I have experienced big changes since i started therapy 8 years ago but about a year ago i felt stuck and saw other Ts. I realise i can't go back but i don't know how to go forward. My T says there is nothing kore he can do, that i somehow have to do something, but i dont know what this something is. Has anyone else been through this?

[Omers]

Ugh, yes with a bunch of T’s and they all convinced me it was my fault, my responsibility... blah, blah, blah... now, with a new T I call BS!
New T doesn’t find me hard to work with other than the extent of work we need to do. He honestly seems to feel heartbroken (?) that other T’s gave up on me. He doesn’t let us get stuck, he will invite me out of my comfort zone in different ways until he finds one that I CAN do and then we are moving again! This past session I explained to him “how do I know what concerns you or what you, a healthy person, needs to know to help me when I have never been there?” It clicked! He did not want to push/pressure me into trusting him with something unless I felt safe enough to do it myself, it hadn’t dawned on him I might not know what to trust him with! So he started asking and he found that I was really open with him and actually the more he asked the more I relaxed. We have accomplished more in 7 sessions than in the entire 20+ years I had been in therapy with other T’s.

[ArtleyWilkins]

For me, that something was a decision . . . a couple of decisions I guess. Those decisions required major changes in how I coped (which was a thinking thing) and how I interacted with my world (which was a doing thing). Making those changes ultimately brought me forward, got me out of the repeated cycle of depression and isolation I was stuck in.

So perhaps this is a point of needing to make a major decision for change. That change could be internal or external. No one can really define that for you. But generally, if we are stuck, it's because we continue to think the same way, do the same things, feel the same way. In order to get unstuck, we have to move out of that spot, and generally that takes internal resolve. I don't think that is about blame. I don't think it is about needing to try harder. It's more about transforming our awareness and understanding of ourselves into action. We can talk and talk and talk to our therapists, but ultimately it comes down to our own resolve to do something which results in a lasting change for the positive.

The difficult part is figuring out what is keeping you stuck, and then figuring out where you are spinning your wheels. That's different for everyone.

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

For me, that something was a decision . . . a couple of decisions I guess. Those decisions required major changes in how I coped (which was a thinking thing) and how I interacted with my world (which was a doing thing). Making those changes ultimately brought me forward, got me out of the repeated cycle of depression and isolation I was stuck in.

So perhaps this is a point of needing to make a major decision for change. That change could be internal or external. No one can really define that for you. But generally, if we are stuck, it's because we continue to think the same way, do the same things, feel the same way. In order to get unstuck, we have to move out of that spot, and generally that takes internal resolve. I don't think that is about blame. I don't think it is about needing to try harder. It's more about transforming our awareness and understanding of ourselves into action. We can talk and talk and talk to our therapists, but ultimately it comes down to our own resolve to do something which results in a lasting change for the positive.

The difficult part is figuring out what is keeping you stuck, and then figuring out where you are spinning your wheels. That's different for everyone.

i have been thinking on nd off for months i think it is the trust issue. I have to push myself to trust instead of throwing up excuses not to. I really dont know how. I have started with little things like bringing drawings in but it gets to a certain point and then i close down. I am sick of carrying this burden of mistrust even though i know he is trustworthy on a certain level.

i also think i want to keep punishing myself but i am unsure as to why wheni hve the means to help myself heal