kind of threw me off today when you asked me how therapy is working for me, and I didn't really answer very well because I needed time to think. I am working on formulating a better answer for next week. I guess anything is better than a shrug and "it seems to be ok".
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LonesomeTonight, Omers, SlumberKitty
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DP_2017
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,819
10 375 hugs
given |
#755
Quote:
__________________ |
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SlumberKitty
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Omers
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Roses are falling.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,734
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
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#756
aaaaaaaaaand back to thinking that maybe I'm not ready to come back.
Possible trigger:
P.P.S - I have 7 "emails" from you now. Yep I'm crazy, but I went through my inbox flagging some of your older emails and marking them as unread so they would stay at the top of my inbox and look new. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." Last edited by Lemoncake; Apr 08, 2019 at 03:33 PM.. |
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Anonymous42961, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, Omers, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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LabRat27, Omers
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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#757
I think that's a good sign Lemoncake. HUGS Kit
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Lemoncake, Omers
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
13 3,133 hugs
given |
#758
T, you are awesome and amaizing and I love you... even if you aren’t a pet person.
__________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,414
6 665 hugs
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#759
Honestly. I wish I could stop crying over someone who has probably not even thought of me more than once in the last month, if that. This is ridiculous. Why do I care? It's over, you are gone, why can't I just let it all go and move on? Good lord
__________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
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Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, Omers, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
5 1 hugs
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#760
You better be ready for me on Wednesday!
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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LonesomeTonight, Omers, SlumberKitty
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