[SummerTime12]

I know it’s usually the other way around (the client idealizing the T), but do any of you feel like your T actually idealizes you? I feel like mine kind of does this with me, but I don’t know if that’s normal. Or if I’m perceiving things correctly. What do people think?
For what it’s worth, I do tend to idealize my T, also.

[DP_2017]

It probably can feel that way to some clients but it's probably not likely. I don't think too often they put too much stake in one specific client. However I suppose it's possible. You could always ask but Idk how honest they would be about it. The therapeutic relationship can be very confusing for sure

[SlumberKitty]

I don't think my T idealizes me. I doubt she thinks of me at all out of session.....

[susannahsays]

I don't understand what idealizing a client has to do with playing favorites or thinking about the client outside of session.

The therapist certainly doesn't idealize me. I do think the previous one idealized C a bit, though.

[nottrustin]

Adolized? I doubt it. I so not T was very impressed with aspects of my life but I doubt she idolized it. There were things about my husbands and my relationship that was contrary to much of what is recommended. Once I told her it worked for us (our communication style, being overly protective, etc) she told me she had never been able to her a relationship to last 3 years and hubby and I had been together over 20 years so who was she to say it was wrong. She also was very amazed by the nature of my friendships and that I enjoyed and frequently has large groups of people at our home for parties, bbqs etc.

[LabRat27]

I sometimes feel like that about his refusal to believe that I'm actually a bad worthless person, etc., but rationally I don't think he idealizes me.

The last T I saw long term definitely did, but that whole thing was a countertransference **** show. I didn't idealize her as in think she was perfect or better than other people, but I also didn't let myself acknowledge how unethical her conduct was and hold her responsible for that. Like she had good intentions and cared about me so I couldn't blame her. Even though it was her job to know better.

Sometimes my Ts perception of me, my accomplishments, etc sounds foreign to me. She speaks very highly of me frequently. I haven't considered this to be idealizing, but a lot of the time, it's just not hope I see myself. Maybe someone else recognizing positive things about you feels like idealizing, but it's really just an accurate perception of you that you might not realize yet?

[elisewin]

My T has the ability to see the best in me. For example in a situation where I thought I failed, she often sees a lot of positives in my way of doing things - which often brings more good in me and makes me see and feel more good things about myself and me in my life.

But no, she doesn't idealize me, but she is on my side and lets it show, and I appreciate the good she sees in me.

[Amyjay]

My T gives me unconditional positive regard which really comes off as idealizing at times. So on the face of it I often feel like she idealizes me, but I "get" that she is just being therapisty. I bet she doesn't really think that way about me!

[ArtleyWilkins]

Ha, ha! No.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

Sometimes I feel like he thinks I'm capable of more than I think I am (like using coping skills or not doing harmful things), but it usually turns out that he's right and I can in fact do what he thinks I can. So I think I sometimes feel like he idealizes parts, but I guess that's just my perception.

[Omers]

My T also does the unconditional positive regard thing. I don’t think I would go as far as idealizing as be both have traits that would drive eachother out of our minds outside the office. However, I think he image of me is very skewed because of his bent towards unconditional positive regard. I have seen times where his intuition/instincts have gotten a glimpse of “real me” and shuttered before he could shut it off... I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to tell him I have a shadow side and I am well aware of it so it is “safe” to talk about it. Direct has not worked.

[stopdog]

No. It is a technique they use at clients when they try to say positive things about the client.

[seoultous]

idealize me? So you are asking if T regards me as perfect or better than in reality? My T would say that it is impossible to fake being better than you are in reality. So I bet she doesn't idealize me. I bet she doesn't idolize me either.

Yes, one of my previous Ts did. I'd catch him looking at me with that dreamy look and other signs; things he said....

I think idealizing is similar, if not the same, as falling in love. Maybe your T has fallen in love with you? They have their transferences and vulnerabilities too, and you may have evoked a positive, idealizing counter transference in your T. It likely will pass in time.

[LonesomeTonight]

I wouldn't say mine idealizes me. He seems to see a strength in me that I don't, but I wouldn't call that idealizing so much.

[velcro003]

absolutely not.

[doyoutrustme]

I don’t see how that would be possible with the dumpster fire of problems I bring.